The Best and the Worst of Us
Nelson Mandela has a gift of story telling. For the most part, I have enjoyed listening to his autobiography on Audible. Until I got to the part where he described prison life on Robben Island. I was tired, still recovering from my vaccines in preparation for Cape Town, and my emotional resilience was low. I hit a point in listening where I had to turn it off and reach out for prayer. Mandela’s attention to detail had a triggering effect on me and I started to feel extremely anxious as memories flooded my mind.
2017, my son’s Senior year in high school, was a difficult year, to say the least. My son has autism. The day he graduated from high school, he assaulted my husband and spent the next month and a half in juvenile detention. We had difficult visits talking to him on a phone and seeing him through a glass window. I remember at his hearing, when he realized that he was not going home, he screamed, “NO!” and tried to run out of the courtroom. I turned around to see him taken down by four burly policemen. As a mother, it was a horrific experience to watch.
It took me a while to be able to get back to reading and digesting Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu’s stories. I did not get very far before our Advance, so now I am playing catch up. I am grateful for my prayer warriors. I was nervous about seeing the prisons first hand, but thankfully I did not get triggered while on Robben Island. I was able to engage fully in the moment and listen to the story of our guide, Itumeleng Makwela.
Makwela told us that he was a prisoner on Robben Island from 1983 – 1990. He was labeled prisoner 18-1983, the eighteen prisoner of 1983. Treating the prisoners of Robben Island as no more than a number was just one way of dehumanizing them. Mandela detailed in his autobiography the many ways in which they were dehumanized day after day, year after year. From the food they ate to the clothes they wore, the apartheid government sought to dehumanize the African people.
Walking through the prisons at Robben Island, visiting the District Six Museum, driving by Langa, learning about the history of South Africa highlights to me that there is great potential for evil to happen everywhere you go. Learning about apartheid and how the African people were treated reminds me of how the Native Americans were treated when invaded by the Western World. It makes me think of the history of slavery and racism in my own country. The Black Lives Matter movement highlights how far we still have to go toward racial equality.
There is great potential for evil, but also great potential for good. We saw the worst of humanity, but we also saw the best of humanity. Nelson Mandela was a man of love, compassion, and forgiveness. Desmond Tutu described him this way, “This man, who had been vilified and hunted down as a dangerous fugitive and incarcerated for nearly three decades, would soon be transformed into the embodiment of forgiveness and reconciliation.”1 Mandela worked toward unity and harmony, a middle ground, rather than trying to swing the pendulum in the opposite direction. He did not seek revenge, instead, he exemplified love. Itumeleng Makewela talked of forgiving his captors, of now living as a free man on the island on which he was imprisoned. Both men model Jesus on the Cross when He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34, ESV)
I have lived a life of privilege. Reading these stories, visiting South Africa highlights just how privileged and how much I take for granted. If I cannot read of the atrocities of others or see first hand the struggles and not take a hard look in the mirror at myself, I miss an opportunity to grow. I miss the point. Desmond Tutu wrote, “It is and has always been God’s intention that we should live in friendship and harmony.”2 As I journey home, my prayer is that I would live out these words, that South Africa would stay with me, that I would continue to learn and grow, and continue to do what I can to be a positive force for change in my community.
1. Desmond Tutu, No Future Without Forgiveness. (New York, Doubleday, 2000), iBooks pg. 17 of 381
2. Desmond Tutu, No Future Without Forgiveness. (New York, Doubleday, 2000), iBooks pg. 345 of 381
About the Author
Becca Hald
Becca is an ordained Foursquare minister, serving as the Online Community Pastor at Shepherd's House Church. She has over twenty-five years of leadership experience both inside and outside the church. Becca has served her community in many capacities ranging from Administrative Assistant and Children’s Ministry Director to Secretary and President of multiple school organizations. She and her husband, Andrew have been married for over 25 years. They have two adult children, Drew and Evelyn. Her great passion is to equip others, to raise awareness about mental health, and to help reduce the negative stigma surrounding mental health issues. In her free time, she loves going to Disneyland, reading, sewing, and making cards.7 responses to “The Best and the Worst of Us”
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Becca, I really resonate with this blog especially with visiting the prison Nelson Mandela was incarcerated in. Coming from a construction background, I was a foremen on two very large prisons. On these projects, I did not realize the severity of what these inmates would endure. It was a very sobering experience.
“It is said that no one truly knows a nation until one has been inside its jails. A nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens, but its lowest ones.” (Mandela, page 201)
This quote really resonates with me. How do we treat the least of these? I used to have such a different perspective of prisons and prisoners. I was raised to believe that they all deserve to be there and they are getting less than what they deserve. How arrogant was my thinking? May I always be willing to learn and grow and change.
Becca,
Thank you so much for sharing what happened in 2017, such a tough experience, and I am glad you have a great team of prayer warriors that held you in prayer, especially during your visit to South Africa. I work in Prison and appreciate life-changing experiences especially inmates who have met Jesus in these prison cells and are now witnesses of God’s amazing grace and forgiveness. As a father of 4 boys becoming men now and one precious girl, I would be heartbroken to see one of them locked up in these places. I can only imagine a heart of a mother being much more broken especially with a son who has autism.
I have also appreciated Mandela’s storytelling and have listened to his autobiography more than once, and plan to return to it for more listening. I find men like Mandela and Tutu very rare in our world today especially the choice to forgive and turn tragedy into triumph. I speak to men in prison units and love to remind them of stories of such men who choose forgiveness and reconciliation becoming icons of hope not only to South Africa but to the whole world.
Thank you Jean. I had a conversation with a dear friend and her husband just the other day about forgiveness. I was telling them about Cape Town and my friend’s husband suggested that the US needs to pardon the men and women involved in the January 6 attack on Capitol Hill. He commented that in their minds, these people were patriots, standing up for what they believed in and that by trying and convicting them, we are only perpetuating the injustice. Are they any different from the men and women who participated in the apartheid government? Are they any different from Mandela’s jailers? It was a great conversation and really made me think about my response to these issues.
Hi Becca,
A great conversation with your friends indeed! When it comes to breaking the law, chances are people will face consequences even when forgiven. Some of the Inmates in my current prison ministry have been fully forgiven by Jesus for decades. Their life and ministry inside these prison walls and their commitment to the Lord can show. Yet when they show up for their pro hearing each year, they are denied release, and some may die in prison (on life sentence) even after receiving full forgiveness from Jesus.
Becca thank you for sharing your personal experience. I think when we are aware of emotions it is much easier to deal with them before hand. I am glad that you were able to visit and see first had what it was Mandela was describing. Continue in faith and practice love.
It really does make a difference to be aware of our emotions, to understand our triggers and be able to respond appropriately. It is also important to have grace when we hit an unexpected trigger. I am learning to, as you put it, “continue in faith and practice love.” It is an ongoing process.