WARNING: Church Leadership Can Be Hazardous to Your Health
Sunday morning, July 3, 2016.
During the worship service, the executive pastor at NewSpring Church, a fast-growing, multi-site megachurch in South Carolina walks up to the microphone and begins to read the following statement:
“Through much prayer and with a heavy heart, we have important information to share with you regarding our pastor, Perry Noble. As of Friday, July 1, and in accordance with the governing bylaws, the directors and the pastoral advisory team have removed Perry as pastor of NewSpring Church…”
He goes on and relays the details of the church leadership’s decision to fire the founding pastor of their church citing Noble’s “posture toward his marriage, increased reliance on alcohol, and other behaviors” 1.
Ironically, only a few month’s before his firing, Perry Noble released his latest book entitled The Most Excellent Way to Lead: Discover the Heart of Great Leadership 2.
I thought of Noble as I read The Leadership Mystique by Manfred F.R. Kets De Vries 3. De Vries discusses the charismatic role of the leader (referring to a magnetic personality, not Pentecostalism). He paints the picture of the charismatic leader as someone who…
…has a clear vision of what is to be accomplished.
…is highly successful in motivating others.
…destroys enemies who get in the way.
…is able to get the best out of followers.
I do not have personal experience with Pastor Noble and wish him the best as he seeks to rebuild his life (he recently posted “one year sober” on his Facebook page and had been very public about his struggles). Having said that, I think that many pastors, especially megachurch pastors might be defined as charismatic leaders. If so, some of de Vries observations about charismatic leaders might be of use.
Kets de Vries contrasts the charismatic role of leadership (envisioning, empowering, energizing) with the Instrumental role of leadership (designing, controlling, rewarding). As a someone with degrees in business who is also a trained psychoanalyst, he brings a unique perspective to leadership. In writing about charismatic leaders, de Vries highlighted the psychological pressures that leadership brings. I think that these pressures can plague those of us who are in ministry. I will outline a few of these.
ENVY
How often do pastors ask other pastors “how many are you running these days?” or “how are your offerings these days?” It is easy for church leaders to evaluate their worth by the numerical and/or the financial growth of a church (aka “nickels and noses”). The next step is to envy those who seem to be doing better.
COMPETITION
Along with “envy” can come competition. While competition may not be bad in the business world, it can be a destructive force among churches. Ephesians 1:22 says that
God has put everything under the Messiah’s feet and has made him the head of everything for the good of the church,
In essence, all pastors work for the same company. For one pastor to speak ill of another pastor hurts everyone involved. Yet, it is tempting for pastors to make their church look better by highlighting the faults of another church.
DEPRESSION
In a recent article in Relevant Magazine entitled “Confessions of a Depressed Pastor”, Daniel Loy wrote “I am a pastor and I struggle with depression. I know you’re not really supposed to say that as a Christian, and certainly not as a pastor, but the truth is I have struggled on and off with depression for as long as I can remember”4. Most of us who have been in ministry a long time have known of peers who have left the ministry because of depression. Church leaders and business leaders alike face emotional pressures which, left unchecked, can cause psychological damage.
THE LONELINESS OF COMMAND
The Leadership Mystique points out that many leaders suffer from what is called “The Loneliness of Command.” The bottom line is this. If you are at the top, it may be difficult to have any friends who see you as you are. If you ask, most pastors can tell you a story about a friendship with a church member that went sour and caused damage. An issue with charismatic pastors of large churches is that there is a reality that many people want to hang out with you. When pastors become “celebrity pastor” after writing a successful book, appearing on television, etc. this only increases.
God wired us up to need friends. Pastors are no different. In addition to this, pastors who preach about “authentic community” feel hypocritical if they are unable to form quality friendships. For many pastors, these relationships are formed outside of the church where they serve.
NARCISSISM
Kets de Vries’s background in psychotherapy showed when he discussed narcissism among leaders. A quick reading of the gospels shows us that Jesus was the most powerful, yet least self-absorbed person to ever walk the earth. Yet, that same cannot be said for everyone in ministry. From evangelists in powder blue suits to hipster pastors in skinny jeans, narcissism is not alien to the pastorate.
