Cultural Intelligence, or How to Build a House
When Kip and I moved to Kenya to work among the Turkana, we spent our first 12 months living in the remote village of Kangarisae, learning the language and culture of Turkana. It was in that little village where we first built relationships—with our language helper, the church leaders, and the elders—men and women—in the community. Without a formal language school, we followed a learning-driven language learning methodology, slowly learning like children. We put ourselves in a humble position of relying on the community to help us figure out angajep ngaturkana (the Turkana tongue). We allowed ourselves to be laughed at frequently. For instance, Kip once easily confused the words for “I am sleepy” (his intended phrase) with “I am hairy.” The Turkana got a kick out of that mistake because it was true. I joined some women in building a house. (Yep, Turkana women are amazing; they build their own houses.) They built the frame from edume branches, and as they assembled the palm leaf siding, relegated me to the children’s task of tying thin palm branches together, correcting me as I got the process wrong. (Apparently there is a right way and a wrong way to tie palm branches—who knew?). It was quite humbling.
After those first twelve months, our family, missionary team and church leaders located a community for us to serve in, Loupwala, and later, Kosikiria. Throughout our years in Turkana, while our full-time focused language and culture study time ended, we remained learners of the language and the people. While we had good relationships with many Turkana, the work was difficult and we still stumbled with cultural expectations. For instance, while we often ate with Turkana, it was usually in their homes or in large group gatherings. Many years into our time there, someone told us that we were stingy because we didn’t have many Turkana in our home. (Stingy? I initially thought. Stingy? How much have we given to the community??) But they were right; much chagrined, we began inviting church leaders and friends in for meals with our family.
As I read through David Livermore’s Leading with Cultural Intelligence, I felt, in many ways, as if I were walking into an Anthropology 101 or Introduction to Culture class. What he argues is important, and is part of the rhythm of how I engage any new context. Even here in the States, stepping into a new ministry or new situation, I spend a significant amount of time at the beginning listening and learning, asking questions and mostly being silent. Humbly sitting as a student of a place allows time to understand how things work. How are decisions made, and by whom? How is conflict dealt with? What’s the concept of time here? (One church I served in even has their own title for event fluidity—“Hopwood time”—after the name of the church— when event start times were generally more “suggestions”).
Like Kip’s and my willingness to make mistakes and step into the role of a student of the culture, Livermore agrees, “our mistakes can be one of the greatest ways to grow our cultural intelligence” and “provides an opportunity for personal and professional growth.”[1] Livermore recognizes that many of us pop in and out of different cultural interactions. Yet the process of sitting as a humble learner remains the same, whether for a long-term relationship or a short interaction. Respecting and learning from those whom we interact with is key to building positive relationships.
[1] David Livermore, Leading with Cultural Intelligence (New York, AMACOM, 2010), 35.
3 responses to “Cultural Intelligence, or How to Build a House”
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I was really looking forward to your insight on this book, and you did not disappoint, Katy! Thank you for bringing your experience and unique perspective to us regarding cultural intelligence. It seems the recurring thread here is humility and grace – our humility and the grace those of other cultures offer us as we stumble forward.
Katy, I knew your post would be really good!! As I was reading the book I kept thinking about you. Your stories illustrate perfectly one of the things I like best about the book – when we meet with people from other cultures we should be willing to be humble and learn from them.
Now you get to learn how different a Midwest culture is from California!! God bless you.
Katy great post!!! I enjoyed reading about your experience in Kenya. It was also good that you embraced the culture by inviting people in your home for meals. Livermore talks about food being a means to connecting, fellowshipping and learning.