{"id":9672,"date":"2016-10-13T20:55:39","date_gmt":"2016-10-14T03:55:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dminlgp.com\/?p=9672"},"modified":"2016-10-13T20:55:39","modified_gmt":"2016-10-14T03:55:39","slug":"presence-leadership-by-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/presence-leadership-by-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Presence&#8230;Leadership by me!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><em>Summary<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This engaging book by <em>Edwin H Friedman<\/em>, <em>A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of Quick Fix<\/em> has been a thought provoking read. \u00a0 It seems he could have written this book over this past year. Leadership issues abound today and no one is able to\u00a0define what leadership should look like now! \u00a0He is very down to earth and takes the time to walk through his thoughts, completely defining <em>his<\/em> concepts of \u00a0leadership.\u00a0 His thoughts on leadership are unique and have been recorded in a very exact way. \u00a0The reorientation that he proposes is given in an outline form at the end of chapter one. \u00a0I found this to be a very helpful tool in reading this material and preparing to make application of it.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Adventure: <\/strong>Imagination is emotional, rather than cerebral<\/li>\n<li><strong>Anxiety:<\/strong> \u00a0is between people, rather than in the mind<\/li>\n<li><strong>Data:<\/strong> The capacity to be decisive is more important than (data) being as informed as possible<\/li>\n<li><strong>Empathy:<\/strong> We should foster \u2018responsibility for one\u2019s own being and destiny\u2019 over feelings, sensitivity, and rights<\/li>\n<li><strong>Self:<\/strong> Rather than being a selfishness that destroys community, a leader\u2019s well-defined self is essential to the integrity of the community (presence )<\/li>\n<li><strong>Models of Leadership:<\/strong> Reality is about relationship, rather than the nature of things and we should focus on differentiating self, rather than motivating others<\/li>\n<li><strong>Stress:<\/strong> \u00a0results from one\u2019s position in relational triangles, rather than hard work<\/li>\n<li><strong>Crisis and sabotage:<\/strong> \u00a0can be signs of success<\/li>\n<li><strong>The Past:<\/strong> The past resides in the present and isn\u2019t merely a prelude to it (50)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>At the conclusion of this chapter there is a very insightful sentence that challenges all leaders to set out into a new direction,<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cFor those who seek quick fix answers to their leadership problems, such reframing may seem an impractical waste of time: but my experience has been that nothing is more relevant to the pragmatic than the way we tend to think!\u201d<\/em> (50)<br \/>\nHow we think?\u00a0 Can we change the way we think?\u00a0 Yes, we can do that. \u00a0One of the places he really challenges us to think differently is about data. We are a metrics driven church and society.\u00a0 We love to collect data and to have it in our hands.\u00a0 I am not so sure that we do a great job using it to its greatest potential.\u00a0 The author points out two very important facets to data that I perceive as really insightful: the myth of data and technique.<\/p>\n<p>The first is that, if we just knew more, we would be able to fix anything.<\/p>\n<p>The second is that, if we fail, it is because we didn\u2019t use the right technique. (98 )<\/p>\n<p>These two concepts are incredibly powerful. Just because we can collect data doesn\u2019t mean that it will point our leadership in the right direction.\u00a0 Maybe our decision making ability is more important than all the data we can find.\u00a0 \u00a0An individual being the leader with presence guiding change may be the most powerful way forward.<\/p>\n<p>Having spent so much time involved with teenagers and youth ministry, I thought the application of this thought process \u00a0brings change to parenting that is truly spot on.\u00a0 Friedman observes that there is no evidence that the most successful parents are the ones with the most knowledge of the latest \u2018data\u2019 and \u2018techniques\u2019 of child-rearing.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cParenting is no different from any other kind of \u201cmanaging.\u201d The crucial issues in raising children have far less to do with proper technique than with the nature of the parents\u2019 presence and the type of emotional processes they engender.\u201d (113)<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><em>Nurturing growth always follows two principles. One is: Stay out of its way; you cannot \u201cgrow\u201d another by will or technique. But the second is: Do not let it \u201covergrow\u201d you. (144)<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Balance seems to be the conclusive part of parenting and leadership.\u00a0\u00a0 Presence keeps coming up as the vital ingredient to change and to healthy relationships.