Team Style Leadership for Parent’s Night Out
Knowing that this post will put me on the hot seat has activated all the adrenaline and dopamine we’ve been talking about the past few weeks. It’s been a joy to reflect and learn together about leadership over the past few months with my colleagues, and finishing the term with Peter Northouse’s book, “Leadership Theory and Practice” is a grand finale.
Northouse is a renowned scholar in the field of leadership studies. He is a professor emeritus of communication at Western Michigan University and specializes in leadership and communication. His book explores various leadership theories, their advantages and disadvantages, and how these various leadership approaches can be used in a real-world context. This book will be a great reference book for leadership moving forward. The consistent chapter structure and opportunity for questions and assessment will lend itself well to a tool I can use with the teams I lead and teach.
As I inspected the book and its contents, I was drawn to the “Behavioral Approach” to Leadership from Northouse’s text. I found a great resource online of Dr. Northouse explaining the book and different styles.[1] While he won’t win an Emmy, Northouse defines success of a Behavior Approach as someone who has, “effective task behavior and effective relationship behavior.” This is a style that I consistently employ and have utilized often in my role as a local church pastor. This style is familiar to me because of the models that I’ve seen and sought to emulate. This style is important because it has a focus on the behavior of the leader. Ruth Haley Barton says, “Truly, the best thing any of us have to bring to leadership is our own transforming selves.”[2] It is also the approach I utilize often because of the way that Systems Theory and Edwin Friedman’s “Failure of Nerve.”[3] Friedman’s premise is that a leader’s ability to maintain a non-anxious presence is the most influential gift they can give to the organizations and systems they lead. Desiring then, to lead in such a way that my behavior positively impacts and empowers people around me, led me to explore this style further.
This approach identifies two different behaviors: Task Behaviors (which help group members achieve goals) and Relationship Behaviors (help group members feel comfortable with themselves and foster good relationships). I often feel the tension between tasks and relationships as a local church pastor, in how I prioritize my time and how I ought to lead the various teams I’m responsible for. I try to utilize schedule and planning for “People Time” and “Task Time” to balance these responsibilities, but when interruptions or changes occur, I can sense irritation and frustration rising within me.
What was new to me was the Leadership or “Managerial” Grid, developed by Blake and Mouton in 1966. This grid will be a useful tool for reflection. It’s a great reminder of the leader that I am working towards becoming. Blake and Mouton suggest the “Team Leader” style is most effective in promoting both the production of tasks and relationships with people. They state that Team Style leaders “prioritize collaboration, open communication, and employee development to achieve organizational goals. They create a positive work environment where individuals feel empowered, motivated, and engaged.”[4] While that seems like a challenging task, it resonates with me and fits well with a tool we’ve been utilizing with our teams in our church for a decade.
For the past ten years we’ve used Strengths Based Leadership: Great Leaders, Teams, and Why People Follow.”[5] It is a practical guide grounded in the research of the Gallup Organization, particularly focusing on Strengths-based Development. The book provides insights into how leaders can leverage their strengths and those of their teams to achieve better outcomes. The premise is that each leader is most effective, and finds the most fulfillment in their role, when they are operating out of their strengths. There are different 34 themes or strengths and most leaders have a ‘top 5’ that are unique to individuals and categorized in such a way that team members can assess themselves and see how they uniquely fulfill the four main functions of a leader.[6]
This tool has been invaluable to our team as a way to cultivate the Team Style that Blake and Mouton outline and remember that each of us, while called to lead towards many of the same goals, get there in different ways. And it takes each of us, collaborating to get to the best outcome for our teams and our church.
So how does this Team Style practically express itself? This upcoming Friday, our church is hosting one of our biggest outreach events of the year. A holiday themed “Parent’s Night Out” where parents can drop their kids off for free at our church and have some time to themselves. We have a great time with the kids in our church building, playing games, crafts and activities (even an inflatable bounce house), followed by a visit from Santa. We’ve been doing this event for the past four years and I’ve been the core leader of the event. But now, we have a new Kid Ministry director who will be taking over the event, as well as college interns and high school students learning leadership skills at the event. This will be a great opportunity to practice the balance between tasks and relationships, as each leader will have relationships to manage and tasks to perform. But each leader will do so in different ways, based on the strengths or themes that God has given them. Our awareness as a team of our strengths and differences (particularly of the kid min director I’m handing the event off to) will assist me in empowering them to lead the event in the future. This will require administration and planning before the event, communication with volunteers and this emerging leader, and being present at the event in such a way that models healthy leadership but also creates space for them to ‘make it their own’ as I hand over this impactful event to someone else.
Northouse’s practical insights, as well as the many other great texts from our course, have made a difference in my real world of leadership, and I am grateful.
[1] Northouse on Leadership | Online Resources
[2] Barton, R. Ruth. 2006. Sacred Rhythms: Arranging Our Lives for Spiritual Transformation. Downers Grove, Ill: InterVarsity Press.
[3] Friedman, Edwin H., Margaret M. Treadwell, and Edward W. Beal. 2017. A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. 10th anniversary revised edition. New York: Church Publishing.
