Written by: Telile Fikru Badecha on March 15, 2014

Recently I was invited to sing at one of the church conferences in Ethiopia. There were two male singers also invited to sing at this event. The program leader told me that I was scheduled to sing in the afternoon session right after one of the guys, I will call Ufarga, sang.  I was fine with that. At that time I was also doing some recording for my upcoming DVD and the person who was working on my DVD was with me to do some shooting while I sang. Unfortunately, Ufarga, after he got on the stage he kept singing non-stop. My videographer, who traveled 300km to record me, began to feel really frustrated and told the program leader to tell Ufarga to stop.  It was already past 6 o’clock and some people had begun to leave.  I then realized that the church leaders were comfortable with him continuing to sing so I asked my videographer to collect his belongings so we could leave. When Ufarga saw us leaving he looked at me and then said to the congregation, “Now it’s Telile turn to sing. Telile come forward.” I told the leader it is too late now, I will sing next time. And Ufarga, who knows no shame, came to me and said, “I just realized you are also doing some shooting for your DVD and let me know if there is anything I can help you with?”  No thanks!

While reading Making Room for Leadership: Power, Space and Influence[1] by MaryKate Morse I remembered the above story and pondered through all the details of this dramatic event. Why did Ufarga not want me to have a chance to sing? Why did he pretend to look nice and helpful at the end? Where did he get the power to control the stage? Why didn’t the program leader(s) stop him?

This reminded me the story of the pastor and the statesman that Morse shared in the first chapter. Morse argues that “Both of these leaders had power given to them by others, and both of them carried that confidence in their bodies”(p. 26). Similarly, Ufarga took up a great deal of space and time because the church leaders let him have it. They were comfortable with his manipulative singing style and his deliberate control of the whole event. They would rather let me be disappointed by not having a chance to sing rather than stop him from repeating the same lyric over and over to show off his singing talents. In my male dominated culture, men have no shame at all when taking up every public and social space. Rather, it sounds abnormal to their ears when they hear me question their action. That is why some of my friends and other caring people advise me to consider studying another field instead of theology. It is a very unpopular field in my culture, especially for women since they not allowed to have preaching and teaching roles, other than roles like healing and prophecy that use some supernatural gifts.  As Morse said it is the kind of community that places greater value on “evidence of spiritual gifts”
(p. 104).

It is amazing that I have been able to preach a couple of times in Sunday worship services at my church, and I received good responses both from the pastor and the congregation. But it has been a while since the last time I preached and I wondered why. A friend of mine who is on the church leadership told me that the pastor is suspicious of my theological education. I remember during one of my conversations with the pastor over the theological issues, we ended up having different opinions on some of those issues.  However, I did not know why the pastor was ignoring me until my friend told me.  So the pastor used his authority to hinder me from preaching, but not singing. He figured out that I do not get to say a lot when singing whereas I would if I was given a chance to preach. It is in this male dominated culture and ministry context that I have to navigate and find creative ways to serve God’s kingdom. For this reason, I utterly agree with Morse, “Gender is the most obvious and primary of distinctions made in social groups…women in leadership are often disadvantaged simply because of their gender”(p. 95). I know that my gifts and education would never be fully utilized if I were to just wait for my church to give me ministry opportunity. And I am grateful to God for giving me singing and song writing gifts, which have given me access to men’s space. Above all, I am grateful that through Morse’s writing I am now aware of the presence I carry through my music, and utilize the power that comes with it “in ways that enhance the kingdom of God?”(p.91). Also, I am encouraged to study carefully the example of our Lord Christ who pays “attention to the marginalized, the poor and the alien ”(p.91). I concur with Morse that leadership is about “humbling ourselves and serving each other” (p.29).Thus, as servant of Jesus, I seek His grace to help remain attached to Jesus and follow His lead.

About the Author

Telile Fikru Badecha