\u00a0 So if presence is the main things how does it affect other relationships?\u00a0\u00a0 This was addressed in a shape: triangles.<\/p>\n<p>Triangles really challenged me.\u00a0 How they form and how they work.\u00a0 \u00a0(somewhere in the back of my mind I can\u2019t help but think trinity)<\/p>\n<p>To summarise it all:<\/p>\n<p>Emotional triangles follow a few straightforward rules:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>They form out of people\u2019s discomfort with each other.<\/li>\n<li>They are self-preserving and resist all attempts to change them.<\/li>\n<li>They interlock with and reinforce other emotional triangles.<\/li>\n<li>They make it hard for people to alter their patterns of thought and behaviour.<\/li>\n<li>They transmit a system\u2019s stress to its most responsible or most focused member (206).<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>How often has this been the thing within a work place, a church staff or within a family that confuses and emotionally derails people?<\/p>\n<p>So much information, that can be used.<\/p>\n<p>Application\/Takeaway<\/p>\n<p>The takeaway from this book is that I want to be a New World leader instead of an Old World leader.\u00a0 My summation of this whole idea of leadership by presence and by strong decision is recorded here.<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Be!<\/strong>\u00a0 Your way or \u201cpresence\u201d affects the emotional processes in the relationship system.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Do!\u00a0 <\/strong>Communication depends on emotional variables such as direction, distance and anxiety.\u00a0 Even within being responsible for relationships of others you must still do.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Lead! <\/strong>Hierarchy is a natural systems phenomenon rooted in the nature of protoplasm.\u00a0 (194)<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>To conceptually define leadership around the human phenomenon, (family system) is a complete paradigm shift.\u00a0\u00a0 What this family systems model did was to shift the unity of observation from a person to a network and to focus on network principles that were <em><u>universal<\/u><\/em> rather than specific to <em>culture<\/em>. (198)<\/p>\n<p>This new way of thinking and new way of leading is what leads to change.\u00a0 There is a clear path to change leadership within a church or really any organization based on the three principles because they are universal.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 So universal leadership is within reach if we are able to navigate all that goes with the family system.\u00a0 This is not always easy but is does make some issues of management and leadership much more possible.<\/p>\n<p>This has really challenged me.\u00a0 I believe I lead by presence more than I do by position. (Really nice to now have a definition for what in the world I am doing) \u00a0\u00a0It is just nice to be able to define how I do what I do.\u00a0 Sometimes words that have been redefined and re-contextualized, brings clarity and pin point accuracy to where a leader is going and how he is leading.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This book has really truly brought about another level of language for leadership.<\/p>\n<p>Presence is something that I want to experience.\u00a0 When I am in His presence there is life change so this concept makes perfect sense to me.\u00a0 In just a short time in His presence things that were just a few minutes ago impossible, how have a solution or a resolve.\u00a0\u00a0 Sometimes just being in His presence brings peace and clarity about complicated situations that humanly can\u2019t work out but if I follow His lead of being, doing and leading, I to can bring about change.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Can my presence reflect my time spent in His presence?\u00a0 Within this family system is my presence enough to lead and bring direction?<\/p>\n<p>As I see it defined:<\/p>\n<p>Presence\u2026. Leadership by me.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Summary This engaging book by Edwin H Friedman, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of Quick Fix has been a thought provoking read. \u00a0 It seems he could have written this book over this past year. Leadership issues abound today and no one is able to\u00a0define what leadership should look like now! \u00a0He [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":72,"featured_media":9675,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[676,239,663],"class_list":["post-9672","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dminlgp6","tag-freidman","tag-lgp6","cohort-lgp6"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9672","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/72"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9672"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9672\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9672"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9672"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9672"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}