Narcissism is more than an inappropriate focus on appearance. For some leaders, their narcissism takes the form of an unwillingness to accept any form or criticism. As church leaders, we must be vulnerable enough to listen to the wisdom of both coworkers and church members who can help us make good decisions.
SUMMARY
Many pastors and other church leaders are gifted in communication, motivation, and charismatic leadership. These gifts can be used by God to reach people for Christ and to build up the church. At the same time, pastors and church leaders need to be in touch with the psychological pressures that come with their position. They need to maintain healthy relationships, deal with pressure effectively, and fight against envy and narcissism if they are to be effective for “the long haul.”
1. https://www.charismanews.com/us/58283-pastor-perry-noble-fired-after-16-years-at-newspring-church
2. Noble, Perry. The most excellent way to lead: discover the heart of great leadership. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., 2016.
3. Kets De Vries, Manfred. The Leadership Mystique: Leadership Behavior in the Human Enterprise. (Harlow, England: Prentice Hall, 2006) 137.
4. https://relevantmagazine.com/god/church/confessions-depressed-pastor
About the Author
Stu Cocanougher
6 responses to “WARNING: Church Leadership Can Be Hazardous to Your Health”
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Great post-Stu- I like your summary: “…pastors and church leaders need to be in touch with the psychological pressures that come with their position. They need to maintain healthy relationships, deal with pressure effectively, and fight against envy and narcissism if they are to be effective for “the long haul.”
With narcissism being a growing problem with pastors and them living imbalanced lives, how would you suggest pastors stay healthy?
What a great connection, Stu, between these negative characteristics and the tendencies/temptations of pastoring. I think I’ve met many of those people you identify!
Have you read Mandy Smith’s “The Vulnerable Pastor”? She recognizes that God’s strength is made clearest when we recognize and don’t hide our weaknesses.
Stu, I like your summary of the ‘dark side’ of leadership. I have done a lot of reading lately on spiritual abuse. It is another form of the narcissism you mention. It is really sad when the main pastor and the ‘yes-men’ elders decide to create a holy club complete with rules for membership.
We stayed in one of those churches for a long time out of loyalty before exiting. How can anyone go about helping the one in charge see his error and change?
Hey Stu,
I am glad you share the story of Pastor Nobbles. So many pastors who experience a rapid growth in membership have had to make changes mentally, life, and spiritually. We make comments that God prepares you for your next journey, God won’t take you where the holy spirit won’t lead you, God won’t put on you more than you can handle, and If you are faithful over a few things then God will put you over greater things.
Those words are comforting yet, in reality, we see many mega pastors deal with envy, competition, narcissism, rivalry, criticism, increase responsibility, family imbalances, and more. It is essential I think that the pastor must have a person that he or she can be truthful with and discuss their feelings and seek spiritual counseling. We the members sometimes don’t allow them to be human.
Thank you for your post
Stu,
This is a really, really great post. I want to hit on two of the temptations/issues with pastoring that you highlight.
Competition – You rightly highlight this as a critical one. One of my pet peeves is when someone asks ‘which religion are you?’ when they really mean ‘what denomination?’ – not so much because it highlights a lack of knowledge or understanding, but because it exasperates the differences or the separation between our churches.
You used the company analogy, I often tell people – we are all playing on the same team. And it is true, but how many of our pastors and our churches act that way?
Depression – you highlighted the Relevant article, and I think Loy is correct in his assertion that people don’t expect and/or don’t want pastors or Christians to have issues like depression – But I see that as one of our biggest problems. We can’t have a real faith, when we pretend that our faith is supposed to eliminate all of the problems in our lives.
Thanks again – this really was a great post.
Stu you hit on some key realities amongst leaders. Depression is so real and is seen in some cases an ultimate sin or even a dismissive condition. It is very hard for people to understand how depression manifests and operates in the lives of others. Those who are dealing with it are often left feeling isolated and helpless. They feel like they are in an emotional prison that others may never understand. I hope and pray that more believers will be awaken to the areas you discussed in your post and get an understanding on how to love and care for people going through.