Put Your Left Foot In, Put Your Left Out, Put Your Left Foot In and You Shake it All About…
Meaning-making or map-making is my over arching understanding of this doctorate journey. What does my map of leadership look like and how do I make meaning of it? I sometimes wish I could physically open that popup relief map and walk into it to get a street level perspective. This is one of those times.
I have been interviewing for a new call with a church in North Carolina. Over the course of 3 interviews, I have fielded questions about my leadership and conflict management skills. My responses accessed the map that has A Failure of Nerve popups all over it. The book by Edwin Friedman presents the challenges leaders face in the presence of an emotional regressed, anxious system. His argument “that healthy leadership requires one to have a strong sense of self in order to engage a chronically anxious organization that clings to security, easy pain, and the “need” of the quick fix to problems”[1] is grounded in his research and experience. Friedman’s language gave voice to my answers that included words like, self-differentiation, low threshold of pain, anxious system, imaginative gridlock, courageous pioneering, and playfulness.
Pondering my leadership identity map as I consider a move to a new ministry context, I keep returning to Friedman’s assertion that the lack of playfulness within a system reveals anxiety and dysfunction.[2] After reading The Molecule of More my meaning-making of playfulness takes on new dimension. I have begun wondering about the brain’s chemical and neurological participation in a leader’s self-differentiation process. How does dopamine invite playfulness and do the brains of participants in an anxious system have capacity to release dopamine in healthy balance with the H&N’s?
It seems to me that one of the most important hurdles for the church to leap over is to embrace playfulness, not for playfulness’ sake, but for the pioneering energy to rebound. Friedman notes that playfulness is important for engaging in intimacy as well as self-differentiation.[3] When a system is functioning with that spirit of openness, optimism and adventure can pave the endeavors ahead. He states that a lack of playfulness curbs one’s capacity to forgive or offer apology,[4] both of which are parament for the life force of a worshipping community.
Out of my curiosity for understanding the benefit of dopamine on playfulness and playfulness on health of individuals and thus communities I begin to dig into some research. What I found suggests that indeed there is a connection between the release of dopamine and inhibition to play.[5] There is also research that reveals how important playfulness in childhood and adolescence is to shape an adult who is “better able to navigate an ever-changing social, emotional, and cognitive landscape.”[6] But playfulness is not only beneficial to the shaping of a child into adulthood. Discoveries of the importance of continued engagement in playfulness encourages “physical and mental resilience; social intelligence; cognitive flexibility and intellect. We conclude that the incorporation of play within higher education by developing ‘Playful Universities’ could counteract the fear of failing, avoidance of risk and other negative aspects of performativity and goal-oriented behaviour.”[7]
So this begs these questions; how do I not only lead with playfulness but engender a space where the system is cognizant of the importance of play in the faith community? How do create space to invite the release of healthy dopamine levels to nurture the desire for play? How do I hold in tension the value of play with the cost of letting go of some certainty that faith our biases define?
Just when I think my leadership popup map makes sense, we read another book that wreaks havoc on it as though Joey Tribiani trapsed through it. That’s alright; I am starting to enjoy the creative process of making a new map with new popups…again…and again…and again.
[1] Richardson, Nicole. Blog No Good Deed Goes Unpunished. October 2021.
[2] Friedman, Edwin H., and Peter Steinke. 2017. A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. 10th Anniversary edition. New York: Church Publishing. Page 71.
[3] Ibid. Page 70.
[4] Ibid. Page71.
[5] https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1878929311000673#bib0485
[6] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5646690/
[7] https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/21594937.2020.1720128
About the Author
Nicole Richardson
PC(USA) pastor serving a church in Kansas City. In my spare time I teach yoga and scuba diving13 responses to “Put Your Left Foot In, Put Your Left Out, Put Your Left Foot In and You Shake it All About…”
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Nicole, you do a great job combining elements of both books for this semester in this post. I’m intrigued by this statement: “It seems to me that one of the most important hurdles for the church to leap over is to embrace playfulness, not for playfulness’ sake, but for the pioneering energy to rebound.” From you experience, what does this look, sound, and feel like when it’s happening? You mention openness, optimism, and adventure as dynamics present. Is there one story from your ministry journey that embodies those as an illustration? Also, I will pray for your unfolding transition in ministry. That’s a lot to handle while, ‘oh, by the way.’ getting your doctorate!
