It is time to face something I detest: deep, dark, painful emotions. I would rather run than sit in those emotions. The feelings that come from the injustice of a baby dying of malnutrition outside the door of the hospital. The heartbreak of another mom losing her baby because of incompetent health care providers. Internal decisions of who I can physically or financially help and who will die because I do not or cannot. Heart struggles as I listen to my neighbor beg me once again to find someone in the US or Europe to care for her handicapped daughter and give her a better life. The reality that my dad\u2019s dying brain will likely never again call me by name. What do we do with such deep inequality, pain, and suffering? Lament.<\/p>\n
The Bible provides numerous examples of this spiritual practice. To lament means I must face those deep, dark emotions, fears, and thoughts. It necessitates sitting in the ugly rather than hiding, only looking for the beauty. I would much rather find the silver lining of the storm cloud and move on than let the rain of sorrow engulf me.<\/p>\n
Mark Vroegop defines this spiritual practice of lament as \u201cthe honest cry of a hurting heart wrestling with the paradox of pain and the promise of God\u2019s goodness.\u201d[1]<\/a> These words resonate deeply with me as I wrestle with both the ache of injustice and the goodness of a God who still sees. Lament is scary, and it brings healing. It is not one or the other; it is both-and.<\/p>\n In Healing Leadership Trauma: Finding Emotional Health and Helping Others Flourish, <\/em>Nicolas and Sheila Wise Rowe address the needs and desires of leaders to be seen and heard. They also address the factors that prevent this from happening. They look at how to grieve hurt, heal trauma, and foster spiritual formation that promotes holistic movement forward.[2]<\/a> Lament is a recurring theme throughout the book, as it explores the pursuit of victory and healing in the context of various aspects of trauma.<\/p>\n Lament is a way to help heal the wounds of detachment from our early lives by taking our pain to God and communing with Him in it.[3]<\/a> In healing from neglect and abuse, lament allows us to move beyond the walls of that pain.[4]<\/a> Lament allows those dealing with gender trauma to bring complete healing to those wounds.[5]<\/a><\/p>\n Lament is an ancient spiritual practice. The Bible has an entire book dedicated to lament. A majority of the Psalms are laments. NT Wright defines lament as asking \u201cWhy?\u201d without receiving an answer, allowing us to look beyond our sinful failures and to the broader suffering of mankind.[6]<\/a> Vroegop lays out a four-step Biblical pattern of lament:<\/p>\n This process of lament allows us to realign our hearts to God\u2019s promises, His truth, and to find hope in the darkness. The secular world is also seeking answers in these complex emotions through lament. Dr. Jenny McLaurin provides a lament process that leaves out our Divine Creator:<\/p>\n Both processes reveal that lament, whether sacred or secular, is ultimately a search to deal with pain through connection. Both incorporate the concept of community, whether with God or one another, as integral to the healing process of lament. The Rowes suggest that as leaders seek to forgive and regain trust with others and self, lament will facilitate healing of that connection with God and others.[9]<\/a> When we choose to put in the hard work to heal, we can then lead others to a place of healing and hope.<\/p>\n Through my journey as a healthcare provider and one living in the developing world, I have come to understand the truth of Romans 5:5:\u00a0\u201cHope does not disappoint\u201d<\/em>\u00a0(NASB). As an Enneagram 7, I may never readily run to sit in deep emotions and pain. However, looking at lament as an opportunity to connect more deeply, first with God and then with others, removes some of the fear and uncertainty. In his book\u00a0Redeeming the Past: My Journey from Freedom Fighter to Healer,<\/em>\u00a0Father Michael Lapsley explains hope as \u201cnot utopian or na\u00efve\u201d but instead demands \u201ccommitment, hard work, struggle, and sacrifice.\u201d[10]<\/a> Lament, then, becomes a place where pain meets purpose, and hope is reborn.<\/p>\n \u201cThose who sow with tears shall reap with joyful shouting.\u201d <\/em>Psalm 126:5 (NASB)<\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament<\/em> (Crossway, 2019), 26.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Nicholas Rowe and Sheila Wise Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma: Finding Emotional Health and Helping Others Flourish<\/em>(InterVarsity Press, 2024), 5.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Rowe and Wise Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma, <\/em>50.<\/p>\n [4]<\/a> Ibid, 86.<\/p>\n [5]<\/a> Ibid, 100.<\/p>\n [6]<\/a> N. T. Wright, \u201cChristianity Offers No Answers About the Coronavirus,\u201d Time<\/em>, March 20, 2020, https:\/\/time.com\/5808495\/coronavirus-christianity\/.<\/p>\n [7]<\/a> Vroegop, Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy, 29<\/em>.<\/p>\n [8]<\/a> Dr. Jenny McLaurin, MD, \u201cThe Wisdom of Lament,\u201d Spirituality Health, March 2022, https:\/\/www.spiritualityhealth.com\/the-wisdom-of-lament.<\/p>\n [9]<\/a> Rowe and Wise Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma<\/i>, <\/i>124.<\/p>\n\n
\n
\n
\n
\n