The Musings of a White, Straight, Upper Class, Middle-Aged Male
My name is John. I identify as a white, straight, upper class, middle-aged male.
Therefore, I will just shut up now.
Of course, I jest. I’m just kidding.
But, I do have to be honest: over the last handful of years I have more than occasionally felt like I just need to shut my mouth, about, well, everything. I’ve had the sense that who I am, and what I have to say, is no longer is welcome. And I get it. Or maybe I actually don’t. I’m not sure anymore what I’m suppose to get, think or feel about the matter.
In my minds eye, and with my tongue firmly in my cheek, I can see segments of the population rubbing two fingers together, playing a sad song on an imaginary violin, while I eat my cheese and drink my whine. I realize how little I have to complain about, how fortunate I have been, and what a privileged life I’ve, well, been privileged to live. I’m earnestly trying to have a deeper understanding of the pain and marginalization felt by those that are not like me (ie: not white, not straight, etc), and additionally, I’m trying to be a part of the solution, rather than exasberating the problem of oppression and inequality (or as I now understand it to be called: inequity).
Which is why I approached Yascha Mounk’s The Identity Trap with interest and a tinge of hopefulness. Yet, as a white, straight, upper class, middle-aged male, I also found those feelings to be laced with, shall I say, apprehension, not knowing if I was going to receive a 400-page tongue-lashing. Mind you, I’m not opposed to constructive criticism, nor immune to painful castigation. I pastor a large church, for crying out loud. Enough said.
Actually, scratch that, I do have more to say, and I have, admittedly, cried out loud over these matters.
In June of 2020 I made this tear-filled statement to our congregation: The murder of George Floyd has re-opened wounds in the United States that have never fully healed and tragically continue to be ripped open again, and again, and again. Sadly this wound has actually always been open for most people of color. We read the headlines over these past weeks and many of us are rightfully sad and angry. Some are confused and others don’t fully understand. There is a lot happening around our country, and within our city right now.
One of the original sins of our nation is racism. And I will be clear on this: Racism is Sin. Full stop. Period. End of story.
There is absolutely zero justification for mistreating someone because of the color of their skin. And while it is true that violence as a response to racism and murder is wrong, and while it’s also true that the majority of those in law enforcement are good and commendable people, right now friends, I am far more interested in weeping with those that weep, and repenting for my own responsibly in contributing to a broken system as a privileged upper-middle-class, middle-aged white man. And, as the pastor of this church, I want to call us to humbly listen and diligently learn about what we don’t fully understand, and do our best to honor, and love people like Jesus.
We don’t have all the answers, and we’re not gonna get it right all the time, but we can stand with our sisters and brothers of color, and we can speak out against racial injustice in all its forms, and we can represent Jesus, who came to break the dividing wall between ethnicities.
Let’s be praying together for our country and our communities. And let our prayers move us to action…not short-lived action, or just when another video goes viral. But action that is deep, intentional, and compassionate. It’s time.
That statement received widespread affirmation, and yet there was a vocal minority (emphasis on minority…a very small group of people) that concluded I don’t value the police. I was called woke and a Marxist. I was criticized for posting a black box on my Instagram feed. There was no BLM hashtag or anything, just the phrase: “Made in the Image of God. Known. Loved.” Wow. Who would have thought that would be so controversial?!?
So, yah, I’m a bit jittery. Call it PTSD. Call it touching a hot stove once, and never touching it again, hot or COLD. With some trepidation I read all 400-pages of The Identity Trap, and was pleasantly surprised to discover an intellectually robust approach to things I had been struggling through over last few years. Mounk helped me not feel so blasted crazy regarding topics such as free speech, cultural appropriation, systemic racism, and identity politics. As important as it is for me to understand that I have always been in a position of power, and I will never fully get what it means to be a minority, I am not the devil incarnate, just because I am a white, straight, upper class, middle-aged male.
I’m not (the devil, that is).
The Identity Trap helped me realize that. Mounk didn’t give me a tongue-lashing, but rather a comprehensive (not quippy tweets) and clear (not muddled with bias and hearsay) philosophical framework for understanding our current realities. I appreciate how Mounk believes there is a “better way of expressing what is wrong” (Mounk, 156) than to kowtow to “identity synthesis” which endeavors to throw the baby out with the bathwater…along with the tub, the bathroom…and the parent/caregiver.
What a shame. I have to believe there is a better way.
But what do I know? I’m just a white, straight, upper class, middle-aged male.
About the Author
John Fehlen
John Fehlen is currently the Lead Pastor of West Salem Foursquare Church. Prior to that he served at churches in Washington and California. A graduate of Life Pacific University in San Dimas, CA in Pastoral Ministry, and Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, CA with a Masters in Leadership and Spirituality. He and his wife Denise have four grown children and four grandchildren. John is the author of “Intentional Impressions," a book for fathers and their sons, "Don't Give Up: Encouragement for Weary Souls in Challenging Times," a book for pastoral leaders, and "The Way I See You," a children's book. You can connect with John on Instagram (@johnfehlen) as well as on his blog (johnfehlen.com).11 responses to “The Musings of a White, Straight, Upper Class, Middle-Aged Male”
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Um…. seriously John (and anyone reading this post) I DID NOT READ YOUR POST BEFORE I WROTE MINE.
