{"id":41063,"date":"2025-03-07T00:57:26","date_gmt":"2025-03-07T08:57:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=41063"},"modified":"2025-03-07T01:10:52","modified_gmt":"2025-03-07T09:10:52","slug":"how-to-beat-delta-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/how-to-beat-delta-days\/","title":{"rendered":"Navigating \u201cDelta Days\u201d and Returning to Joy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">I still remember my first week in North Africa. I sat in a small room, staring at my two duffel bags\u2014the only things that held my entire life\u2014and felt a wave of uncertainty wash over me. <em>I don\u2019t think I have the capacity to truly love the people here,<\/em> I thought.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Each time I\u2019ve wrestled with this feeling, I\u2019ve sensed the Lord\u2019s gentle response: <em>No, you can\u2019t. But I can.<\/em> It didn\u2019t happen all at once, but over time, God\u2019s love for these people took root in me\u2014and that love became a driving force in my life.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">I once heard another expat describe the hardest days overseas as &#8220;Delta Days&#8221;\u2014the days that make you want to book the next flight home. I\u2019ve certainly had my share. But every time I consider leaving, I picture the faces of my friends, the burdens they carry, and this complex, challenging country that has woven itself into my life. These aren\u2019t just acquaintances; these are relationships that anchor me here.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Living overseas has shown me just how much relationships matter. In a challenging environment, healthy connections provide strength and stability. But when they\u2019re strained, they can drain you, wear you down, and even steal your joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">In <em>Rare Leadership<\/em>, Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder outline four essential RARE habits that define exceptional leaders. They emphasize the critical role of identity and belonging, stating, \u201cThe four RARE habits of exceptional leaders are built around identity and belonging.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn1\" name=\"_ftnref1\">[1]<\/a> These habits include:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>R<\/strong> \u2013 Remain relational (fostering belonging)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>A<\/strong> \u2013 Act like yourself (rooted in identity)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>R<\/strong> \u2013 Return to joy (finding gladness in being together)<\/span><\/li>\n<li><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>E<\/strong> \u2013 Endure hardships well (using challenges to strengthen connection)<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">In the remainder of this post, I will focus on two specific habits from their RARE leadership framework: <strong>R\u2014Remain Relational (Belonging)<\/strong> and <strong>R\u2014Return to Joy (Being Glad Together)<\/strong>. These habits, I believe, are crucial to sustaining both leadership and relationships in challenging environments.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Aside from physical illnesses that may necessitate leaving North Africa, I believe the most significant factors contributing to turnover among overseas workers is the breakdown of relationships and the loss of joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Remaining Relational<\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Warner and Wilder are not alone in recognizing the critical role of relationships. In his book <em>Making Your Partnership Work<\/em>, the late Daniel Rickett highlights the importance of relationships, which he refers to as &#8220;alliance champions.&#8221; He writes:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\"><span style=\"color: #000000\"><em>Partnership is nothing if it is not personal. It\u2019s all about relationships. In the end, it comes down to how people relate to each other and how they work together. Sounds simple. But in actuality, the ability to work well together is the function of many factors such as shared values, trust, communication, expectations, competency, interpersonal skills, and cross-cultural skills, just to name a few. The most significant factors reside in individuals and the commitments they share.<\/em><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn2\" name=\"_ftnref2\">[2]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Similarly, Warner and Wilder discuss a similar idea through the concept of &#8220;identity groups,&#8221; emphasizing the importance of vulnerability in leadership. They write:<\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px\"><span style=\"color: #000000\"><em>As leaders, we need to have some place where we can take off our mask and show our weakness. We need people around who will protect us in our weak state long enough to heal and grow. We need people who remind us of who we are.<\/em> <a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn3\" name=\"_ftnref3\">[3]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Finding identity groups or alliance champions can be especially challenging in overseas work. There is often a strange tension between the need to grow personally and the pressure to \u201cjust do something\u201d \u2014 to take action and make an immediate impact. After reading <em>Rare Leadership<\/em> and reflecting on my observations, I believe many overseas workers often \u201c[mistake] management for leadership.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn4\" name=\"_ftnref4\">[4]<\/a> There\u2019s an inherent pressure to \u201cfix\u201d the country, which often leads to relationships being pushed aside in favor of task completion. While this isn\u2019t done intentionally, it\u2019s a common pitfall we can easily fall into when working overseas. However, Warner and Wilder caution, \u201cForgetting our group identity and acting in isolation may seem like a small thing. But small things like this damage relationships.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn5\" name=\"_ftnref5\">[5]<\/a> Similarly, Lieberman and Long, in <em>The Molecule of More<\/em>, stress the fundamental need for affiliative relationships, writing, \u201cOur brain needs affiliative relationships just to stay alive.