{"id":42552,"date":"2025-11-10T13:54:17","date_gmt":"2025-11-10T21:54:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=42552"},"modified":"2025-11-10T13:57:40","modified_gmt":"2025-11-10T21:57:40","slug":"its-almost-time-to-rest","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/its-almost-time-to-rest\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s Almost Time To Rest!"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Wounds<\/span><\/h2>\n

December 31, 2022 was the last day of a six-year term as a ruling elder at my Presbyterian Church.\u00a0 About a month later, a friend, Steve, and I were at a meeting together and we had to introduce ourselves to the speaker including our position within the church.\u00a0 Steve, who had completed the same six-year term I did, introduced himself as a recovering elder.\u00a0 I wholeheartedly agreed. During the six years we let our music director go, encouraged our youth leader to step down, navigated COVID, had a pastor leave, and dealt with a toxic interim pastor that wounded several people in the church. This experience was one of the reasons for starting the DLGP program.\u00a0 Except for preaching a message one Sunday, I took a sabbath in 2023 from all leadership roles within the church. I felt that I had wounded others and at the same time been wounded myself. I needed to heal from the experience.\u00a0 Leading up to December 31, 2022, I vowed to never step into the elder rule again. I felt that I had wounded others and at the same time been wounded myself.<\/p>\n

In the Introduction of Healing Leadership Trauma<\/em> the author(s) write \u201cLeaders also have issues, struggles, unprocessed pain, and trauma.[1]<\/a>\u00a0 I find comfort in these words to know that I am not the only person to be wounded by serving as a leader in the church.\u00a0 The authors also write \u201cDear Leader, you must not try to heal in isolation. While you may choose to read this book solo, consider inviting a trustworthy family member, friend, or therapist on this journey.\u201d[2]<\/a> I have invited my coach on my journey. Janet has helped me process the healing that is taking place, questioning me throughout if I still have the same attitude about never serving again.<\/p>\n

The Necessity of Rest<\/span><\/h2>\n

As leaders it is our responsibility to ensure that we and those who we lead are taking care of themselves.\u00a0 One way to do that is to ensure that rest is practiced.\u00a0 Rowe and Rowe discuss nine different ways to rest in chapter 11, \u201cThe Necessity of Rest,\u201d[3]<\/a> I want to discuss three of these.<\/p>\n

Rest in Sabbath<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

When I first started meeting with my coach Rest in Sabbath<\/em> become one of the things upon which I focused. I read Peter Scazzero\u2019s The Emotionally Healthy Leader<\/em> and was convicted by Chapter 5, \u201cPractice Sabbath Delight.\u201d [4]<\/a>\u00a0 When my older brother was in medical school he would study for 16 hours on a Saturday but always took Sunday off as a sabbath to spend time with friends and family. This is a practice that I have sought to follow for myself and my kids over the years.\u00a0 Rowe and Rowe write \u201cThe word sabbath<\/em> means \u2018to stop, to take pause, to be at rest.\u2019 The Old Testament command to honor the Sabbath is for our benefit.\u201d[5]<\/a> While I regularly take a sabbath from school work and my job each Sunday, what I have struggled with and have sought to correct is doing housework on the sabbath. \u00a0It seems that there is not enough time during the week to do house repairs, laundry, and\/or clean, and Sunday afternoons seem like the perfect time to get caught up.\u00a0 Am I really being at rest when I clean the house or weed the garden?\u00a0 I am not perfect but over the last year I have sought to truly rest on Sundays.<\/p>\n

Rest in Play<\/span><\/h3>\n

Rowe and Rowe write, \u201cWhen we play, our focus shifts from our worries, reduces stress, and nourishes our minds, body, and soul.\u201d[6]<\/a> This is something Jonathan Haidt discussed in The Anxious Generation<\/em>, the need to let children play.[7]<\/a>\u00a0 While in Cape Town I walked into a toy store and was looking at the various toys and games.\u00a0 There was a lady in the store who was asking an employee for recommendations on a game for their family.\u00a0 When he pointed out UNO, she commented that UNO almost caused a divorce in her marriage.\u00a0 Clearly, someone doesn\u2019t understand the purpose of playing a game is to have fun.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve seen this win at all costs and throw a fit when things do go your way attitude in my kids growing up. But as a family we played most games without keeping score.\u00a0 Going back to UNO, in our family someone would win a round, but we never kept score.\u00a0 Play should be about taking a break from everyday routines and spending time and having fun with those around you.<\/p>\n

