{"id":42692,"date":"2025-12-01T09:00:06","date_gmt":"2025-12-01T17:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=42692"},"modified":"2025-11-21T12:14:03","modified_gmt":"2025-11-21T20:14:03","slug":"striving-to-blossom-in-the-desert","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/striving-to-blossom-in-the-desert\/","title":{"rendered":"Striving to Blossom in the Desert"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/a>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Non-Anxious, Undefended Camels<\/p><\/div>\n

Revisiting the ideas of Edwin Friedman and Simon Walker this semester has led me to deeper layers of self-awareness, identity, and spiritual formation.[1]<\/a> Their frameworks have become more than academic concepts; they have become invitations to inner transformation. Friedman\u2019s insight that differentiated, non-anxious leaders often walk alone has touched me deeply, especially in Mauritania, where leadership can feel isolating, misunderstood, or resisted.[2]<\/a> His reminder that the emotional process of the group should not control the leader has helped me identify the moments when I feel pulled into anxiety or reactivity.[3]<\/a> Walker\u2019s work presses even further, challenging me to root my leadership identity not in approval, performance, or cultural expectations but in who God created me to be and letting others do the same.[4]<\/a> His notion of undefended leadership<\/em> continues to dismantle the internal patterns of self-protection that I have carried since childhood.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A recent job interview revealed how easily these patterns can surface. I was told that my coaching model \u201cwould never work in Mauritania\u201d because \u201cMauritanians just want to be told what to do.\u201d Everything in me wanted to respond defensively\u2014to justify my methods, my experience, and the relationships I have built here. But as I listened, I recognized the interviewer’s anxious, defensive posture. In that moment, I breathed, prayed, and realized that his anxiety did not need to become mine. I remembered Friedman\u2019s language of sabotage and systemic resistance\u00a0[5]<\/a> and Walker\u2019s invitation to remain undefended.[6]<\/a> I stepped back internally and thought, \u201cThis does not need to become my next job.\u201d For the first time, I felt clarity, not because I defended myself, but because I stayed grounded.<\/p>\n

As I apply Friedman and Walker to my leadership, I want to continue growing in my ability to recognize when I feel defensive, anxious, or overwhelmed\u2014and to return quickly to a calm and non-anxious presence. I want to walk in the freedom both authors describe: Friedman\u2019s differentiation and Walker\u2019s undefended identity. These are not just leadership techniques; they are ways of being that I long to practice daily in my cross-cultural context.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Some of the deepest thresholds of my soul go back to childhood. I grew up as \u201cthe good kid\u201d\u2014the one who memorized Bible verses, won awards, made adults proud, and carried enormous expectations quietly. But that image had a hidden cost: a pressure to maintain appearances, to perform, and to keep my weaknesses unseen. These patterns followed me into adulthood, into ministry, and into leadership. Throughout the DLGP program, I have learned that this desire to please and to be perfect also fuels anxiety and over-responsibility. Walker\u2019s work on ego structures exposed this tendency,[7]<\/a> while trauma-informed leadership readings, such as Rowe and Rowe, helped me understand how unaddressed wounds shape leadership habits.[8]<\/a> The threshold has been recognizing that my identity rests not in what I achieve, but in being God\u2019s beloved daughter.<\/p>\n

My leadership identity continues to evolve intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Intellectually, I see myself as a leader who can speak into complex issues with informed, thoughtful perspectives rather than reactive responses or fleeing the topic. Emotionally, I have learned to acknowledge the shadow places I once avoided, letting God heal and reshape them. Spiritually, I am learning to follow the Spirit\u2019s leading with trust, humility, and curiosity. Through this program, my confidence has grown; not in myself alone, but in the God who has shaped me, gifted me, and placed me in Mauritania for His purposes.<\/p>\n

Mauritania is unpredictable, reactive, and constantly shifting. This is how new thresholds are emerging in this season as well\u2014often unexpected but always inviting me to change. \u00a0I have learned to create margin, to hold plans loosely, and to let God direct my steps. I am sensing new invitations\u2014opportunities to use my coaching, leadership training, and doctoral work to influence Mauritanian leaders. Those who have the power to shape their communities. I also feel called to help Gospel workers find Sabbath rest, healthy boundaries, and margin, all of which have sustained me for thirteen years. These threads align with my NPO’s vision: to develop leaders who collaborate, listen, serve, and grow.<\/p>\n

The practices that keep me grounded and have become habits include time with God, Sabbath, saying \u201cno\u201d when necessary, exercise, journaling, prayer, a nutritious diet, and rest. They are essential to my identity as an undefended, non-anxious leader. When I honor these practices, I feel myself return to a heavenward focus, my inner being at peace, and my mind ready to lead with clarity and joy.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Mauritanian Desert in Bloom<\/p><\/div>\n

Ultimately, understanding myself intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually profoundly shapes my vocation. I am first a follower of Jesus\u2014learning to love Him with my heart, mind, and soul. I am a leader who seeks to walk alongside and listen to others with compassion and truth. As a nurse practitioner, I want to help people feel seen, heard, and encouraged to grow toward holistic healing and become who God created them to be. As I continue living in the Sahara, I pray that my presence reflects Christ\u2019s calm, undefended, courageous love and hope. May we see the Isaiah 35:1-2 prophecy come true for the people Mauritania:<\/p>\n

“The wilderness and the dry land shall be glad; the desert shall rejoice and blossom like the crocus; it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice with joy and singing<\/em>.” (NIV)<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> OpenAI.\u00a0ChatGPT<\/em>\u00a0(GPT-5.1). \u201cDLDR817 Reflective Essay Assistance.\u201d ChatGPT response to author\u2019s prompt, November 2025.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix<\/em>, 10th Anniversary Revised Kindle ed, ed. Margaret M. Treadwell and Edward W. Beal (Church Publishing, 2017) 312.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid, <\/em>85.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Simon P Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/em>, The Undefended Leader Trilogy, Book 1 (Piquant Editions Ltd, 2007).<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Friedman, A Failure of Nerve, <\/em>18.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are, <\/em>149.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Ibid, <\/em>148.<\/p>\n

[8]<\/a> Nicholas Rowe and Sheila Wise Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma: Finding Emotional Health and Helping Others Flourish<\/em> (InterVarsity Press, 2024), 26.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Revisiting the ideas of Edwin Friedman and Simon Walker this semester has led me to deeper layers of self-awareness, identity, and spiritual formation.[1] Their frameworks have become more than academic concepts; they have become invitations to inner transformation. Friedman\u2019s insight that differentiated, non-anxious leaders often walk alone has touched me deeply, especially in Mauritania, where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":206,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,236,1718],"class_list":["post-42692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-friedman","tag-walker","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/206"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42692"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42692\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42697,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42692\/revisions\/42697"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}