{"id":4316,"date":"2015-03-06T20:20:51","date_gmt":"2015-03-06T20:20:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dminlgp\/?p=4316"},"modified":"2015-03-06T20:20:51","modified_gmt":"2015-03-06T20:20:51","slug":"my-name-is-insert-name-and-i-am-insert-sexuality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/my-name-is-insert-name-and-i-am-insert-sexuality\/","title":{"rendered":"My Name Is (insert name) and I am (insert sexuality)…"},"content":{"rendered":"

About two years ago I sat across the table from one of my college students when he says this, \u201cI have to tell you something. I\u2019m gay. I know I\u2019m going to hell for feeling this way, but I\u2019ve known since I was in 6th<\/sup> grade. I know I\u2019m choosing hell over heaven, but I don\u2019t know what ales to do.\u201d I had three reactions\u2026 my first reaction was laughter. I laughed because it was the last thing I expected\u2026. I laughed because I was prepared for him to tell me that he got someone pregnant. I laughed because I walked with him for the past 10 years and only now he had the courage to tell me this. I laughed because it all made sense now. His attitude throughout Jr. High and High School\u2026 his attachments\u2026 his friendships\u2026 it all flashed before my eyes and it made sense. My laughing made the situation a little less difficult and took some of the pressure off of him.<\/p>\n

My second reaction was anger. I was not angry at the fact that he was gay, I was angry that he thought that this was a salvation issue. I was angry that he thought that God hated him\u2026 and that this was the thing that was going to determine his salvation. I\u2018ve been his pastor for 10 years and he did not get that from me\u2026 so I quickly stopped him and said, \u201cWait! You’ve been under my teaching for 10 years and this is what you picked up? I have never ever taught you this\u2026 \u201cIt wasn’t my teaching that caused him to reach this conclusion, but it was the culture and context. So, I took the time to explain the Gospel to him one more time\u2026 to share God\u2019s love and God\u2019s desire for him. I wanted him to remember that salvation is not work\/ act based, but salvation is the result of God\u2019s grace and mercy shown on the cross. When I was done, he asked me if I was sure. He said, \u201cAre you sure God still loves me?\u201d I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever asked myself that question\u2026 or has that thought ever crossed my mind. I continued to say that though I don\u2019t understand his feelings\u2026. And I can\u2019t pretend to understand same sex attraction, I know that I love him and I will stand with him (even if I don\u2019t understand or fully agree). He is welcome in our community\u2026 he is part of our family\u2026 and I will stand with him, even if it costs me my job (which it might, I’m in the PCA).<\/p>\n

My third reaction was the internal conflict that comes with this coming out experience. I remain convinced that the issue of homosexuality is not a salvation issue, but it\u2019s a discipleship issue. It\u2019s about the depth and the intimacy that you can have with God while living a lifestyle that is different than what God intended for you (I cringe inside when I say this). Gosh, I think about all the ways I fall short and all the decisions that I make that seem to be contrary to the \u201clifestyle\u201d that God had intended for me to live.<\/p>\n

I struggle with just how much our sexuality defines us. It\u2019s almost like our self worth is determined by who our sexual partner is, and how many sexual partners we have had. There has to be more to my worth and my personhood than whom I sleep with. I don\u2019t want my sexuality to be the first impression people have of me.<\/p>\n

What I really appreciate about Andrew Marin\u2019s book, Love is an Orientation<\/em>, is the fact that it elevates all of our humanity, not just the gay community.<\/p>\n

Martin seems to understand one thing well, that God looks at the heart and He changes the heart\u2026 we focus on changed behavior, but that\u2019s secondary to someone\u2019s encounter with God. It takes a lifetime to change behavior. We as a church need to give up trying to fix people, and changing hearts, but rather get in the business of showing God\u2019s love. This doesn\u2019t mean softening our position or theology, but it does mean being patient in understanding that God changes people\u2026 and that takes time.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t help but think about Jesus\u2019 reaction to the prostitute. He accepted her. He didn\u2019t agree with her \u201clifestyle choice\u201d but he reached out to her\u2026 and stood up for her, not once her behavior changed, but in the midst of it. Yes, he told her to sin no more, but He tells us the same thing over and over again\u2026 sin no more! Do I still sin? Maybe! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Finally, I end with a few questions\u2026<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Is my sexual identity of more value than my identity in Christ?<\/li>\n
  2. Is the act of having sex the highest form of intimacy\u2026 and is it the highest form of expressing love?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    About two years ago I sat across the table from one of my college students when he says this, \u201cI have to tell you something. I\u2019m gay. I know I\u2019m going to hell for feeling this way, but I\u2019ve known since I was in 6th grade. I know I\u2019m choosing hell over heaven, but I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[134,126],"class_list":["post-4316","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-marin","tag-thatcher","cohort-lgp4"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4316"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4318,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions\/4318"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}