The Many Colors of Emotion
I often have discussions with my colleagues concerning leadership and emotional function or emotional processes. More than a few of my colleague would argue that there is no place for emotion in leadership. Leadership, they argue, should be a logical almost mathematical cognitive process in which the best decisions are made based on the data and information at hand, outside of any emotional attachment. In this paradigm, leaders should make the decisions based on what is best for the organization. Those impacted by the decision will just have to get over it and get on board or get off the bus! [1] The logic of this argument usually goes out the door when a decision doesn’t go the leader’s way resulting in heated exchanges that remove the cloak from hidden or even buried emotions exposing the depth at which emotions flow in the leadership process and the impact they have on the leader and those being led. Kets de Vries posits that leading is a human enterprise and therefore leadership is all about emotions, of both the leader and of those they lead.
For this reason, I appreciate The Leadership Mystique, as it focuses on the emotionally healthy leader and the good that they can do for people and for an organization. Although the thought is not new to me, the application in the context of leadership is refreshing and illuminating. Three concepts are especially applicable to my leadership situation. The first is the ability to express emotions in a constructive manner; second, the ability to delineate the actual work of a leader; finally, the importance execution plays in leadership—it is, according to Kets de Vries the third leg on which leadership stands. I will introduce each of these with a quote.
“In order to maximize the positive effects and minimize the negative effects of emotions, we need to become adept at recognizing emotions and fluent at expressing them constructively.” [2] To put it succinctly, emotions effect leadership. I can’t tell you how refreshing this is for me to read. In my experience as a leader, I have observed that many leaders are only able to express to one or two emotions. The first being anger, the second disapproval. The sad part is that there may be as many emotions and shades of emotions as there are colors and yet many choose only express themselves in their leadership context with two emotions— anger and disapproval.
It is difficult to paint a picture with only two solid colors and one shade with the same intensity and expression as with a full range of colors and shades. It’s even harder to be a leader who can sense and express only two emotions. Many times I have wished for a chart listing all of the human emotions—like a color chart—so that I could refer to it regularly to see the breath, width, and depth of emotions that humans can feel and express. In a recent search, I found one such chart and attached to this post. It does not show shades or intensity but it does highlight the many emotions a human can experience. Sometimes seeing a list helps to acknowledge first that the emotions existence and second with their existence their availability to express them in a healthy context. This is important for leaders and those who are led.
The second quote answers the difficult question of what is it exactly that leaders do? “To be more precise, they’re figureheads, leaders, liaisons, monitors, disseminators, spokespersons, entrepreneurs, disturbance handlers, resources allocators, and negotiators—all this as need demands.”[3] Painters paint, teachers teach, cooks cook, baseball players play baseball, store owners own stores, brokers broker, and doctors doctor, but what does a missionary do? Even more complicated what does a missionary leader do? From my perspective, it helps to be able to quantify what one does, but it very challenging to do that as a missionary leader.
An emotionally healthy leader is one who sees her work as somewhat limited or in other words able to complete. To face an unlimited task with unquantified boundaries is discouraging at best and demoralizing at worst. It wasn’t until I read Leadership Mystique that I realized others in leadership positions struggle to answer the same question. In citing Mintzberg’s taxonomy, Kets de Vries helps to answer that complicated question for many. The answer is all of the above and more—as the need demands! The demands of the need are huge but Kets de Vries quantification goes a long way to put boundaries around an otherwise unlimited task. That alone is worth the read.
Finally, “competencies and attitudes are the two legs of the global leadership triangle. How these competencies and attitudes are executed is the third leg.”[4] It’s easy to fall into the trap that to be a leader a person needs only to be competent with, for example, time management or even people management. Functioning as a leader is more than just being competent or even having a healthy attitude. It is being able to negotiate all of your resources as well as an understanding of the organization and the people into a healthy execution of decision making. Leadership without proper execution is like a dancer who knows all the right steps but cannot put them together as a whole dance, or the piano player who loves music, knows all the cords, but cannot put them together in a lucid song. Without proper execution, leadership falls short because in the end leadership is not only an emotional process but a relationship with people and an organization. As leaders, we need to work on execution as much as we do competencies and attitude.
For now, or if or when Harari’s predictions of cyborgs come true [5], leadership is still a human endeavor, where a person draws on all their emotions, relationships, and competencies to lead people in a way that benefits them and the organization. To do this, a leader must embrace emotions as a motivating factor in leadership. They must also understand the limits of their complex role and be able to execute their role in such a way that it combines both the competencies and attitudes of the leader and the people they lead into a lucid song or a flowing dance with the many colors and shades of emotions.
