Dead from Within
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You cannot go into any airport bookstore and not find a book on leadership. If you go to Amazon and search leadership you will not find an empty search. So what is it about leadership that motivates authors to write endless books on the subject matter. in its basic form, leadership is essential to human existence. So much so that people like Scott Adams have made a living on providing comic depictions about it. Most business professionals have found comic relief in a Dilbert comic. Many of the comics do provide a realistic depiction of everyday office life for some people. Unfortunately, while it provides humor, the reality of what takes place daily for many of those leaders is not a joking matter. For many, the pressures and sacrifices of those leaders can become easily detrimental to themselves and to their organization. The perceived expectations placed on leaders in organizations causes them to navigate their path based on what they think is needed to lead successfully. One can agree that leadership does require a sense of empathy as well as energy. Without holding both of those in tandem leaders tend to become apathetic emotionally to what is taking place. Sadly, there are many leaders today that can be defined as “dead”. These leaders being “dead within” struggle to connect emotionally with what is taking place within their own experiences and their organizations. In the book The Leadership Mystique , Manfred Kets De Vries describes two detriminal type of syndromes that are apparent in many leaders : Alexithymia and Anhedonia. The author describes these as something that can be considered serious psychiatric syndromes.
Leaders who have Alexithymia are unable to respond emotionally to any experience. They choose a mechanical (concrete and objective) and not an emotional intelligent response to handling conflict. “Alexithymics struggle, with varied success, to understand their emotions and moods, and they’re incapable of perceiving the subtleties of either. Because they’re not sure what they feel, they also have difficulty expressing affect. Instead of showing an emotional reaction, they focus on physical problems.”[1] Kets De Vries says that many leaders who exude this syndrome do so as a result of their work environment. He notes examples from insurance and banks as environment that suppresses emotions. Yes I agree that concreteness and objectives do drive decision making in these industries; however working for a financial institution, I have witnessed that our executives have become more aware of their emotional intelligence. Is that innate to their role and function? No, traditionally it may not be the case but our executives have been awaken to the importance of not only their emotional intelligence but the downstream impact of how their adoption permeates throughout our organization.
Going beyond the mechanics, Anhedonia is a more detached perspective on life. He writes“Anhedonics feel a pervasive sense of apathy and a loss of interest in (and withdrawal from) all regular and formerly pleasurable activities; they’re all but dead inside. They’re unwilling to seek out new sensations, they have diminished attentional function, and they lack a zest for life.”[2] Despite the horrific reality of this discussion, there is good news! Being a “dead fish” as he would call it is not a hopeless diagnosis. Resurrecting dead leaders can occur but it will involve two things: a sense of flow and small wins. As sense of flow provides a challenge which gives the leader an opportunity to grow and learn. Small wins invigorate the leader because it allows for small milestones and goals to be set. With implementation of these goals they enable not only feedback but accomplishment as the full process unfolds. I have found in my own work experience that I work best when I am fully challenged. I am a goal setter and I encourage my team as we move forward to not just celebrate the larger accomplishments but to take joy in the small wins. As a team it is the small wins the fuel the motivation to keep everyone angaged and moving forward.
While these diagnosis are not something I would assert for all leaders who may appear to lack a zest or those who are more analytical and strategic in nature, I wonder how many fall in this bucket and are unaware? The pressures of leadership do not always give way to growth and personal development (although they should!). The chase for success can cause a leader to forsake connections with family and friends in order to reach their goal. This in my opinion should not be overlooked nor an options that is accepted or encouraged. Kets De Vries would assert that a lack of balance between home and professional life will eventually take its toll on the leader. Maintaining that balance is important. The path to revitalizing a “dead fish” is not simple. It requires an awareness and awakening that invokes transformation. Some will follow the status quo but for those who seek to move beyond it and apply the effort to change, there is hope for those enterprises to grow and flourish under their leadership.
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[1] Kets de Vries, Manfred F. R, The leadership mystique (Fontainebleau, France: INSEAD, 1994), 93.
[2] Ibid, 97.
About the Author
Christal Jenkins Tanks
8 responses to “Dead from Within”
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Christal, These big words caught my attention too. Alexithymia and Anhedonia were big names for emotionally shut down individuals with a lack of purpose and passion. Yes, the key for all good leaders and humans needing to recover from these disorders: “Maintaining that balance is important” between home and work life. Simply stated yet not easy to do. Anything you would suggest for people to keep this balance?
Honestly, I think it has more to do with the awareness that family and home life is just as a priority as our work. I also believe that the awareness can assist in setting boundaries that aid in the work life balance. It is a daily practice and isnt something I believe can be mastered because life is not static but dynamic . It is always evolving and so it requires presence and consistent awareness of change.
Right, Christal, these leaders can be ‘resurrected’. I really enjoyed the book and there were so many things to reflect on. I found that I enjoyed quizzing myself to see where I fit.
But I also wondered how we get leaders to WANT to change? So many think that everything is just fine. And anyway, they are the leader and you are just the errand girl, so how can you talk to them?
Thankfully, we have the Holy Spirit and a loving God and we can pray!!! God is still in the heart-changing business.
Mary I think the will to change has to do with circumstance and the personality of the leader. Many leaders will settle for the social acceptable definition of a leader and never want to evolve. However, there are those who do seek to change. For those leaders, I believe that there needs to be support as to how they move forward into something new. Redefining their leadership role will not happen overnight but it can happen over time.
“I have witnessed that our executives have become more aware of their emotional intelligence.”
I love hearing this, Christal! Knowing what understanding my own emotional intelligence has done for both my work and home lives I am a huge proponent of emotional intelligence work regardless of the type of business community involved. How do you see this awareness changing the dynamics of banking?
Honestly, I am not sure how it will impact banking as a whole. As you know, there are financial institutions who are not exemplifying these traits discussed in his book. I do applaud our leadership because they are willing to admit they do not know it all. They are committed to the process and reach out to us to make sure the engagement is consistent as we evolve and grow. I do hope that one day our leadership can be the pioneers within the industry to model what this can look like. For now, I think our leaders are focused on ensuring that our organization is transformed and continues to move forward in a new direction.
“The chase for success can cause a leader to forsake connections with family and friends in order to reach their goal”
The chase for success without a plan including the family dynamics will cause major issues for all. Many leaders forget to include all that are affected by their decision. In church leadership as a Pastor, many decisions will affect the family. i.e. time, focus
Christal, what an important point: “our executives have been awaken to the importance of not only their emotional intelligence but the downstream impact of how their adoption permeates throughout our organization.” The downstream impact of a leader is huge and impacts the whole organization. Friedman calls it “presence” and you illustrated well with your example. Eventually, all endeavors involve people—banking, finances, manufacturing, legal, energy, technology, utilities, telecom, every market sector and non-profit sector involves people. Ergo the need for leaders in every sector to be healthy emotionally. Enjoyed your post.