Beyond Half-Baked Leadership
As I reflect on my preparation for ministry as a pastor, I am thankful for what I received. I learned from many teachers who sought to instill a process for learning how to learn rather than just content retention. I learned sound principles of study, communication, and counseling. I gained an understanding of specific pastoral roles beyond Sunday. In retrospect, however, I also wish there had been more focus in my formal education about the leadership role of pastoral ministry. I mean the parts that equip one to cast vision, work with a board, and the need to create a corporate culture. I learned those leadership traits through trial and error. I wonder if the absence of those skills resided with school choices, professors’ lack of ministry experience, or some other reason. My previous education experiences led me to conclude that the gifts of teaching and mercy were elevated while the gift of leadership was minimized. But, that is a blog post for another day.
Tod Bolsinger served as a pastor previous to his current role as Associate Professor of Leadership Formation at Fuller Seminary. He writes with a style and concern that reminds me of Paul’s influence upon a younger pastor, Timothy. The seasoned minister seeks to encourage, prepare, and give direction to those coming behind him. His concern resides in the challenges of leading adaptive change, defined by Ronald Heifetz as change that “requires new learning.”[1] Adaptive change requires onboarding people at all levels of an organization. Tod Bolsinger applies that challenge to leadership in the local church.
Tempered Resilience, seeks to provide a strategy for clergy to develop the resilience necessary to withstand the challenges of leading deep change. Bolsinger states his thesis early in this pastoral leadership book. Leading change brings disruption. Disruption breeds resistance. “To lead, especially in the face of resistance, requires that we develop resilience.”[2] Leaning heavily into Edwin Friedman’s concept of failure of nerve, Bolsinger adds another potential threat that stalls effectiveness in leadership, namely, a failure of heart. Failure of nerve refers to “caving to the pressure of the group’s anxiety to return to the status quo.”[3] Failure of heart occurs when a discouraged leader disconnects from the people she or he leads. Failure of nerve acquiesces, and failure of heart disengages. Either response dooms change leadership to failure.
Bolsinger offers no quick fix to the challenge of leading change. He cautions that the resilience needed to survive the resistance to adaptive change needs to be formed over time before the challenge comes. Six chapters lay out the author’s process drawing from the analogy of metal tempered in the forging process. Like Eve Poole in Leadersmithing, Bolsinger states, “Practices create a kind of spiritual muscle memory, training us to respond to a crisis and resistance like it is second nature.”[4] In addition to Friedman, Bolsinger draws from the leadership traits or content of Martin Luther King, Jr., Brene Brown, Angela Duckworth, and more.
I believe the greatest value of this book comes from Bolsinger’s focus on the inner life of the leader as they progress through the challenges of adaptive change. He offers valuable steps for a pastoral change leader to stay emotionally healthy. At one point, he draws from Erving Goffman’s analogy of the front and back stage, adding an aspect, the “off stage.” Off-stage refers to those places away from performance roles and engagement in other parts of life.[5] A significant aspect of the off-stage life of a leader, according to Bolsinger, centers on relationships. Citing studies focused on off-stage relationships, “the quality of your relationships with other people influences how emotionally resilient you can be in the face of an emotional or physical crisis.”[6] His vital connection between resilience and relationship proves to be a timely encouragement. In a recent Chemistry Staffing study, 75% of pastors in America struggle with loneliness.[7]70% of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor.[8] While it has always been impossible to separate leadership from the leader, a much-needed emphasis on the inner life of the leader emerges in this book.
One respectful criticism I offer of the book comes from Bolsinger’s repeated use of the word “sabotage.” Like Friedman, Bolsinger predicts the people’s resistance within the church as an organization to adaptive change. There is much truth to that dynamic. Nowhere, however, does he distinguish unhealthy sabotage from constructive criticism that can also come to a leader initiating change. I have found that my harshest critics are worth listening to, and some offer valid corrections and helpful input. It is possible to read this book and conclude that all negativity is equally bad sabotage, which sounds only dangerous and nefarious. Sometimes, helpful input comes cleverly disguised as an adversary.
[1] http://changetheorists.pbworks.com/w/page/15475038/Ron%20Heifetz, accessed October 10, 2022.
[2] Tod Bolsinger, Tempered Resilience: How Leaders are Formed in the Crucible of Change (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2020), 4.
[3] Ibid., 29.
[4] Ibid.,132.
[5] Ibid. ,112.
[6] Ibid., 120.
[7] Todd Rhoades, “Lonely Pastors…Everywhere” https://blog.chemistrystaffing.com/lonely-pastors…-everywhere, April 12, 2021, accessed October 10, 2022.
[8] Lance Witt, Replenish: Leading From a Healthy Soul (Grand Rapids: Baker Books, 2011), 18.
