Books on leadership usually focus on how to be an effective leader through guidance and direction. They will share skills and techniques to help you become successful. There are leadership books that help you with time management. For example, the Leadership an Art by DePree stated “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and debtor. That sums up the progress of an artful leader.” (11)  He was demonstrating how to be an effective leader by leading with a servant attitude. Then there is the book Heroic Leadership by Chris Lowey who provided the traits of a leader. Lowney believes one must do a self-check of ourselves. We must “(1) appreciate our own dignity and potential; (2) recognize our weaknesses that block that potential; (3) articulate our values that we stand for; (4) establish personal goals; (5) form a point of view on the world and how we will relate to others; and (6) see the wisdom and value in examine an commit to it.”  Now we are presented with Failure of Nerve that reflects the issues of a leader. This book is what to watch out for, or this is why they are the way they are. Everyone has probably experienced a leader like this, or maybe you are that leader.
When I was in management, and there was the male leader giving others hell, we would say, ‘He has no authority at home, so he is taking it out on his employees.’ Friedman is sharing the reason or reality behind the hostile leader. He spoke about working in a hostile environment. Emotional Triangle was a theme. This is where a person has different challenges they are trying to manage conflict: family, stress, work, etc. Friedman says, “Emotional triangles form because of the inherent instability of two-person relationships.” (Kindle, Location 3694-3695) When interacting with conflict within or outside that relationship, it becomes an emotional triangle. We tend to move our attention to the problems as well as invite them into other parts of our lives. The outward reaction from this can lead to outburst, anger problems, self-medicating with substance, domestic violence, and other damaging impacts. Friedman believes that the emotional triangles (1) are self-organizing; (2) are perpetuated by distance, and (3) tend to be perverse. (Kindle, 3763, 3782, and 3796) For example, “The harder A works at changing the relationship of B and C, the more likely it is that their relationship will move in the opposite direction.” (Kindle, 3796)
In the Christian world, we have leaders who are experiencing emotional triangles. The news exposes them periodically. Pastors with marital affairs, misuse of church funds, substance abuse, predators just to name a few. Pastors are at times providing emotional support to their congregation and family but often have no one they can identify as a support system. We as leaders but acknowledge that we have weaknesses and we need to seek in addition to the kingdom, those of wise counsel to help us prepare, survive, and recover from our storm.
 Max Depree, Leadership the Art, New York: Crown Business, May 2004, Kindle, pg. 11.
 Chris Lowney, Heroic Leadership, Chicago: Loyola Press, February 2009, Kindle, Location 2866