Rest in Gratitude<\/span><\/h3>\n

My coach challenged me to read Psalms and explore all the emotion found in them.\u00a0 As I took time to study them, I was amazed at how many of them expressed gratitude toward God. Even those that seemed to start out accusing God of abandoning them ended with the Psalmist praising and thanking God.\u00a0 In the movie The Ultimate Life <\/em>a young Red Stevens leaves his family and along with a hobo<\/em> hops a train.[8]<\/a> Red wakes up to see the hobo writing with his fingers in the air.\u00a0 Red asks him what he is doing, The hobo responds \u201c\u2019I\u2019m making my golden list.\u2019\u2019\u2019 The hobo explains that his ma\u2019 taught him \u00a0and \u201cEvery day, rain or shine, I make a list of ten things that I\u2019m grateful for.\u201d As this program is nearing completion, I want to make a list of ten things that I am grateful for regarding this program.<\/p>\n

I am grateful for:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. For my former co-worker who introduced me to the program.<\/li>\n
  2. New friends who live in different countries\/states. It\u2019s great to say I have a friend who lives in the UK or in northern Africa, or even Minnesota rather than just Ohio.<\/li>\n
  3. The opportunity to travel and do things I never dreamed I would have ever done.<\/li>\n
  4. The opportunity to read books and hear from authors that I would have never picked up or sought to hear.<\/li>\n
  5. The ability to engage in meaningful conversations over very difficult topics and to stay in the room with one another even when we disagree.<\/li>\n
  6. The opportunity to learn about different ministries and ministry contexts and the passion that each one has for their contexts.<\/li>\n
  7. The ability to pursue addressing a problem that I lament over.<\/li>\n
  8. The opportunity to write weekly blogs, something I may consider continuing in the future.<\/li>\n
  9. Having the opportunity to increase my faith by trusting God and trusting the process.<\/li>\n
  10. Learning many things about leadership and the ability to apply my knowledge in my context.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Thanks to each one of you for your friendship, for challenging me with our conversations, and for doing what each one of you does.\u00a0 My prayer is that for each of us that has been wounded by leadership that we would continue in the healing process and use our stories to make us more effective leaders.<\/p>\n

    I also hope that each of us can get some rest after February 15th!\u00a0 We are almost there!<\/p>\n

    ____________________________________________________________<\/p>\n

    [1]<\/a> Nicholas Rowe and Sheila Wise Rowe, Healing Leadership Trauma: Finding Emotional Health and Helping Others Flourish<\/em>, (Grand Rapids, InterVarsity Press, 2024), 1.<\/p>\n

    [2]<\/a> Rowe and Rowe, 5.<\/p>\n

    [3]<\/a> Rowe and Rowe, 144-154.<\/p>\n

    [4]<\/a> Peter Scazzero, The Emotionally Healthy Leader<\/em>, (Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2015).<\/p>\n

    [5]<\/a> Rowe and Rowe, 148.<\/p>\n

    [6]<\/a> Rowe and Rowe, 151.<\/p>\n

    [7]<\/a> Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, (New York, NY: Penguin Press, 2024). <\/em><\/p>\n

    [8]<\/a> The Ultimate Life, <\/em>directed by Michael Landon Jr., (ReelWorks Studie, 2013), DVD, (High Top Releasing, 2013).<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    The Wounds December 31, 2022 was the last day of a six-year term as a ruling elder at my Presbyterian Church.\u00a0 About a month later, a friend, Steve, and I were at a meeting together and we had to introduce ourselves to the speaker including our position within the church.\u00a0 Steve, who had completed the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":200,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3505],"class_list":["post-42552","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-rowe-dlgp03","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/200"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42552"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42552\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42556,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42552\/revisions\/42556"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}