New Discoveries
Make no mistake, despite my relaxed (some would say barely alive) exterior there is a deep desire to change the way people view the world. Having been involved in ministry for about 25 years and now having served in full time ministry for almost fourteen years, that desire has met with both external and internal challenges. Over the course of that time, it has been sobering to realize that the external challenges will never stop. They will change form and they will change intensity but they will never stop. Therefore, for my own sake and for those with whom I share the privilege of leadership, the greater on-going challenge is to learn to address the internal challenges that rise and churn within. It’s a like a journey of discovery and I feel like we’ve just pushed off from shore.
When the great explorers of centuries past, Verrazano, Vespucci and Columbus (Loc. 3431) set out, they didn’t know what they would discover; they went with the purpose of discovery. Not everyone believed in their efforts, in fact many doubted the necessity of their trips based on old and previous patterns of thinking. In particular Christopher Columbus had a capacity to stretch his team beyond their natural, emotional, and logical boundaries; and together they discovered what some would call “the new world” even though it was obviously a world that was already existing. It just needed discovery. Centuries later, it seems almost comical to consider these explorers held minority views of the world around them.
Edwin H. Friedman calls a leader like Christopher Columbus, a self-differentiated leader, in his book, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. Friedman defines such a leader as one who has a “…capacity to be a non-anxious presence, a challenging presence, a well-defined presence, and a paradoxical presence. Differentiation is not about being coercive, manipulative, reactive, pursuing or invasive, but being rooted in the leader’s own sense of self rather than focused on that of his or her followers. “(Loc. 4174)
Friedman then continues to take the leadership qualities, as he sees it, of these explorers and distill them down to five qualities that would be vital for those in current leadership roles, particularly for those who are looking to change the way others view the world (Loc. 3443-3459):
- A capacity to get outside the emotional climate of the day.
- A willingness to be exposed and vulnerable.
- Persistence in the face of resistance and downright rejection.
- Stamina in the face of sabotage along the way.
- Being “headstrong” and “ruthless”—at least in the eyes of others.
These qualities certainly caught my attention and have captured my thoughts as I have considered my recent experiences in South Africa, my role as a pastor, my role with our work in El Salvador and most importantly, my role as a husband and father. While this space is too short to detail each one these qualities, I will say that I have great agreement with the first four. The first one in particular, emotional awareness, is significant in helping to develop a culture or team. Learning to diffuse the natural inclination to be led by emotion impulses is a challenge that many a leader has failed. The result has been a tarnishing or even a demoralizing destruction of the organizations in which they led. Harnessing those emotions, knowing what to do with them leads into the middle three qualities that follow on Friedman’s list. However, it almost contradicts the fifth one.
And that is where I believe a Christ-centered leader can re-write that fifth principle as one that demonstrates a humble resolve to honour God. Consider Moses:
- Moses struggled with his own identity, as a Hebrew man raised in the Egyptian palace.
- Moses was confused by the function of power and authority.
- Moses developed a sense of shame at his own failings and his perceived lack of ability.
And yet, through a process that sounds much like the discovery process of self-differentiation that Friedman espouses, Moses came to understand leadership from God’s perspective. Under God’s patient and compassionate guidance Moses, is remembered not by how he started, but what he overcame and how he finished. He is remembered not first, for his accomplishments, but for his unrelenting faith in Our God (Hebrews 11:26):
- Moses is described as a “very humble man, more humble than anyone else on the face of the earth.” (Numbers 12:3)
- Moses enjoyed a relationship with God that is described in which he: talked with God face to face, as one talks with a friend (Exodus 33:11).
It was only when he gave in to his emotion, and lost track of the “self-differentiation”, as a representative of God, in a manner that affected the culture of his team, that he faced the reprimand from God.
The legacy of Moses is that he came to discover new territory: his worth, not by what he did, but in who he was by virtue of his deeply developed relationship with Our God. The strength and trust of this relationship is what helped him to graciously accept God’s decision to let him see the promised land but not enter it. He demonstrated a humble resolve rather than a headstrong or ruthless demeanor.
Friedman may not like my tinkering with his observations (likely because we share opposing worldviews). However, I would like to think that we would agree that the strength of those who serve in leadership is not measured in external factors rather it is forged from inward refinement which enables new discoveries of the world that stretches out around us. That inward refinement can only happen through a developed understanding of our identity as uniquely created, purposefully gifted and deeply cherished children of God.