Nicole – I echo Roy’s questions that he poses. I would also be interested to know how you’ve seen the lack of playfulness within the congregation impact the whole/ministry? I could imagine the differing generational perspectives on play would be an aspect that would be challenging to navigate.
Kayli I see what Friedman says about the lack of playfulness to be very true…yes it impacts the entire ministry. The resistance to be a pioneer, to take risks…all a result of that staid mind and spirit set. I believe that generational aspects may be a dynamic…however I don’t think it’s predictive. This last Halloween I ask people to come to church in costume since it fell on a Sunday and the few that did dress up were those well above the age of 65 🙂
Roy, In my experience I have found that church people are playfully challenged. I have engaged in several offerings of playfulness from yoga or body prayer, coloring mandalas, hands on prayer stations that have included getting into a ball pit to looking at oneself in a mirror, and flying paper airplanes…all of these in worship since that is the main contact point. One year I had children and youth stomp grapes to “make wine” as part of the week long vacation bible school, or having a youth fundraiser that was all about taking a sledge hammer to a junk car (a dollar per swing). I’ve attempted to have people listen and engage scripture from the view that God reveals God’s sense of humor often in scripture. Inviting people to play games or to believe that worship can be fun and joyful and reverent all at the same time is often an invitation not readily taken.
I am planning on using the Gamestorming book with a small group this week to start discerning the way forward after these last 2 years.
Thank you for your prayers. It’s a lot….I am tenaciously holding onto humor 🙂
Thank you for sharing those great examples! I agree that the Church, in general, is playfully challenged!!
Nicole, a fascinating study came out in the last two years that found families that play together stay together. Christian educators picked up this study who also found that churches that play together stay together.
This is why I’m doing my NPO on the relational aspect of the congregational organization. Helping people navigate the challenging aspects and remember that we need to be an authentic community by living life well together, which also includes fun!
I’m so interested to see how your NPO unfolds, Andy. It seems like it could potentially be a great cross-over into other sectors.
I haven’t seen the study but I believe it to be true! Your work sounds interesting…and dare say it could be fun 🙂
Nicole, love the Friends meme! And I love your questions. Here is a thought for your as you consider your ‘calling.’ Your IDENTITY… know the SELF. How do you see God at work in your life? What are you finding as your sweet spots? What are you finding joy in? Give Eph. 2:10 a read… I LOVE that passage. What are those works He has set before you?
Thank you Eric! It’s funny, I have been working on finding my DNA scripture. Shawn Holtzclaw mentioned that at our Advance. This week I think I finally understand what my scripture DNA is…it is Jeremiah 1:4-10. As I have been having these interviews with the church in NC, God has given me more clarity on my identity and purpose at least for now.
Nicole: You pose good questions about playfulness and creating space for it in your leadership. I liked what Friedman said on this subject, too, and it rings true. We are humans, after all, and not robots. I would think creating this dynamic would be more difficult as you step into a new role at a church where nobody knows you. There is a degree of comfort that needs to be built for this to happen. But I’m sure you could accomplish this over time.
Troy thank you. I do believe that part of that space creation is curating trust and being upfront about how one offers trust (or not). My conversations with the search committee have been good and if they call me I think we have laid some great groundwork. It seems they have a playful spirit already 🙂
Nicole, I really appreciate your image of stepping into the map. It is such a great visual. I am intrigued by your focus on playfulness. It caused me to reflect on how play has influenced my ministry and work. I am reminded of a time in my early career as an educator when I was part of a pilot project team. The change that we were engaged in caused a lot of stress and opposition with the other teachers. Our project supervisor did something very interesting. She started all our meetings with wind-up toy races. It seemed stupid at first but in the end, I think that play time saved our sanity. I wonder what something so seemly silly would do to reduce stress in a church transition.
I am also reminded about when I first got to Poland in the 1996. At that time few people engaged in any kind of play. Children studied, took extra courses, attended music school, and participated in highly competitive sports. But none of these activities were done for the joy of it. Wonder what effects that type of culture has on the mental health of the individuals? I am also intrigued as to what was going on in their minds when I introduced board games and game night social gatherings. It might explain why I caused such a stir in the early days of living in that small town.