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn6\" name=\"_ftnref6\">[6]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span style=\"color: #000000\"><strong>Returning to Joy <\/strong><\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Warner and Wilder write, \u201cReturning to joy may just be the most important habit you can develop as a leader.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn7\" name=\"_ftnref7\">[7]<\/a> They go on to say, \u201cDropping joy levels create risks the way dry conditions affect a forest. Many leadership failures can be traced to declining joy levels in leadership teams, marriages, and families. As joy drops, the \u2018fire danger\u2019 reaches critical levels without being noticed. RARE leadership is powered by joy.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn8\" name=\"_ftnref8\">[8]<\/a> This is a narrative often heard about overseas workers. In my own context, I&#8217;ve observed a pervasive emotional unhealthiness that significantly inhibits people from experiencing joy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">The ability to <em>return to joy<\/em> is a sign of emotional maturity, one of the RARE habits Warner and Wilder discuss in their book. They argue that the current crisis in leadership stems from a lack of these mature, fast-track<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn9\" name=\"_ftnref9\">[9]<\/a> skills. Warner and Wilder state, \u201cPeople who build fast-track skills into habits operate with greater love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn10\" name=\"_ftnref10\">[10]<\/a> <strong>I often find myself wondering how we, as overseas workers, can effectively impact others\u2014preaching freedom in Christ and joy\u2014if we aren\u2019t experiencing that freedom ourselves and are struggling to find joy?<\/strong> It\u2019s something I\u2019ve had to wrestle with, especially on those \u201cDelta Days\u201d when everything feels like it\u2019s falling apart.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">Ultimately, being relational and returning to joy are not things we can accomplish in our own strength. On my own, my instinct is often to feel like <em>I don\u2019t have the capacity to truly love the people here<\/em>. And when I\u2019m having those \u201cDelta Days,\u201d the last thing I feel like doing is <em>returning to joy<\/em>. Yet, I agree with the authors when they write, \u201cWe have found in our study of Scripture and brain science that joy, that feeling of well-being in the deepest part of our soul, is primarily relational. To the human brain, joy is always relational.\u201d<a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftn11\" name=\"_ftnref11\">[11]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\">This reminds me that joy isn\u2019t just an individual pursuit\u2014it\u2019s something that thrives in connection with others. Even on difficult days, when I can\u2019t muster it on my own, joy can still be found in the relationships around me, with God and others leading the way.<\/span><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref1\" name=\"_ftn1\">[1]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, <em>Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/em> (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016), 46, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref2\" name=\"_ftn2\">[2]<\/a> Daniel Rickett, <em>Making Your Partnership Work<\/em> (Daniel Rickett, 2014), 56, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref3\" name=\"_ftn3\">[3]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership, 53, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref4\" name=\"_ftn4\">[4]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership, 20, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref5\" name=\"_ftn5\">[5]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership, 33, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref6\" name=\"_ftn6\">[6]<\/a> Daniel Z. Lieberman and Michael E. Long, The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity\u2014and Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race (Dallas: BenBella Books, 2018), 201, Kindle Edition.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref7\" name=\"_ftn7\">[7]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, <em>Rare Leadership,<\/em>\u00a0171, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref8\" name=\"_ftn8\">[8]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership, 24, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref9\" name=\"_ftn9\">[9]<\/a> Did you know that there is a system in the brain that operates faster than conscious thought? We call it the fast-track or \u201cmaster\u201d system. People have known for years that there are things happening in the brain we cannot quite catch consciously. While most people have been looking below consciousness for that activity, we are only now discovering there is activity above consciousness. This supra-conscious action does its work faster than we can \u201ckeep up\u201d consciously.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref10\" name=\"_ftn10\">[10]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership, 24, Kindle.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #000000\"><a style=\"color: #000000\" href=\"#_ftnref11\" name=\"_ftn11\">[11]<\/a> Ibid.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I still remember my first week in North Africa. I sat in a small room, staring at my two duffel bags\u2014the only things that held my entire life\u2014and felt a wave of uncertainty wash over me. I don\u2019t think I have the capacity to truly love the people here, I thought. Each time I\u2019ve wrestled [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":208,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,2594,2595],"class_list":["post-41063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-warner","tag-wilder","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/208"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41063"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41069,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41063\/revisions\/41069"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}