It finally happened: Our too-close-academic-personal-and-ministry-worlds finally collided.
I guess that’s all I got to say about that. 🙂
You and I have been cross-pollinating life and ministry for over 30 years. It’s no surprise that we would come to similar conclusions as well as approach blogs, sermons, decision-making and leadership activity in similar ways.
In the same way that pet owners and their pets start to look alike over time (perhaps you’ve seen those crazy memes), it appears as if you are looking more and more like me, you know…”ridiculously good-looking.”
John~
You wrote:
“The Identity Trap helped me realize that. Mounk didn’t give me a tongue-lashing, but rather a comprehensive (not quippy tweets) and clear (not muddled with bias and hearsay) philosophical framework for understanding our current realities.”
Might you be willing to share one current reality Mounk shed light on for you as you read?
I don’t know if it’s a “current reality” or a point of ongoing learning, but in response to your question, I would say that Mounk has reinforced the subtlety and nuance that is so important, nah, REQUIRED, for leadership (and all relationships for that matter) in these days. It’s rarely one or the other, or black and white, but rather there are gray areas that have to be navigated.
Brilliant. (Your thoughts/blogpost)
You wrote, “I’m just a white, straight, upper class, middle-aged male.”
I’m a Chinese/Filipino (Hawaiian born), lower to middle class, old guy who has become confused. I used to be called oriental, now my niece says NO I am Asian.
I used to believe I was green (23 years in the Army) and then I became a missionary (go figure). Now I am a burned out teacher and have returned to the Academic fold, unemployed, but launching a missions into Ukraine.
If I worry to much about my identity outside of Christ I head for disaster.
I am using Mounk/Fukuyama as the digestive juices for my NPO on immigration. Do I need to build a bridge between those are against or for immigration? Or do I focus on empowering those who want to help newcomers while avoiding the political debate….
Hmmmm…I think that is all the energy I have time for.
Shalom….Shalom…
What I love about our doctoral degree is the interactions that I have with wonderful folks like you Russell. And the way in which I am exposed to readings and thoughts from authors and speakers that are different than me.
And you are so right about rooting our identity in that of Christ. My blog post was a playful (albeit pointed) jab at the various ways in which people “identify.” I too prefer to center my identity in the person and ministry of Jesus. Amen to that brother!
Hey John,
Let me write a real response (other than the disclaimer that I didn’t copy you!).
I’m wondering as I read your post how you would pastorally approach people caught in identity synthesis? When you say “there is a better way forward”, what in a nutshell would be one way to express that better way (or a part of it)?
I would refer you to Russell’s response to my post when he said “If I worry to much about my identity outside of Christ I head for disaster.” My “job” as a pastor is to continually point people to the person of Jesus and the centrality of his life in our life.
I love reminding folks that first and foremost we are children of the Lord. That identity than becomes the pathway for intentionality in the the outworking of how we behave, interact, and express ourselves.
John, I agree that Mounk (an author who I had never heard of until last month, but became intrigued once I saw some of the names that endorsed the book, as it seems there is a growing “third way” — probably those who, like Mounk, are advocating for philosophical liberalism and creating entirely new educational or associational endeavors in the U.S. and Europe, and I’ll be interested to see how some of these alternatives play out in the future) indeed gave a thoroughly “comprehensive” and “clear” framework. I found him able to unpack some things that I’ve honestly had difficulty processing (and I still have questions).
I’m curious. In your context as a large church pastor, what stands out to you as different today among your congregants compared to what you and the congregation experienced at the time you wrote your letter?
Appreciate the honest posts John, what a complicated and explosive subject this can be, I appreciate what you wrote here:
“I’m earnestly trying to have a deeper understanding of the pain and marginalization felt by those that are not like me (ie: not white, not straight, etc), and additionally, I’m trying to be a part of the solution, rather than exasperating the problem of oppression and inequality (or as I now understand it to be called: inequity).”
Well said, this has to be all of our mindsets for change to come. I think we all have a part as humans. I know it goes beyond white men and other minorities, even though I know there is a long history with this one and much to heal, but men need to listen to women, adults need to listen to children, bosses need to hear the people in the trenches, non-disabled must listen more to the disabled, the mentally healthy have to better understand the mentally unhealthy, Americans born on American soil to immigrants (Russell does a great job with this one), etc. Thanks for your posts and for being intentional with making a difference with your position of influence my friend.
I appreciate your musings! I think everything you said about being a person of privilege was right, and this book as made me wonder how do we also, in this case, help white, cis-gendered men rejoin the cause in a safe way? The anti-“woke” seem to be part of what I addressed in my blog, people who are experiencing grief of loss of power? privilege? having a seat at the table? What if there was opportunity to name grief and still call out the fact that they had these things was due to institutional, cultural, familial inheritances? I wonder if grief was acknowledged and given space if there would be less resistence to losing the power? or understanding why? I don’t know, but I love that you read it cover to cover, and I always know I can read your blogs and get a fair assessment of our books:)