Friedman says it this way:
“The way out, rather, requires shifting our orientation to the way we think about relationships, from one that focuses on techniques that motivate others to one that focuses on the leader’s own presence and being.“ (Loc. 158-159)
Jesus says it this way:
“You are the salt of the earth…You are the light of the world.” (Matthew 5:13-14)
The words of Jesus speak of presence and being, but they also speak words that place no limit or restriction on their use. We live in a world that needs healing and the preservation of good. We live in a world that is often shrouded by darkness. What we need are people who, by virtue of their personal discovery of a relationship with God, are undaunted to make the voyage across the street, across the city and across the world.
Of the four (or five) qualities that Friedman describes which one most challenges you?
Bonus: If you have time, please read this blog post from a friend of mine who works with Seed of Hope Community Development in Amanzitoti, South Africa. In reading, please pray for the situation described.
6 responses to “New Discoveries”
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Deve, Thanks, great post…
I really like your application of Friedman’s self-differentiation principles and the process to become a self differentiating person to the life of Moses. You have nicely shown how it was not the knowledge or power that Moses achieved or exercised but rather his presence or being in the presence of God that determined his leadership and ultimately the outcomes. Can we discern in Moses’ dealing with the conflict between God and the chosen people, especially as he stood in the often emotional triangle between God and the errant, disobedient people, Friedman’ concept of “being separate while still remaining connected? (340). Was Moses a “challenging presence” enabling and empowering the people to take responsibility?
In considering the qualities Friedman list as essential for a self-differentiating leader, I would select number 2 as more significant from my perspective. The “willingness to be exposed and vulnerable” represents two essential characteristics of good leadership: allowing exposure exhibits humility coupled with identifying with others in the organization and vulnerable requires trust and builds trustfulness. Humility and trust, indispensable in team relations.
You know Ron, those qualities that bring us into humility and inspire trust are rare and often avoided by those in leadership. You rightly mention the “presence” of Moses before Our God. To me this is the biggest challenge and the greatest resource in our capacity to be fully present among those we serve.
Great post. You stated that that “ a Christ-centered leader can re-write that fifth principle as one that demonstrates a humble resolve to honour God”. You used Moses as your example for this, but I would like to present a different point of view. If Moses had been more of a headstrong leader, maybe the Israelites would not have wondered for 40 years in the desert. Maybe Moses could have entered the promise land if he would have been a stronger leader. I am not trying to say Moses was a bad leader or that he was not following God’s will, but if we look at his leadership style we would find he was unsure and passive. Sometimes strength is what a leader needs to demonstrate to his people. I do not believe that a pastor or church leader needs to be so headstrong or ruthless that it destroys the church, but maybe sometimes being a little headstrong can solve or stop problems from getting out of hand. I do believe that one can be both humble and assertive at the same time, or as Friedman calls “ruthless”. Certainly, Jesus was ruthless when it came to confronting demons and Satan. I also think we tend to put a negative connotation on the word “ruthless”, but it can be positive when combined with other Christ-like attributes. I think of Joshua or Joab, a ruthless strategist who commanded David’s army…
Richard, you present an interesting alternative perspective on Moses. There is definitely lots of room to examine his life for alternatives. Perhaps our definitions of “ruthless” and “resolve” are closer than I think, but I would have a hard time striving to become or develop someone to become a “ruthless” leader. You definitely highlight some people who start from a better position than Moses did…thanks for giving me more to think about.
The legacy of Moses is that he came to discover new territory: his worth, not by what he did, but in who he was by virtue of his deeply developed relationship with Our God. The strength and trust of this relationship is what helped him to graciously accept God’s decision to let him see the promised land but not enter it. Deve, I really loved your blog. Friedman’s book is another great resource and certainly one to consult. However you were able to touch on some of the ideas that where running through my mind as I reflected the author’s concepts. As was wondering about how some of the thoughts in Friedman’s book squared with principles in scripture. Where was the line between leading in with one’s might and self-determination as opposed to theocentric and Kingdom ways. Of Moses you write, “He demonstrated a humble resolve rather than a headstrong or ruthless demeanor.
You also contend, “Friedman may not like my tinkering with his observations (likely because we share opposing worldviews). However, I would like to think that we would agree that the strength of those who serve in leadership is not measured in external factors rather it is forged from inward refinement which enables new discoveries of the world that stretches out around us. That inward refinement can only happen through a developed understanding of our identity as uniquely created, purposefully gifted and deeply cherished children of God.”
You thoughts on “inward refinement”, were very helpful and I believe Friedman would be positive about this point in regards to the self-differentiation of a leader.
Thank Deve!
Thanks for your comments Michael. I definitely was challenged by Friedman’s book and would also consider it a valuable resource going forward. However, it is important to note that he seems to hold an view that life has evolved rather than created. That has to influence his capacity to think through these things and certainly then requires us to engage the material carefully, while appreciating the unquestioned value of it.