I don\u2019t get the opportunity to travel much, but when I do, I love to start conversations with people I run into. These conversations are intentional as I aim to share the Gospel at least five times while away from home. Several years ago, I worked logistics for an outdoor event in Hermiston, Oregon, when I started one of these conversations. I arrived on-site on a Tuesday afternoon, and a few forklifts, light towers, and support equipment had already been delivered. Due to the presence of those items, security was on-site as well. I went over to introduce myself to the young man who was in his late twenties and had been assigned to the day shift. When he introduced himself as \u201cPeter\u201d, I quickly responded, \u201cPeter – that is a biblical name. Are your parents religious?\u201d I was surprised when he gave me \u201cthe look\u201d, and I instantly knew they were not religious. We talked a bit more, chatting through the standard list of small-talk topics. Then I tried again, \u201cTell me the story of how your parents picked out the name Peter.\u201d \u00a0He smiled and said, \u201cMy older brother really liked the movie Peter Pan, so my parents decided to name me Peter.\u201d Surprised that his name had no biblical connection whatsoever, I blurted out, \u201cLet me guess\u2026 your middle name is Pan.\u201d I was even more shocked when he said, \u201cYES!\u201d<\/p>\n
I have shared this story more times than I can remember, not because of its success but because of my failure to start a spiritual conversation. I want people to know that sharing the Gospel does not always go as planned, and not every conversation ends with a powerful story of salvation. Sometimes, the conversation revolves around a classic children\u2019s movie instead. Nonetheless, sharing this failure has been my feeble attempt at growing my Undefended Leadership style that Simon Walker describes in his book, Leading Out of Who You Are<\/em>: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/em>.<\/p>\n Walker bases the premise of this book on the theater metaphor, which psychologist Erving Goffman first developed in the 1960s.[1]<\/a> In Goffman’s original metaphor, the theater represents the wholeness of a leader and is subsequently broken into two stages. The Front Stage<\/em> represents the part of a leader’s life that is on display for all to see. From this \u201cstage\u201d, a leader articulates vision, inspires action, and influences the audience. Yet the Front Stage<\/em> cannot exist without the Back Stage<\/em>. The Backstage<\/em> holds the things that the audience finds less desirable or that the leader does not want the audience to have access to.[2]<\/a> Simon articulates a list of items often kept Backstage. <\/em>They include deep emotion, doubts, confusion, defeats, struggles, and uncertainties.[3]<\/a> These two spaces make up a leader, with each area intrinsically dependent on the other for survival.[4]<\/a><\/p>\n In the later part of the book, Walker explores the roots of the Defended Self and breaks down the defended ego into four categories: Shaping, Defining, Adapting, and Defending. After unpacking the four categories, he gives practical steps to move from the undesirable Defended Self to the desirable Undefended Self.[5]<\/a> But for me, the concept of leading as a Child was worth the price of admission. I want my Backstage<\/em> to be heavily influenced by the light and playful touch of a child who is \u201cunaware of all the theory about why things do or don\u2019t work. He [the leader] comes at things without years of experience and baggage, and sometimes that is just what enables you to see the situation as it really is rather than you may expect it to be<\/em>\u2026\u201d[6]<\/a> [7]<\/a><\/p>\n Leading from that kind of childlike approach in the Backstage<\/em> could have helped me to better understand and cope with my Front Stage<\/em> interaction with Peter. In the days following that initial conversation, I got to know Peter a little bit better. I found out that he was losing his sight due to a rare form of cancer. Unless something miraculous happened soon, he would never see his young daughter’s face again, and it would be unlikely that he would make it to her tenth birthday. I offered to pray with him, but he declined. Outside of childlike faith, my Back Room<\/em> emotions don\u2019t know what to do with that.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Simon P. Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/em> (Piquant Publishing, 2007), 24.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Walker, 32.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Walker, 25.<\/p>\n [4]<\/a> Walker, 28.<\/p>\n [5]<\/a> Walker, 122\u201323.<\/p>\n