{"id":9681,"date":"2016-10-13T22:52:42","date_gmt":"2016-10-14T05:52:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dminlgp.com\/?p=9681"},"modified":"2016-10-13T22:52:42","modified_gmt":"2016-10-14T05:52:42","slug":"friedman-the-prophet-of-hope-for-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/friedman-the-prophet-of-hope-for-today\/","title":{"rendered":"Friedman, the Prophet of Hope for Today"},"content":{"rendered":"

Introduction<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Failure<\/a>Some books inspire.\u00a0 Some books are merely entertainment.\u00a0 But every so often you pick up a book that speaks directly to your soul.\u00a0 When reading A Failure of Nerve:\u00a0 Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix<\/em>,<\/strong> I thought my highlighter would run dry.\u00a0 Author and lecturer, the late Edwin H. Friedman (passed away prematurely on October 31, 1996), felt like a prophet who was speaking to my present situation.<\/p>\n

A Failure of Nerve<\/em> is a far cry from the average leadership book which implies principles and corporate paradigms are the key to success.\u00a0 If anything he pushes the status quo and unleashes the leader within to find himself or herself by being who you are intended to be.\u00a0 This work speaks to the family, business, and religious institutions by calling them to not be afraid to identify their \u201cbeautiful \u2018values\u2019.\u00a0 The problem is not in their beliefs; it is in how they function with those beliefs.\u201d[1]<\/a>\u00a0 Values are easy to articulate but harder to put into action.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Summary<\/strong><\/p>\n

Friedman uses the term \u201cwell-differentiated leader\u201d throughout his book.\u00a0 In his own words he said, \u201cI mean someone who has clarity about his or her life goals, and therefore, someone who is less likely to become lost in the anxious emotional processes swirling about.\u00a0 I mean someone who can be separate while still remaining connected, and therefor can maintain a modifying, non-anxious, and sometimes challenging presence.\u201d[2]<\/a><\/p>\n

This concept of \u201cdifferentiation\u201d was the key to the book.\u00a0 \u201cDifferentiation is the lifelong process of striving to keep one\u2019s being in balance through the reciprocal external and internal processes of self-definition and self-regulation.\u00a0 It is a concept that can sometimes be difficult to focus on objectively, for differentiation<\/em> means the capacity to become oneself out of one\u2019s self, with minimum reactivity to the positions or reactivity of other.\u201d[3]<\/a><\/p>\n

In a world of political correctness and over sensitivity to leaders who are secure in themselves, and sometimes perceived as arrogant, Friedman seems to encourage strength and forwardness.\u00a0 I was shocked when he said, \u201cSelf-differentiation always triggers sabotage.\u00a0 This is the aspect of leadership that is not emphasized enough, if at all, by most leadership theories that focus on vision, team-building, and so forth.\u201d[4]<\/a><\/p>\n

Friedman is not calling for arrogance or leadership bullying its followers\/employees.\u00a0 He does believe that leaders need to be \u201cdecisive\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cWhen one makes a decision, one is making choices, which includes the choice of being willing to give something up\u2026The resulting indecisiveness of leaders is also reinforced by the herding force\u2019s erosion of self.\u201d[5]<\/a>\u00a0 Leadership is going to demand of you to make decisions that draw from who you are, not just to appease the followers.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Analysis<\/strong><\/p>\n

Friedman believes that there are four \u201c\u2026major institutions designed by our civilization to foster change:\u00a0 religion, education, psychotherapy, and politics (I have been here since Eisenhower).\u201d[6]<\/a>\u00a0 I find myself engaged, in one form or another, in all four.\u00a0 I am not political pundit or prognosticator, but I am a moral leader that does have influence in politics.<\/p>\n

As a pastor\u00a0\"empathy\"<\/a>we have expectations from others of our mannerisms, personality type, moods, and responses.\u00a0 Friedman debunks a word that is an expected response from being a pastor \u2013 empathy.\u00a0 <\/em>\u00a0\u201cThe word empathy<\/em> is used so often today by teachers, parents, healers, and managers that few realize it only entered the English language in the twentieth century (compared to sympathy, <\/em>which is four hundred fifty years old, and compassion<\/em>, which goes back to 1340) \u2026I believe that the increasing popularity of empathy over the past few decades is symptomatic of the herding\/togetherness force characteristic of an anxious society.\u00a0 And I say this knowing that empathy has achieved such inviolable, holy status in the thinking of some that to even question its value will be considered as irreverent, in not sacrilegious, as denying the Trinity or cursing the Land of Israel.\u201d[7]<\/a><\/p>\n

A Failure of Nerve:\u00a0 Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix<\/em> has put passion and direction in me.\u00a0 I am facing some decisions that call upon me to embrace the tenants of this book in my process with our leadership team.\u00a0 I am not throwing all empathy to the wind but I am embracing the self-differentiation that God has deposited in me as a leader.\u00a0 Edwin Friedman you may have departed from this life twenty years ago but you are still relevant today.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> [1] Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve:\u00a0 Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, <\/em>(New York:\u00a0 Seabury Books, 2007), 146.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Ibid., 14.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid., 183.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Ibid., 247.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Ibid., 69.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Ibid., 5.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Ibid., 136.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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