{"id":41740,"date":"2025-04-18T07:47:45","date_gmt":"2025-04-18T14:47:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=41740"},"modified":"2025-04-24T09:56:44","modified_gmt":"2025-04-24T16:56:44","slug":"41740-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/41740-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hamster Wheel:\u00a0How do I get off?\u00a0\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since September 2024, when I decided to return to school, my days have followed a demanding rhythm. Mornings begin with waking the kids, packing lunches, getting everyone ready, and making the school drop-off, all before starting my workday by 7:30 a.m. That early start is often the only moment of peace before the flurry of meetings, requests, tasks, and planning begins. By 3 p.m., it is time to switch gears, picking up the boys from school, getting them settled at home, fed, and supported with homework. From there, it is on to worship, the bedtime routine, and then carving out a moment with my spouse before diving into school assignments. This has been my reality, a constant juggling act. I have always taken pride in my ability to multitask and balance numerous responsibilities at home and in the workplace, often without much help. However, beneath it all is a quiet pressure, the fear that if I drop the ball, I will be seen as less: less of a leader, less of a mother, less of a partner. So, I push myself to do it all.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>In early February, I came down with what I assumed was just a common cold or flu. Determined not to miss any deadlines or my kids’ activities, I kept pushing through, even though I felt exhausted and overwhelmed. I began avoiding my office to escape decision-making pressure, delaying responses and deadlines because I could not focus. Deep down, I convinced myself that simply showing up in my body would be enough. After about a week, I started to feel better and attempted to return to my usual pace, only to fall sick again two weeks later, this time much worse. I was hit with fevers, chills, and a persistent cough, and yet, the mounting pressure of falling behind and losing control kept telling me to push harder.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Then, two weeks ago, while sitting at work, I found myself struggling to catch my breath. Concerned, I called my brother, who is a doctor. He urged me to go to the ER immediately. After a series of tests and bloodwork, the diagnosis came: a collapsed lung and pneumonia. When I spoke with the doctor, he asked me gently, “Are you under\u00a0a lot of<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>stress?” Then he said words that finally cut through the noise: “Your body needs rest. You need to go home, get in bed, and rest.”<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>As I lay in bed, finally surrendering to the rest my body so desperately needed, my mind refused to quiet down. How did I get to this point? I had been going non-stop for so long, yet somehow, I felt I was falling further behind. I could not understand why I was struggling to focus, why the tasks that once came naturally now felt so heavy. Why couldn’t I lead my team the way? Why did everything feel like too much? It felt like I was stuck on a hamster wheel, constantly moving but getting nowhere. I didn’t just want to feel productive again; I wanted to be present at work, home, and school and not feel like I was barely keeping my head above water. I wanted to feel in control again. That is when I picked up Dr. David Rock’s Your Brain at Work, and things began to make sense.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>In Your Brain at Work, David Rock presents a compelling look at how a deeper understanding of our brain’s inner workings can significantly improve productivity and decision-making in the workplace. To make the science accessible and relatable, he introduces two fictional characters, Emily and Paul, who navigate everyday challenges at work. As someone who learns best through real-life examples, I found this approach refreshing. I especially connected with Emily; her experiences felt familiar and validating, particularly when Rock began to unpack the concept of reappraisal, a strategy that resonated deeply with me during this season of life lately.<\/p>\n

Reappraisal is the intentional act of reframing a situation in order to shift its emotional impact. Rather than reacting impulsively, especially in moments of high stress or conflict, you pause, step back, and reconsider the meaning you assign to the event. Reappraisal tends to happen when uncertainty is present, when you cannot predict the outcome of a situation, an alert goes to the brain to pay more attention. That is because uncertainty feels, to the brain, like a threat to your life.[1]<\/a> \u00a0To illustrate this concept, Rock uses the example of Emily, who is new to her role and feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of pitching a project. Accustomed to working independently and taking the lead, Emily now finds herself in a position where success depends on planning, collaboration, and delegation. For someone who values control, the uncertainty surrounding these uncharted road maps becomes deeply unsettling, so much so that it leaves her feeling stuck and paralyzed.<\/p>\n

The concept of reappraisal involves consciously shifting your perspective in order to influence your emotional response and, ultimately, create a better outcome. While reappraisal is typically used to foster a more positive or constructive mindset, it can also take a negative turn. David Rock highlights this through Emily’s experience at lunch, where she interprets her colleagues’ questions as criticisms of her judgment. This negative reappraisal, though subtle, has a powerful impact, reminding us that perceived threats, no matter how small, can trigger significant emotional responses. Even a minor shift in interpretation, when directed the wrong way, can intensify stress and undermine confidence. [2]<\/a><\/p>\n

To prevent falling into negative reappraisal, Rock suggests taking the following steps: [3]<\/a><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Reinterpreting: This form of reappraisal involves shifting your initial emotional reaction to an event. It is about learning not to automatically trust that first negative gut feeling and instead pausing to consider alternative, less emotionally charged interpretations.<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Normalizing: Having an explanation for an experience can ease uncertainty and enhance one’s sense of control. Change management harnesses this principle by naming the emotional stages people commonly experience during transitions, such as denial, frustration, or anger. This helps reduce the brain’s threat response.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Reordering: The brain organizes information in nested hierarchies, where each idea is stored in relation to others. This structure is similar to that of an organizational chart: Every mental “map” is positioned above, below, or beside other maps, creating a layered and interconnected system of meaning and association.<\/span><\/li>\n
  4. Repositioning: finding a new position from which to view and analyze things.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    As I read and reflected on the four types of reappraisal, I came to a humbling realization: I had fallen into the same patterns as Emily. In my effort to carry everything independently, I had avoided delegating and neglected to lean on the support of my team and even my spouse. I let the negative thoughts in my mind take hold, fueling frustration and stress and ultimately taking a toll on my physical health. Ironically, being forced to slow down and rest gave me the space to read this book, and in doing so, I began to see that I do not have to believe every critical or doubtful thought that runs through my head. I am not alone in balancing school, work, and home life. Asking for help does not make me less capable. Leaving work early to care for myself or my kids does not make me a poor employee or a bad mother. Taking time to study does not mean I am falling short elsewhere. Through this process, I have learned that by applying these four reappraisal strategies, I can shift how I respond to stress and anxiety. I can redirect that energy toward more constructive, empowering outcomes for myself and those around me.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \u00a0<\/span>Most importantly, as I reflected on what I had learned from this book, I began to consider the possibility of a fifth type of reappraisal I had not been practicing and, to my shame, had not embraced as a pastor. This is the reappraisal of Jesus and the profound impact He has had on my life. He has declared that I am worthy, His child, and His love and grace cover me daily.\u00a0Yet<\/span>, I often forget this truth. Instead of leaning into the love and grace He has so freely given, I find myself being harsh and destructive toward myself and sometimes others. When we truly grasp and accept His unconditional love for us, we begin to walk in the light of that love. In doing so, not only do we find grace for ourselves, but we can also extend that grace to those around us.<\/span><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    [1]<\/a> Rock, pg.122<\/p>\n

    [2]<\/a> Rock, pg. 127<\/p>\n

    [3]<\/a> Rock, Pgs. 128-130<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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