DMin, Leadership and Global Perspectives: Crafting Ministry in an Interconnected World

Develop Control Over Your Emotions and Your Life !

Written by: on January 10, 2017


Human beings can survive even in the toughest conditions regardless of their external environment. People realize their potential early to accomplish their long-term goals, but only successful people are able to go extra mile to fulfill their desires. Hence, success can be achieved by everyone with persistence. Unfortunately, few people make an effort to improve their lives. It is important to note that no one is born with clearly superior skills; everyone is born with a similar potential, but only successful people work extra hard to achieve their milestones.


In The Social Animal, Brooks thoroughly investigates individual capacity and how skills can be used to improve life.[1] He attempts to identify individuals’ human behavior, capabilities, and decision-making aspects. The book is based on two fictional characters that show how life can be viewed differently. Harold was a diligent student who became a scholar throughout his life. In contrast, Eric was a focused person who possessed the ability to meet challenges in life. Eric’s driven attitude helped her rise to work on prominent positions in society. Through this analogy, Brooks demonstrated how internal influences can impact an individual’s behavior. These two characters lived very different lives due to the decisions they made early in their lives. Both Eric and Harold were driven by emotional needs. People can achieve their dreams in any circumstances through commitment to the goals. It also takes into consideration biology, psychology, sociology, and other disciplines. The writer argues that a person is known for his or her acts individually. Hence, one’s decision-making power is based entirely on the subconscious mind.[2]

Moreover, Simon, van den Dries, and Wilms note that every individual possess hidden qualities and noncognitive skills that make them unique.[3] Intrinsic factors can make an impact over the outward expression of an individual’s character. They stress individuals’ need to assess their potential in order to make life better. Brooks depicted the nature of human beings through academic subjects.[4] Every individual can make their own decisions and their future life is dependent on the decisions they make now.[5]

Soltanifar and Ansari noted that people are successful and unsuccessful in their lives due to their decision-making abilities.[6] People who are successful in their lives made the right decisions at the right times. These people are hardworking and committed to their life goals. Successful people endure the same difficult conditions as others, but they are devoted to their tasks even if there is no hope. The human brain has the tendency to accommodate multiple concepts at a single time, but everyone possesses a different ability to feed information in their brain.[7]

According to Viki and Abrams, an individual’s mindset determines his or her normal lifestyle;[8] it is the inner force that influences an individual profoundly. Brooks also argued that the mindset, which is driven by inner forces, influences the individual’s choices.[9] For instance, career choices vary from one individual to another. Brooks argued that internal emotions enable the individuals to establish their outward mindsets. In addition to this, human beings are also driven by universal feelings of loneliness: Every individual wishes to belong and be understood by others.[10]

Personal Note

We learned from Kenny that emotional needs drive behavior.[11] Therefore, our surrounding conditions must not be a hindrance to achieving a dream regardless of the time required. Since emotional intelligence gives us self-awareness, we use emotions in just about every decision we make. As we use emotions in our decision-making process, our situation and outcomes improve.

I read  this story written by Toby Jensen Master Life Coach, which says,“There have been studies done of people who have had brain surgery or brain trauma that were left without the ability to experience emotion. When asked to sign a document that would benefit them and given a blue and a black pen to sign it with they freeze up. With no weight given to either blue or black in any way they are completely incapable of making a decision. They are frozen with indecision. They simply can’t decide which pen to use. Logic literally seizes them. Only with emotion can someone choose whether to use a blue or a black pen to sign the document. A brain that cannot feel cannot make up it’s own mind. The profound sense of logic only works within the sense of emotion.”

It is a fact that more mature, responsible, and emotionally healthy human beings make better decisions. The Social Animal was a great read and gave me some new nuggets!






[1]. David Brooks, The Social Animal (London: Short Books, 2012).

[2]. B. Sievers, L. Polansky, M. Casey, and T. Wheatley, “Music and Movement Share a Dynamic Structure that Supports Universal Expressions of Emotion,” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences 110, no. 1 (2013): 70–75.

[3]. M. Simon, T. F. van den Dries, and T. Wilms, “Driving Customer-Centric Growth: A Practical Roadmap,” Journal of Advertising Research 56, no. 2 (2016): 159–68.

[4]. Brooks, The Social Animal.

[5]. R. P. Abelson, K. P. Frey, and A. P. Gregg, Experiments with People: Revelations from Social Psychology (New York, NY: Psychology Press, 2014).

[6]. E. Soltanifar and M. Ansari, “Matrix-Collage: An Innovative Methodology for Qualitative Inquiry in Social Systemsm” Electronic Journal of Business Research Methods 14 (2016): 8–27.

[7]. Shalini Bahl et al., “Mindfulness: Its Transformative Potential for Consumer, Societal, and Environmental Well-Being,” Journal of Public Policy & Marketing 35 (2016): 198–210.

[8]. G. T. Viki and D. Abrams, “The Social Influence of Groups on Individuals,” in Crime and Crime Reduction: The Importance of Group Processes, ed. J. L. Wood and T. A. Gannon, 3–33 (London: Routledge, 2013).

[9]. Brooks, The Social Animal.

[10]. J. Arvai, “Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman, Farrar, Straus, & Giroux,” Journal of Risk Research 16 (2013): 1322–24.

[11]. C. T. Kenny, The Right Brain Way: Drive Your Brand with the Power of Emotion (London: Trafford, 2009).

About the Author


Rose Anding

Rose Maria “Simmons McCarthy” Anding, a Visionary, Teacher,Evangelist, Biblical Counselor/ Chaplain and Author, of High Heels, Honey Lips, and White Powder. She is a widower, mother, stepmother, grandmother, great grandmother of Denver James, the greater joy of her life. She has lived in Chicago, Washington, DC, and North Carolina, and is now back on the forgiving soil of Mississippi.

4 responses to “Develop Control Over Your Emotions and Your Life !”

  1. Happy New Year Rose! Thank you for this blog. I like how you incorporated other sources into your writing.
    You wrote, “It is important to note that no one is born with clearly superior skills; everyone is born with a similar potential, but only successful people work extra hard to achieve their milestones.” I think I hear what you are saying and agree on one level, but it just seems to me where a person is born has so much to do with potential, not just hard work. In other words, someone in the U.S. has a lot more potential in many areas than someone born in Syria right now. Do you agree?

  2. mm Rose Anding says:

    Thanks Aaron P!
    Happy New Year to you!
    In reference to the ” On one Level”, the way you stated it, I agree with you. However I was referring to this fact, that one does not need to be a genius to be successful in life. People who made it in life went through the same condition like those who never made it in life.

    A human brain has the capacity to accommodate many things, but the ability to feed information in the brain depends on the individual himself or herself . The mindset of an individual dictates on the general lifestyle of an individual. Brook argued that the mindset which is driven by inner force influences choices of an individual. For instance, career choices vary from one individual to another. Example: We are all in the doctrinal program, but our final result will be different, based upon our choices, mature, responsible, and emotionally decisions we are making.
    Thanks for sharing, I wish you great success this semester. Rose Maria

  3. mm Marc Andresen says:


    With the work you are doing and want to do with people who struggle with drugs (I hope I am remembering that correctly), have you found incentive that motivates these folks to advance their lives? Or to ask another way: since emotion so powerfully affects our decision making, what emotionally helps a person recovering from drugs to move on?

    • mm Rose Anding says:

      Thanks Marc,
      I am experiences great progress in helping those trapped beneath the trapping of addiction. It is through Christ Jesus that we can overcome and live productively lives!
      I pray that you have a successful semester, thank for sharing! Rose Maria

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