Missiology Comes Home
My 20th birthday was celebrated in a simple concrete and tile home in Pasig, Metro Manila. Weeks earlier, I boarded a 747 from Nashville to spend my 10-week summer break in the Philippines. My partner and I lived with a Filipino family who adopted us as their own. Our task was simple, serve Pasig Baptist Church in any way that we could. That meant making visits, teaching youth, praying for people, etc. This was the first time that I had left the USA (I do not count the family trip to Niagara Falls). Growing up in a small town in Tennessee, I had virtually no contact with anyone from Asia. Here I was, sitting down to a fabulous birthday meal in my honor. Pancit Canton and Chicken Adobo – my favorites. We ate and ate. I talked with my three younger “brothers” about their day. Lola Pilay, the matriarch of the family who spoke no English, belched with glee as the meal came to a close.
And then, everyone turned and looked at me in silence. All of a sudden, this blissful time of family feasting suddenly felt awkward. I misunderstood the cue and began thanking them so much for the great meal. The silence continued. After a few seconds that seemed like several minutes, my Filipino mom, “Nanay,” stood and began cleaning the table. Everyone quietly left the dining area.
What was I missing? I knew that I must have done something wrong, but I did not have a clue.
Finally, Nanay walked over to talk to me. “Oh,” she said, “I think things must be different in America. In the Philippines, you give presents to your family on your birthday.”
I had so many thoughts and emotions at that moment. I was embarrassed. At the same time, I felt “set up.” How was I supposed to know about this custom that just happens to be the opposite of what happens in my culture?
Even though it was too late to buy gifts, I realized that I did have a little cash. After consulting with Nanay (who ran the plan by Lola Pilay), I said: “Hey guys, in honor of my birthday, I am going to take everyone to the movies.” The boys were excited and we headed off to see “Iron Eagle II” in Makati.
If you talk with missionaries, they all have stories like this. Some are humorous, some are tragic. But relating cross-culturally almost always involves a lot of mistake-making.
I just finished reading Leading with Cultural Intelligence by David Livermore.1 The author’s premise is simple. He believes that leaders can develop the ability to pick up on verbal and non-verbal cues in order to better relate to people from other cultures. While the book seems to be focused on international business situations, the strategies in the book are extremely relevant to missionaries.
When I was in seminary, I took a few classes in missiology. I learned the steps that missionaries took to research a culture in order to develop relationships and share the gospel. In the years to follow, these principles were helpful as I led mission trips to a variety of international destinations.
Yet, as I began to read “Leading with Cultural Intelligence,” I was struck with a thought.
This book is extremely relevant to the church that I serve at in Fort Worth, Texas.
The Dallas / Fort Worth “Metroplex” is one of the most ethnically diverse places in America. The city I live in has thousands of Latino immigrant families, refugees from Asia, Africa, and the Middle East, international students, as well as high-tech engineers and workers in the medical field. In fact, only 11% of the students in the Fort Worth Independent School District identify as “white.”2
On any given Sunday morning at Southcliff Baptist Church, you will meet people from Burma, Columbia, Sri Lanka, Congo, Germany, Nepal, Italy, Philippines, Cameroon, South Korea, Iraq, Taiwan, Malaysia, Serbia, Indonesia, Croatia, Nigeria, Kazakhstan, India, Syria, and Mexico. While the majority of the congregation is Anglo American (i.e. “white”), the sheer number of different countries that Southcliff attenders come from is nothing short of amazing.
As I continued to read through Livermore’s book, the same thought came to my mind. “Our entire church staff needs to understand the principles in this book.” I believe that our church is not alone in this. The ethnic and cultural diversity of the United States is at an all-time high. For example, in Houston, Texas there are around 100 different languages spoken.3
The line between missiology and ecclesiology is blurred. If churches seek to be missional, many of them will reach families who come from more diverse backgrounds. Church leaders who want to become effective at meeting the needs of these families will need to develop cultural intelligence. Reading this book is a great first step in that process.
My Filipino Family – Fely Vito (“Nanay”) is on the right.
1Livermore, David A. Leading with cultural intelligence the real secret to success. New York, NY: American Management Association, 2015.
2HRIS, Inc. “Fort Worth ISD Independent School District.” HAR. Accessed May 26, 2017. http://www.har.com/school_district/fort-worth-isd_220905.
3“General Information.” General Information / Facts and Figures. Accessed May 26, 2017. http://www.houstonisd.org/achievements.
About the Author
Stu Cocanougher
9 responses to “Missiology Comes Home”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Great story and thoughts Stu – we have a custom in Britain that the first person to comment on a blog post receives a gift – it’s very meaningful.
Stu, wonderful illustration and I agree with you that the time is right for churches in the US to understand these principles. Here in Salem, OR folks are shying away from helping refugees. I’m not going to speculate about why. I hope it is just because they don’t really know what to do. But my pastor and I had a talk about this and we agreed – God is bringing a mission field to us. We need to do something.
You have a unique position there; thank you for sharing photos and videos. I do get ‘energized’ like Livermore when I see them.
So, which one are you in that picture?
Stu,
love the story…. and a great connection to our text this well. The line between ecclesiology and missiology is indeed (very) blurred
Just so we are clear – as I will celebrate my birthday with you in South Africa – even though we will be on a different continent, we are Americans…. it is the birthday boy that GETS the presents 🙂
Typical American – unwilling to bend to local and meaningful customs
😀
Stu thanks for the great story of your cultural faux pa. Talk about an awkward moment! These are inevitable when you travel. How can we know these cultural undertones unless we grow up with them? Traveling makes us fast learners in developing our CQ.
Great story Stu! No need for embarrassment, you were savvy enough to at least know that something wasn’t right and then when you got the answer you needed, you adjusted accordingly. The ability to do that cannot be learned in a book. It an attitude of the heart. At that very moment, you became a part of that families history, and they yours. They’re still telling that story and so are you. That’s the incarnational model. Great job Stu!
I love this story, Stu. Like you I found this book very relevant for embracing different cultures here at home. The greatest thing I have learned from other cultures (and people within my own) is to never assume I know where they have been, what they have seen, or how they feel. Like Jim said in his post, humility is key. I think you either bring it with you, or cross-cultural encounters builds it into you!
Stu I appreate your transparancy! you stated that “If churches seek to be missional, many of them will reach families who come from more diverse backgrounds. Church leaders who want to become effective at meeting the needs of these families will need to develop cultural intelligence.” A church today has to strive to be all emcompassing. Their approach to missionalogy is just as important as how they engage in CQ.