Is it ironic that Friedman\u2019s opening assertion that in America today we have a leadership crisis and that there are forces attempting to sabotage leaders, caused a certain amount of anxiety to develop inside me? Perhaps not, because maybe that is who I am as a leader. Friedman reminds me that I need to constantly get back on the path of differentiation and take responsibility for myself and my leadership. What a great book! I was really shocked and sadden to read that Friedman died in 1996 before he could finish this book. I would have loved to read his completed final chapters. Because many of my pastor friends have Generation to Generation <\/i>on their shelves and reluctantly, if not embarrassingly, admit to me that they haven\u2019t read it, I was even more excited to read this last work of Friedman. It did not disappoint.<\/p>\n
Leadership as an Imaginative Non-Anxious Presence<\/b><\/p>\n
A few years back as I was putting together our annual Hub Marriage Retreat I got into an argument with a person who felt like she should be asked to speak because she had been married for the longest of all the retreat attenders. Because she is a poor public communicator I encouraged her to practice a \u201cministry of presence\u201d for the weekend. Friedman writes that I was able to make up this phrase because during this heated discussion I maintained a non-anxious emotionally present presence with her and was able to function at my strength as a leader and even overcome some \u201cequator\u201d thinking and use my imagination to communicate a ministry paradigm shift. In her eyes, the most important people attending the retreat were going to be the speakers. I was able to help her re-imagine that the strengths of her marriage could be shared in other ways during the weekend by \u201cshowing-up\u201d and \u201cjust being emotionally present.\u201d Crisis averted. It was a rare moment for me a few years ago that I did not fail to have nerve.<\/p>\n
I am writing this blog as I am finishing up grades for this first 10-week term of school. \u201cDoing\u201d grades is the most dreaded part of teaching for most educators. I actually hate it. Yesterday a student turned in her final essay. It is word-for-literal-word of an incredible essay that I just graded. Plagiarized! I confront the students and get the scoop. As I already knew, one student copied her friend\u2019s essay. I am feeling like a differentiated strong leader as I explain to her that this means she is going to fail U.S. History A. The pats on my back only last so long though as she leaves crying to her counselor.<\/p>\n
Enter the Triangle<\/b><\/p>\n
It wasn\u2019t five minutes before the counselor came to me to \u201cdiscuss\u201d what could be done. I allowed myself to be triangulated. I hate stress. I hate failure. I hate seeing youth completely dejected and filled with no hope. Teaching and pastoring involves helping people and caring for people, and healing people, and discipling people. The insecure questions started in my mind. What kind of teacher am I if I don\u2019t allow her to rewrite the essay? What kind of pastor am I if I don\u2019t give her grace? I cave. I give in. I tell myself it\u2019s because I care and I am a good teacher. Friedman tells me it\u2019s because I can\u2019t handle the tension in the triangle and I need to reorient myself in the path of differentiation.<\/p>\n
Taking Responsibility<\/b><\/p>\n
Grades are due in an hour. I just explained to the counselor and the student that she has earned a fail in my class. I am learning to \u201cown\u201d my own stuff and I want to be the type of teacher who teaches responsibility and the pride that comes with self-ownership and maturity. Reaching this point was difficult and took a tremendous amount of energy. I now know why Friedman states that leadership is about energy and emotion. I am emotionally tired knowing that administration is angry with me and our school just lost a few \u201cexternal measuring\u201d points because yet another student failed a class. In so many people\u2019s eyes, this makes our school look bad.<\/p>\n
Bivocational Pastors<\/b><\/p>\n
My research is on how my tribe cares for and supports bivocational pastors. I am going to include this book in my bibliography for my academic essay this term. What I have learned so far is that fellow bivocational pastors absolutely must pursue self-knowledge and differentiation and the type of leadership Friedman calls for in this book. Planting a church with another full-time job is almost the ultimate practice in anti-quick fix. Bivocational pastors need a strong amount of nerve. Secondly, it is refreshing to read in Friedman that successful leadership is not all about data and following the \u201cexperts.\u201d Both my chosen professions thrive on data and technique. A Failure of Nerve<\/i> frees me from these two pre-new-world-medieval ways of thinking. This freedom, like the kind that Paul says comes with Christ, allows me to focus on my strengths and pursue becoming the leader God has called (and gifted me) to be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Is it ironic that Friedman\u2019s opening assertion that in America today we have a leadership crisis and that there are forces attempting to sabotage leaders, caused a certain amount of anxiety to develop inside me? Perhaps not, because maybe that is who I am as a leader. Friedman reminds me that I need to constantly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":73,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[815,236],"class_list":["post-9668","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dminlgp-6","tag-friedman","cohort-lgp6"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9668","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/73"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9668"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9668\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9668"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9668"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9668"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}