[4] Blake and Mouton’s Managerial Grid – Organizational Behavior
[5] Rath, Tom, and Barry Conchie, eds. 2011. Strengths Based Leadership: Great Leaders, Teams, and Why People Follow. New York: Gallup Press.
[6] While not germane to my post, the four functions of a leader are worth considering in light of our reflections on leadership. Rath and and Conchie suggest that any leader must do four things: “Build Trust, Provide Stability, Show Compassion and Create Hope.” Each leader will do those things in unique ways based on their assessed strengths, but those four practices have also been foundational to our team and leadership development in our church. (Rath and Conchie, Strengths Based Leadership, page 82-92)
About the Author
Ryan Thorson
Follower of Jesus. Husband. Father. Pastor. Coach. I am passionate about helping people discover the gift of Sabbath and slow down spirituality in the context of our busy world.15 responses to “Team Style Leadership for Parent’s Night Out”
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Hi Ryan, I can relate to the tension between task behaviors and people’s behaviors. I am curious about what side you tend to lean towards and what practical thing helps you find the balance. Well done on your “handoff” of the parents’ night off. It is not easy to hand things over. You have done an excellent job modeling how to do that well.
PS I don’t think you checked the DLGP03 box when you posted as your post didn’t come up under that link. (I did that last week!)
Thanks for the heads up, and your question Kari. I have a hard time knowing which side I lean towards. Probably the people side, because I’m an extrovert and love leading people and being a part of their lives. The tasks are usually do are in response to the ways I perceive that I can help others. What’s funny is that I’m also a list person and love checking things off that list.
Hi Ryan, I hope your Parents’ Night Out is a great success but more than that, I hope you have a sense of joy as you watch this program thrive with the emerging leaders. What is the hardest part for you in turning over a project to others? P.S. I can relate to setting aside time for, say, desk work and having someone knock on the door asking to talk. The relationship usually wins for importance but the frustration in still needing to get the paperwork done exists in the tension. Are you able to set any boundaries for either time and frequency? I find that when I really need to get paperwork done, working from home is my best friend.
Thanks Diane. Awww…boundaries. As a recovering people pleaser, I can really struggle with keeping boundaries when I perceive a need in someone’s life that I care about. This can cause me to overfunction or make assumptions about what’s really needed. I’m learning to utilize my calendar, as well as a ‘theme’ for each day of the week to give myself permission for days that are more people oriented vs. days that are more task oriented, while still trying to be open to interruptions. I’m also trying to learn how to discern if its a Holy Spirit interruption or a distraction, but that difference is a challenge sometimes to figure out.
I love that outreach plan Ryan! Cool idea.
I’m wondering which of the strengths and skills you feel are in your sweet spot, and where do they manifest most easily?
Thanks Debbie. My top strengthfinder strengths are Futuristic, Strategic and Input. This means that I like to look to the future and be strategic with input I’ve received. It enables me to see that most likely path forward and know how to get there. Its a useful role on a team and where I thrive the most.
Ryan, I can relate to the dopamine rush of being on the hot seat. You’re going to do great.
I can appreciate that each person naturally gravitates toward a particular approach, your’s being the behavioral style. What approach might you need to explore more in this next season of ministry as you consider the vision, your people, and context?
Thanks Graham! The Path-Goal theory looked interesting. It fits with our program’s ‘map-making’ metaphor and seems relational and empowering to walk with people through to their goal. I’m wanting to explore in relationship to my NPO project as well.
Ryan,
Tomorrow is the big day. I hope that it goes well, and I appreciate your church offering that service. I’m trying to discern if you already handed this off or are still helping out this year. Regardless, some ministries/organizations have the leader totally step away when something has been handed off. For example, I know that at some churches when a pastor retires, they are required to not attend church there for a period of time, (6 months rings a bell) so that the new leadership can take full ownership. I know you are simply handing off an event, but is there any benefit to your not being in attendance?
Thanks Jeff! Great questions.
The plan for tomorrow night is that I’ll be there at the beginning and end, but am actually leaving to attend my daughter’s band concert. This will be a good test for the event in February that I will not be present at.
We’ll see how this goes…
Ryan,
Good job on your post, especially knowing you are going to be on the hotseat. I am sure that I will end up asking questions so I’ll hold off on my question at this time:)
I’ll save my response to your question until then too 🙂
Hi Ryan, I can empathize with the tension between a concern for people and a concern for tasks. I wish we could all balance both with perfection.
I often wonder how Jesus could do this. In Matthew 20, Jesus is leaving Jericho and heading to Passover (concern for the task) when two blind men stop him to heal them (concern for the people). I love that Jesus stopped, even when the crowds were trying to silence the blind men. I pray for a wonderful event, the handover, and that God will grant you with the wisdom to discern when to have a concern for the task and when to have a concern for the people.
Yes Christy. I think I’m trying to discern the difference between a Holy Spirit interruption and a distraction. Jesus seemed to know which was which, I think through His relationship with the Father and Spirit. The prayer of examen has also been a helpful tool for me in learning (and mostly unlearning) my responses to interruptions.
Hey Ryan! I enjoyed your post and look forward to hearing more from the hotseat. But can you tell me- How do you ensure that the balance between task completion and relationship-building remains effective when empowering new leaders, particularly during high-stakes events like the “Parent’s Night Out”?