In 2010, I entered a new senior leadership role with an organic produce distributor in Portland, Oregon.\u00a0 As part of my onboarding and development, the Board of Directors requested that I attend a 3-day class with Josh, our CEO. \u00a0It was called \u201cSpeaking with Conviction.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0We were introduced to our instructor and a dozen other local professionals.\u00a0 Initially, I thought I would gain a few key insights about public speaking to bolster my current approach. \u00a0However, early into the training, we knew something was different about our instructor\u2019s approach but were unsure why.\u00a0 She shared that she was not a certified public speaking instructor, but instead an actor out of New York City.\u00a0 Surprised by her statement, we reviewed the schedule and learned we had three opportunities to present in front of our colleagues.\u00a0 We were instructed to read a short excerpt from a novel we enjoyed, followed by informational and persuasive presentations on subsequent days.<\/p>\n
I picked a passage from Tolkien\u2019s The Return of the King<\/em>.\u00a0 It was a short and tense exchange between Gandalf and the Lord of the Nazgul.\u00a0 As our training progressed and I watched others read their captions, it became apparent that it was more than reading; I would need to act out these roles with conviction.\u00a0 We incorporated our training and spread out as we read over the lines while walking the halls outside the classroom in preparation for the moment.\u00a0 While I am an effective presenter, the thought of acting out these roles on a stage in front of strangers was an enormous stretch.\u00a0 I made notes in the margins highlighting inflection points and mimicked different voices representing these two powerful characters.\u00a0 I walked out onto the stage and blew the audience away.\u00a0 I was nervous but found the energy to step into the roles and convey their stories.\u00a0 When I got home that evening, I broke out my book and took 2 minutes to perform for my wife and daughter.\u00a0 My daughter\u2019s first response to me was, \u201cThat is so NOT you!\u201d Darcy said, \u201cYes, that isn\u2019t you.\u00a0 Where did that come from?\u201d\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t quite sure myself, but I was excited.<\/p>\n Most attendees picked comfortable and familiar materials for the instructional presentation, which, if done correctly, could be reformatted for the final persuasive presentation. I was thankful that I could use familiar materials and didn\u2019t have to prepare much in advance. However, this time, it didn\u2019t work out as well. While I find joy in presenting operational improvements and change management, I fell back into a more familiar and automatic approach of Kahneman\u2019s System 1.[1]<\/a>\u00a0 I was in operator mode, working through the slides with minimal effort or emotion and overconfident in the message. My performance came across as methodical and uninspiring to the audience.\u00a0 When I wrapped up at the ten-minute mark, the first words out of the instructor\u2019s mouth were, \u201cWhat happened to Gandalf?\u201d\u00a0 I was mortified.<\/p>\n It was a difficult lesson, and Kahneman\u2019s System 2 agent took over on my drive home that evening. I processed the speech over thirty minutes and explored my self-conscious behaviors.[2]<\/a>\u00a0 I would have another opportunity to perform the next day, but I needed to accomplish some work first.\u00a0 Following the recommendations, I sat at our kitchen table and retooled my instructional presentation to fit a more persuasive format.\u00a0 As I reformatted each slide and the corresponding comments, I felt worse. By 10 p.m., I found myself bewildered and mentally fatigued.\u00a0 The instructor had filmed the second presentation, and I watched the first 2 minutes and turned it off.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t working, and the likelihood was it would not improve. \u00a0As I prepared for bed, my wife asked, \u201cAre you ready for tomorrow?\u00a0 It\u2019s your final presentation.\u201d<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t dare share my thoughts about the video with her, but I did have a backup plan. \u201cNot quite yet,\u201d I told her. But I think I am close.\u201d\u00a0 I had something completely different in mind. It was a bit risky, but I was willing to go there and see what happened. I set my alarm for 4 a.m. and went to sleep. I had under two hours in the morning to figure it out.<\/p>\n Who are you?