This week\u2019s cohort zoom chat made me cry because the vision of my life bubbled up in heat inside of me. I do believe that trauma recovery should change the world and is a message that is entirely about the Kingdom of God.<\/p>\n
I really enjoy our cohort Zoom chats and the contributions everyone brings. I can, however, find it really challenging to navigate when to jump in and when to give space for others. Maybe it\u2019s because I am a pastor and was a schoolteacher, but I really do count who has spoken and who hasn\u2019t, and I can\u2019t speak until others have! This week was painful because I didn\u2019t ask the only question I really wanted to ask our guest speaker. Why not? Probably because \u2018emotions can make even the best of us into idiots, driving us away from clear thinking.\u2019[1]<\/a> I wanted the answer so much and knew I wouldn\u2019t have enough time to explore it deeply and so instead I found myself writing a list of the possible answers he may give while I was on the zoom. This is the question:<\/p>\n <\/p>\n WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU TO CAUSE YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY ARE MORE IMPORTANT IN LEADERSHIP THAN A TITLE, POSITION AND HOW OTHERS VIEW YOU? <\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n I have been around too many leaders who have used power to harm people. I have been around leaders who are deeply insecure and those who use others to build their reputation. I have seen the harm that it causes. I want to know what happened in the life of Jules Glanzer and actually also some of my cohort peers. What shifted them away from the expected and accepted leadership culture that encourages people to seek after personal gain rather than integrity? This is what I wrote down during the zoom, to guess what he or others may say for the reason they care about integrity in leadership:<\/p>\n I hold the view so passionately that doing the work on our subconscious and heart is vital and Parrish opens his book with a quote from Cordelia Fine to remind us to \u2018never forgot that your unconscious is smarter than you, faster than you, and more powerful than you. It may even control you. You will never know all of its secrets.\u2019[2]<\/a> Leaders need to do the hard work of paying attention to our greatest danger, because arguably \u2018the most perilous challenges are those that lurk in the pastor’s inner world.\u2019[3]<\/a> I believe this is the journey to integrity where leaders can \u2018use their power rightly: to protect, defend, nurture, and provide for those entrusted to their care.\u2019[4]<\/a><\/p>\n What cultures can stop integrity being held as a shared aim? Last week I quoted Glanzer who articulates \u2018we live in a BCD (blame, complain, and defend) culture. It is always someone else’s fault. The situation is bad. I am a victim. I have my rights.\u2019[5]<\/a> Parrish would suggest that those who have this victim mindset are those who lack self-accountability and \u2018tend to run on autopilot\u2019.<\/p>\n Parrish continues to potentially give the reasons for why some leaders don\u2019t prioritize their own character and the journey to integrity. He proposes in agreement with Glanzer, that rather than taking responsibility, \u2018they don\u2019t take responsibility for their mistakes. Instead, they always try to blame other people, circumstances, or bad luck- nothings ever their fault.\u2019 He exhorts us all that \u2018there is always an action you can control, however tiny, that helps you achieve progress.\u2019[6]<\/a><\/p>\n Parrish then explores another possible reason alongside the instinctive ability to blame and complain, that people seem to have an aversion to taking responsibility. He suggests it\u2019s inertia. He explains that \u2018the Latin word inertia means literally “inertness”: that is, laziness or idleness.\u2019[7]<\/a> He proposes that it is \u2018why changing our minds is hard\u2026 and keeps us in jobs we hate and in relationships that don’t make us happy, because in both cases we know what to expect and it’s comforting to have our expectations reliably met.\u2019[8]<\/a> He continues to explain the comfort that can be found in living in dysfunction and having a lack of desire to focus on change because \u2018keeping things the way they are requires almost no effort. This helps explain why we get complacent.\u2019[9]<\/a><\/p>\n Transformation and facing the pain of past hurts and childhood wounds can be exhausting and relentless, and so the alternative to long term healing could fuel our human \u2018desire to stay in our comfort zone, relying on old techniques or standards even when they\u2019re no longer optimal\u2019.[10]<\/strong><\/em><\/a> Alternatively the avoidance could be due to shame of our humanity and fragility. Parrish explains that \u2018trying to avoid responsibility for your decisions, your actions, or their outcomes, though, is tantamount to pretending you don’t have limitations.\u2019[11]<\/a><\/p>\n I am trying to understand more about why some leaders want to avoid the deep work of trauma recovery and instead seek status and affirmation, where instead of their commitment to integrity, the metrics of their success are money, influence and power.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n #Parrish #DLGP04 #Integrity<\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Shane Parrish. Clear Thinking. The Art and Science of Making Better Decisions.<\/em> Penguin. 2023. 15.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Shane Parrish. Clear Thinking. The Art and Science of Making Better Decisions.<\/em> Penguin. 2023. Page 1<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Tom Nelson. The Flourishing Pastor<\/em>. Recovering The Lost Art of Shepherd Leadership<\/em>. (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2021), 47.<\/p>\n [4]<\/a> Glenn Packiam, The Resilient Pastor: Leading Your Church in a Rapidly Changing World<\/em> (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2022),197.<\/p>\n [5]<\/a> Jules Glanzer. The Sound of Leadership. Kingdom Notes to Fine Tune Your Life and Influence<\/em>. Invite Press. 2023. 110.<\/p>\n [6]<\/a> Shane Parrish. Clear Thinking. <\/em>4.<\/p>\n [7]<\/a> Ibid.30.<\/p>\n [8]<\/a> Ibid. 31.<\/p>\n\n