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Amy Chua\u2019s book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother<\/em> was a fascinating read and really brings to life some key cultural differences in parenting. Her transparent and lively narrative style made reading it a joy. I particularly enjoyed this book because I have had the privilege to teaching seminary classes and intensive training courses on culture for Mexican missionaries being sent out to other countries. One of the \u201cobservations\u201d we make when trying to better understand another culture is to study how children are raised, educated, socialized, and disciplined. I wish I had had Chua\u2019s book years ago.<\/p>\n I read much of this book to my wife and relished in her reactions; \u201cYou\u2019ve got to be kidding me!\u201d \u201cThat\u2019s insane!\u201d \u201cThose poor kids.\u201d \u201cOh my word!\u201d \u201cWhat a nut job!\u201d You get the picture. Chua brought up an excellent point to defend her philosophy of parenting, \u201cAll decent parents want to do what\u2019s best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.\u201d[1]<\/a> A phase about cultural differences that I particularly like is, \u201cIt\u2019s not better. It\u2019s not worse. It\u2019s just different.\u201d This is a great starting point when evaluating culture. Most differences are just that, \u201cdifferences\u201d. Once we gain a better perspective and begin to understand the reasoning behind the methodology, we can make better evaluations and judgments. Looking at the success of many Chinese adults that were raised on this style of parenting, it is hard to argue with the results. It is also hard to argue with Chua\u2019s criticism of Western parenting when we look at the condition of so many of our youth. She is quick to point out that, \u201cWestern children definitely are no happier than Chinese ones.\u201d[2]<\/a><\/p>\n With all the \u201cpositive\u201d end results of Chua\u2019s style of parenting, I can honestly say that I would not want to raise my children that way and I am thankful that I was not raised like that, but maybe that is just my Western cultural bent coming out. As I read through this book, I definitely had some objections. As I read Chua\u2019s perspective on parents, I appreciated the respect that is given to parents and elders. I think we could learn a lot from the way many cultures care for aging parents. Where I parted ways with her, was when she said, \u201cwhen it comes to parents, nothing is negotiable\u2026you owe them everything\u2026you do everything for them (even if it destroys your life).\u201d[3]<\/a> Scripture tells us that God\u2019s plan is for us to leave our father and mother and be united to our spouse. We don\u2019t abandon our relationship with them or cease to care for them, but our relationship with our spouse supersedes our relationship with them. I have counseled many couple whose marriage was being torn apart by parents and in-laws. I strongly disagree with Chua that, \u201ceven if it destroys your life\u201d, you keep doing everything they want you to do.<\/p>\n As I read Chua, I kept wondering how the Chinese parent\/child relationship affected a Chinese Christian as they relate to God as Father. Does it lead them to greater devotion and obedience? Do they feel like they have to \u201cperform\u201d well in order to please God? Does it lean toward salvation by works? Does it create more Marthas than Marys? I also wondered how this affects the relationship between church members and pastors\/leaders? Do they take on a parental role in the church? I would love to have heard the responses from other cohorts who have international students to see what their response was to the book.<\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Amy Chua, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother<\/em> (London: Bloomsbury, 2011), 63.<\/p>\n