<\/strong><\/p>\n Reading through The Undefended Leader <\/em>this week,<\/em> I was reminded that \u201cLeadership is about who you are, not what you know or what skills you have.\u201d[3]<\/a>\u00a0 The audience observing my informational presentation could have cared less about my experience in operations.\u00a0 They wanted to witness more of who I was and my performance.\u00a0 Utilizing Walker\u2019s front and back stages, I was too concerned about my appearance on the stage being just right to win approval or gain success.[4]<\/a>\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until I watched the video of my presentation that I gathered enough courage and was willing to show my true performance and allow my fellow performers to come backstage.[5]<\/a><\/p>\n On the final day of our training, I realized that success on the stage would not be measured by the power I had traditionally displayed throughout my career. Historically, I relied heavily on experience, positional power, and moments of expertise to help drive organizational change and success.\u00a0 Utilizing a different definition of success, I needed to shift to personality power and encourage others to follow along.[6]<\/a><\/p>\n To be successful on the stage at that precise moment, I would need to relinquish control of what I knew as comfort and be willing to navigate through discomfort and ambiguity.\u00a0 In Leadersmithing,<\/em> Eve Poole defines this as one of the 17 Critical Incidents.\u00a0 She introduces a winning hand primarily filled with the suit of diamonds, which focuses on sharpness and the ability of the leader to deploy oneself across a full range of leadership situations. [7]<\/a> Leveraging these new and different skill sets would require me to let go and experience an entirely different form of freedom.<\/p>\n Backstage work and the return of Gandalf<\/strong><\/p>\n The Holy Spirit works in mysterious ways. This was one of those times.\u00a0 I woke up at 4 a.m. and felt refreshed as I prayed through this opportunity. I made short work of my persuasive presentation.\u00a0 It was unorthodox and a complete shift.\u00a0 The entire presentation consisted of four images, a handful of bullet points scribbled onto a 3×5 card, and a story.\u00a0 It met the criteria for the day.\u00a0 No PowerPoint deck with corporate branding, graphs, charts, or other bells and whistles.\u00a0 As a leader, I needed to exhibit the ability to leave the safety and familiarity of operational excellence and cast a completely new vision in this presentation.[8]<\/a> It was a risk, and as it turned out, I would be the day’s last presentation\u2014the final act.<\/p>\n My presentation began by sharing the need to build homes for those living on the margins. I referred to a home build our family participated in in Ensenada, Mexico, a few months prior. \u00a0I also shared the importance of not underestimating the difference someone can make in the lives of others if they try.\u00a0 In this example, it was my 10-year-old daughter raising enough funds through Christmas gifts and her birthday to pay for her trip.\u00a0 But the more dominant thread was one of community and love and being the hands and feet of Jesus.\u00a0 Our friends who helped coordinate and lead the build had lost their youngest daughter when she was struck and killed by an automobile near their home.\u00a0 That young girl loved building homes, and their family continues today’s mission by building in her memory.\u00a0 I concluded by asking the audience a simple question, \u201cWill you join me on this journey?\u201d<\/p>\n The experience emotionally drained me. As I prepared to answer questions, I began to look more intently at the faces in the audience.\u00a0 Most of them were in tears.\u00a0 One woman raised her hand and said, \u201cWhere do I sign up for the next build?\u00a0 I am ready to go now!\u201d<\/p>\n Lastly, I glanced at the instructor. She reached over to turn off the video camera, looked up, and asked me one question.\u00a0 \u201cWhen did you start working on your presentation?\u201d<\/p>\n I paused for a second before answering.\u00a0 \u201c4 a.m. this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n She smiled back at me, stood up, and yelled, \u201cGandalf is back!\u201d<\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow,<\/em> (New York, NY: Farrar, Strous, and Giroux, 2013, 20.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow,<\/em> (New York, NY: Farrar, Strous, and Giroux, 2013), 39.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Simon P. Walker, The Undefended Leader,<\/em> (Carlisle, UK: Piquant Editions, Ltd., 2010), 9.<\/p>\n [4]<\/a> Walker, 29.<\/p>\n [5]<\/a> Walker, 29.<\/p>\n [6]<\/a> Walker, 40-41.<\/p>\n