{"id":9685,"date":"2016-10-14T05:12:09","date_gmt":"2016-10-14T12:12:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dminlgp.com\/?p=9685"},"modified":"2016-10-14T05:12:09","modified_gmt":"2016-10-14T12:12:09","slug":"leading-with-the-aroma-of-christ","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/leading-with-the-aroma-of-christ\/","title":{"rendered":"Leading with the Aroma of Christ"},"content":{"rendered":"

SUMMARY<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Edwin Friedman writes A Failure of Nerve<\/em> after 40 years of experience as a family therapist and leadership consultant. His views on leadership are shaped by an evolutionistic perspective as well as by his experience working with a diversity of people from all cultural backgrounds and positions, including families, businesses, or non-profit organizations. He died unexpectedly before publishing the book, making this volume a valuable set of insights in the study of leadership dynamics.<\/p>\n

Friedman argues that there are two types of leaders across all families and organizations: the one who is reactive<\/em> and the one who is a well-differentiated<\/em> leader. The kind of influence of the reactive leader is not positive. This leader contributes to an atmosphere characterized by anxiety, fear, indecision and frustration, which is the result of being entangled in triangles of dysfunctional emotional processes. Whether controlling, insecure, or passive, the reactive leader is not effective.<\/p>\n

In contrast, the kind of influence of the well-differentiated leader is positive. The very presence of this leader inspires trust, acting as the immune system for the organization. In contrast to the reactive leader, the well-differentiated leader has a clear sense of self and is driven by a clear pursuit of a vision. This leader understands that opposition is an intrinsic part of leading. Therefore, this leader is not a people pleaser; rather this person leads with an unwavering commitment to the vision and expects to be criticized or even abandoned by followers along the journey. Consequently, Friedman warns those who desire to lead well that, \u201cLeadership through self-differentiation is not easy; learning techniques and imbibing data are far easier. Nor is striving or achieving success as a leader without pain: there is the pain of isolation, the pain of loneliness, the pain of personal attacks, the pain of losing friends. That\u2019s what leadership is all about.\u201d (233)<\/p>\n

REFLECTION<\/u><\/strong><\/p>\n

Friedman offers rich insights, and in many ways he echoes some of the concepts described by Jim Collins in the Level-Five Leader. Yet, each author has his own nuances that bring new flavors in the study of leadership.<\/p>\n

Friedman reminds me that leadership is about being<\/em> rather than doing<\/em>. He invites me to look inside before I look at my surroundings. Who am I? What is my source of identity? In leadership there is a common tendency to derive a sense of self-worth from our accomplishments, and pastoral leadership is not the exception. We can easily let our degrees, the size of our church, or the number of books sold shape the way we see ourselves.\u00a0\u00a0 Yet, I am reminded that if I am to lead effectively, I must start by deriving my sense of self from God. Like the Apostle Paul realized in his own experience\u2014unless I do not consider earthly achievements as trash in comparison with knowing Christ\u2014I may still fall into the trap of defining my identity from the wrong sources.<\/p>\n

Friedman also reminds me that working with people across cultural lines becomes simplified when I start looking beyond the colors of skin, language accents, or food flavors. He tells me that even though the differences are many, the deeper emotional processes that we experience are the same. Thus, as a leader in a multiethnic church, I must keep in mind that the eternal truths of God\u2019s Word can speak to any heart. At the end of the day, connecting with the real person hiding behind the surface will ensure that I am a caring shepherd regardless of the flock in which the sheep was born.<\/p>\n

Friedman also gives me a sobering reminder that sabotage is part of any leadership experience. Any person in pastoral leadership can testify to the emotional struggles of leading the sheep, yet Friedman reminds me that these struggles are not unique to pastoral leadership. Rather, leading well in any context will inevitably bring drama. Being misunderstood, betrayed, criticized, or judged are things to be expected. Being aware of this factor gives me a better perspective as I look at past unpleasant experiences, but it also prepares me as I continue to move forward. It helps me to remember that at the end of the day I am accountable to God, and that I will have to give Him<\/em> an account for my service. So, instead of being a people pleaser, I must be a God pleaser. Only then will I have a compass that will always point in the right direction, even if it indicates drama ahead.<\/p>\n

Overall, Friedman has challenged me to be a well-differentiated leader rather than a reactive one. He has given me new categories to think about, and I appreciate the wisdom found in these pages. I pray that God will use my presence as a well-differentiated leader to bring the aroma of Christ to my home and to my church for the years to come.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SUMMARY Edwin Friedman writes A Failure of Nerve after 40 years of experience as a family therapist and leadership consultant. His views on leadership are shaped by an evolutionistic perspective as well as by his experience working with a diversity of people from all cultural backgrounds and positions, including families, businesses, or non-profit organizations. He […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":71,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[689,242,688,702],"class_list":["post-9685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-ethnos-bible-church","tag-friedmann","tag-pablo-morales","tag-pastor-pablo-morales","cohort-lgp6"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/71"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9685"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9685\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}