The Stages of a Good Leader
Leaders are formed and not appointed. Simon Walker’s Undefended Leader addresses in detail how to rediscover leadership formation from the inside out. Using research and history as a backdrop, he highlights how a leader overcomes the battles within as the blueprint for success.
Using a front stage/backstage analogy, Walker highlights how superior leaders are by gaining victory within themselves. As the front stage is the place of performance, he unpacks the back stage as a messy place, however to my appreciation, he also weaves together the positive benefits of being backstage. “it is also the place where the script is written, learnt, and rehearsed. Here new ideas are generated and tried out.”[1] The front stage/backstage conflict is real, and using performance as an example, I am reminiscent of my own personal experience.
It was a sold-out performance. A gospel concert with thousands of people in attendance. Set to perform a major female gospel artist. This evening, I was called upon to be the lead in her security detail, which included seeing her on and off stage. Like the movie The Bodyguard, I had a Kevin Costner-like assignment. Weaving through from the back area, escorting her through people and then on and off the stage.
For one hour, I watched firsthand this woman pour her all on stage, singing, worshipping, exhorting, and glorifying God. The Holy Spirit used her to minister to this audience in a profound way as souls were saved and lives impacted. As she was finishing her set and coming down the steps off the stage, she grabbed my hand. As we were walking hand in hand through the backstage crowd and hallways and back to her dressing room she was breathing heavy, gasping all the while. When we returned to the dressing room backstage, she was frantically asking for water. Finally composing herself after drinking the water, she said I could not take the lights. The reason she could not take the lights was due to a preexisting health condition.
She was performing and hiding at the same time. When I meet leaders, I am not always sold on the front side; rather, my internal curiosity meter sometimes peaks to ask, with all of the good that we see of a person, place, or thing, what are they hiding backstage? We all are accustomed to seeing the good but sometimes not the challenges, which can help give us a total appreciation of the full picture.
As a former clergyman, I am sure these experiences are nothing new to Simon Walker, whose insights bring this to the forefront, adding much-needed heft to address the personal and hidden side of leadership. In helping us understand the concept of a Defended Self, Walker touches upon the trust factor and how it impacts our leadership Ego and outlines four types of Ego responses in locating its roots they are:
- The Shaping Leadership Ego
- The Acting Leadership Ego
- The Defining Leadership Ego
- The Defending Leadership Ego
Walker discusses when leading out of where you are the challenges of how Definers trust in themselves through performance but makes a powerful distinction between before performance and success. “improving performance is not the same as achieving success…What is achieved is the avoidance of failure.”[2]
I once heard the definition for Ego as E dging G od O ut. This has stuck with me since then. But putting Ego aside, literally and figuratively, I have heard leaders mention how they feel like they are “on stage” every day of their lives and have succumbed to becoming performance-driven. This quote made me reflect on how many people are out here performing simply to avoid failure.
Walker also speaks about the Power to Fail as a secret to The Undefended leader. Among the things he highlights is the power of social foundations on the back stage. “Just as a building needs to have strong, deep stable foundations hidden away from underneath it, the consolidation of strong consolidating patterns…is essential to give it stability.”[3]
One of the conclusions he reaches also states that Western society has undermined its social foundation is spot on. Proverbs reminds us that “where there is no guidance, a nation falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”(Proverbs 11:14, NRSV). There is a huge void as trust has eroded on every side, leaving people to themselves at pivotal points and left to trusting ourselves. Self-defense is antithetical to the objectives of the Undefended leader. What resonates with me is how we as community can set a better stage by being a social foundation. Yaschau Mounk argues how identity has caused isolation, and to Mounk’s point, with the collapse of collective social foundations, many are left to self-identify.
My key takeaway from this writing is a better awareness on the front and back stage of life. I enjoyed this reading and feels like there is helpful route towards becoming an undefended leader. I wish I had more time to unpack all of Walker’s offerings but I also gained a more complete understanding of his writing during his lecture in Oxford which was also outstanding.
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[1)Simon P Walker, The Undefended Leader (Carlisle: Piquant), 2010. 31.
About the Author
Daren Jaime
12 responses to “The Stages of a Good Leader”
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Daren,
Thanks for your post and reflections.
How do you think leaders can be helped who are so performance driven that they feel they are constantly on stage? At some point they will simply burnout. I think we have seen this a lot with many Christian leaders who tend to fall off of the high pedestal we put them on.
Hey, Adam, burnout is real. Using the stage metaphorically, we are supposed to be the best supporting actor as Jesus takes center stage. We place a lot on us and we have set a high bar due to external expectations. We tend to overcompensate, and setting some hard-line boundaries can improve our performance-driven proclivities. Learning to manage expectations and not feed into our congregations/ crowds and outside influences is a great start.
Daren,
Holy Cow! How many hats do you wear? You’re a broadcast journalist, pastor, and security detail!
Oooh… I love the mnemonic for ego. I’m going to use that.
Of the four leadership egos Simon Walker mentions, which one do you most closely resemble or resonate with? And why?
Hey Daren,
I agree with everything you wrote and loved your key takeaway. (It’s a great story about being a bodyguard. Next time I need one, I know who to call!)
This popped in my head, and I would love to hear your answer… How could the “front stage”/”back stage” metaphor apply to social media or online presence?
Hey Chris. Being honest in our posting and conscious in our posting can be a difference maker.think about the selfies we take. We will take % just to get the right one. When we are consumed by painting a picture or creating a narrative we are forced to keep up with it. People see the glory but they don’t know the real story.
Many make the sad mistake of trying to keep up an image their lives don’t resemble but use social media as a means to perform and embellish. Remaianing honest and avoiding the temptation to gain likes, shares and followers could be a great first start..
Thanks for this Daren. I love the story you share about the singer and you as the bodyguard. 🙂
I’m wondering where in your life you feel the tension between front and back stage?
Hi Debbie, The tension is found in just being vulnerable. You try to avoid familiarity because it breeds contempt. The backstage is a place of imperfections, and it is liberating to sometimes display them and put them out there. The problem is that too many people have become burned, violated and subsequently isolated as a result. We must be true to ourselves as well as others, and sometimes, achieving this is a delicate balance.
Hi Daren,
Thanks for your post. I appreciate that you called out the benefits of backstage. How do you find your use of ‘backstage’ has changed in the past five years?
Julie great question. Being free in what I don’t know and the ability to learn to be free when I am wrong stick out. I feel like my last few years have been great breaking me down from what I know to accepting there are some things where I have no knowledge. If a mistake or wrong happens as a result, I deal with the
consequences of it rather than avoiding it.
Daren, I appreciated your thoughts concerning the front and back stages. In my life overseas, I feel like Africa is my back stage and the United States is where I have to perform on the front stage. It can be exhausting and it feels like a very odd dynamic. You mention Walker’s ideas on the power of stable foundations on the back stage. How have you found this to be true or not true in your leadership context?
Hi Elysse
Yes, stable foundations are pivotal to leadership success. Having someone to keep you grounded and mentor you through mistakes and successes is key. I feel like no matter where I am in my leadership or personal journey, I have a core group of people to hold me together.
As you mentioned, being home in the US, you can feel the pressure, but it is helpful to find in the place where you are “on” at least 1 or 2 people who can authentically speak into your life.
Hi Jamie, this is a very interesting read. I like the breaking down of the EGO. I know for sure I will always remember the ‘Edging God Out’ whenever I come across this word. Thank you.