- James C. Collins. Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap–and Others Don’t. Kindle ed. New York, NY: HarperBusiness, 2011.
- Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries. The Leadership Mystique: Leading Behavior in the Human Enterprise. 2nd ed. Upper Saddle River, NJ: FT Press, 2009, 31.
- Ibid., 64.
- Ibid., 192.
- Yuval Noah Harari. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind. Kindle ed. New York, NY: Harper, 2015.
About the Author
Jim Sabella
11 responses to “The Many Colors of Emotion”
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Great reminder Jim – “…leadership is not only an emotional process but a relationship with people and an organization.” When we miss the heart of people, we miss the relationship with people. This is such an important concept but I often see this lost on church leaders. How would you suggest teaching church leaders to value the emotional process with people?
Thanks Jenn! I wonder if sometimes people who work so closely with people all the time tend to develop a wall or a distance that keeps them from feeling the emotional rollercoaster that comes from working with people. I think that most people in ministry cannot value the emotional experience with people because they are not trained or do not have the skills necessary to feel and yet maintain a healthy distance. This type of training is often not a part of the seminary experience and should be.
Jim, this is such a beautifully worded post; I love the images of color and dance to reflect our emotions.
I agree that we commonly approach leadership and decision making as if it were all logical– and say we need to “leave emotion out of it.” I’m curious how much inherent gender bias might be involved in that (or vv: that women– who may be more open to including emotion into decision-making– are then dismissed).
Thank you Katy. I hear ya. I used to think that there was gender bias here, but I have served with both men and women and it seems that across the board there is a negative attitude to emotional processing as a leader. It may be just my experience, but there is this thought that emotion does not belong in leadership because it somehow clouds the decision process. Of course, it can, but I’m not convinced that a person can ever leave emotion out of anything they do with passion or conviction. This is one reason I feel strongly about the necessity of leaders being accountable to a larger group for the major decisions they make. There will always be emotion, maybe the larger accountability group can help to process this in a productive way. Act 15: It seems good to the Holy Spirit and to us. My 2 cents!
It is sad, Jim, that the only emotions some leaders show are anger or disapproval.
I have wondered if it is something to do with our culture. Our we supposed to be stoic to prove that we are intelligent? Also, I think Katy’s comment touches on something. How often have you heard that men must lead because they are not all emotional like women?
We definitely need to get back to a balance. I really like Kets De Vries’ book because I think he offers us much help in that area.
Mary, I do think that it has to do with our culture and the environment in which we live. We tend to value logic over intuition i.e. an intelligent person is a logical and unemotional person. Also, we tend to think that emotion is not helpful because often the only one that is expressed in anger. A leader who is able to express appropriate emotions at appropriate times can inspire, encourage and lead.
“To face an unlimited task with unquantified boundaries is discouraging at best and demoralizing at worst.”
That is the nature of ministry. I have never left my office with every task completed. There will always be a disappointed church member in my rear view mirror.
Having said that, I am grateful to the senior pastor at our church who has been able to help me understand how to manage ministry in a healthy way.
You’re right Stu, that is the nature of ministry. I don’t know what a completed “to do” list looks like and my “inbox” is shouting 450 people need a response from you right now!
As for the “disappointed” church member, though they may express their disappointment in you to you, they often are those who feel very out of control and extremely disappointed in themselves. They cannot speak well of others because they are not well themselves. What a blessing it is to have such a great senior pastor. There are many of them out there!
“Finally, “competencies and attitudes are the two legs of the global leadership triangle. How these competencies and attitudes are executed is the third leg.”
I don’t remember this statement. I am glad you brought that out. It is powerful to me.
You spoke on his view of emotions. God in Proverbs says we should possess knowledge and common sense. How does that compare with the authors’ view?
Thanks for your comment Lynda. I think that knowledge and common sense fit well with the author’s view of leadership. I would place them directly within the context of competencies and attitudes. It’s how we use knowledge and common sense (wisdom) that makes or breaks a leader. That’s the third leg of the leadership triangle.
“Leadership without proper execution is like a dancer who knows all the right steps but cannot put them together as a whole dance, or the piano player who loves music, knows all the cords, but cannot put them together in a lucid song. ”
Jim wow so true! Leadership is not about trying emulating the perfect formula or knowing all the right things to say. It requires connection and action. Many leaders are applauded for the former but lack the ability to build relationships. In the end they do not succeed. Thank you for your thoughtful post!