About the Author
Roy Gruber
Husband, father, pastor, student, and sojourner in Babylon12 responses to “Beyond Half-Baked Leadership”
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RG: I hadn’t thought about the distinction you made between healthy criticism and sabotage. There needs to be a line drawn between the two. I bet with all the years you have been a minister, you have witnessed both. Do you think the book talked about this issue sufficiently or just breezed over it?
Troy, I believe with Bolsinger’s pastoral experience, he knows plenty about criticism. That makes it all the more surprising to me that he doesn’t spend any time differentiating sabotage from constructive criticism. In my own experience, I’ve had to learn to listen to the critiques rather than just shut it all out.
Very insightful post, Roy. I also appreciate your critique at the end. Well said. I had not thought of that, but can certainly see where you are coming from.
As you think about your work (in a few years), what principles do you hope to incorporate from this book to coach others?
Eric, if I spend time resourcing pastors in the developing world, I hope to communicate the value of relationships and a leader’s willingness to undergo self-reflection. I believe I can share those two traits from personal experience and the benefits of making them part of your leadership journey.
Roy: I too appreciate your questioning of the use of sabotage as automatically equating to negative impacts. Given your statement “I have found that my harshest critics are worth listening to, and some offer valid corrections and helpful input,” I wonder if you’ve found an avenue for the criticism to be offered in healthy avenues? Often it seems that it comes out when someone is at the end of their frustration rope – is there a way to make space for criticism before getting to that point?
Kayli, you are so right in saying that criticism often comes when someone reaches a point of frustration and disengagement rather than somewhere earlier along the way. Right now, I’m working with our Church Board to develop more of a culture of communication between the congregation and the leadership team. One recent critic stated how concerns have been shared “many times” through written means available to people each Sunday. I see every one of those cards that have a name on them, and I’ve never seen one from that person. I’m not sure what to make of that. I believe the best we can do is to create the kind of culture that invites communication, even the hard kind that brings critique.
Roy,
Thank you for sharing some of your early journey and preparation for ministry. It is so important to celebrate those gifts. I also appreciate Bolsinger’s lack of differentiating between sabotage and constructive criticism. Do you have a network of relationships that you rely on to keep you grounded? If yes, how did you come did you manage to create that?
Denise, I have a few trusted relationships that have greatly helped me in my journey. The man who hired me is one of those. He just retired and we have been in contact for over thirty years. He knows me really well and can distinguish between my own issues or those present in a situation I face. I don’t remember an intentional choice to make him a voice into my leadership as it just naturally unfolded due to a relationship we had on staff together. Some lay-people who served in leadership and have moved away have also proven helpful as they do not “have a dog the fight” of situations I face. I find that they can offer objective input and advice for me.
Hi Roy…thank you for your post and engagement with Bolsinger’s book. I appreciate both the helpful points you took from his writing and the critique you offered at the end. You spend a good amount of time unpacking ‘off-stage’ relationships and their value to a leader. What ‘off-stage’ relationships have been most meaningful to you as a leader? Did you deliberately cultivate them or were they serendipitous gifts along the way?
Elmarie, thanks for you important question. It’s very close to Denise’s question, so I will paste the answer I wrote her and offer to you as well: I have a few trusted relationships that have greatly helped me in my journey. The man who hired me is one of those. He just retired and we have been in contact for over thirty years. He knows me really well and can distinguish between my own issues or those present in a situation I face. I don’t remember an intentional choice to make him a voice into my leadership as it just naturally unfolded due to a relationship we had on staff together. Some lay-people who served in leadership and have moved away have also proven helpful as they do not “have a dog the fight” of situations I face. I find that they can offer objective input and advice for me.
Roy, I appreciate your critique of Bolsinger regarding sabotage. Although he does not say it directly, could his claim that a resilient leader must also have great attunement/listening spirit be where one discerns the difference. He comes back around to one of his stories on page 190 that sort of speaks to this.
You say, “I believe the greatest value of this book comes from Bolsinger’s focus on the inner life of the leader as they progress through the challenges of adaptive change.” How do you help the leaders of your congregation live into that, for Bolsinger reminds us that it is not just the individual that must adapt but the institution as well for the change to “stick”?
Nicole, I’ve found the best way to bring people along with adaptive change is to lean heavily in “why?” I’ve learned the hard way that simply making change causes unnecessary anxiety and reaction. Walking people through the rationale over a span of some time (varies depending on the issue at hand) does not eliminate anxiety but I’ve found it to greatly reduce it. If a leader is well within themselves and maintains that calm presence, change takes place without unnecessary losses. I might add, I’ve also found that some people leaving can be a blessing in disguise. If people cannot get onboard with the direction, everyone is better served by them finding something they can support wholeheartedly. That’s not to say it’s easy. It hurts every time someone chooses to disengage from the church – all the more reason for the inner life of that leader to be in a healthy place.