{"id":41012,"date":"2025-03-06T11:34:09","date_gmt":"2025-03-06T19:34:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=41012"},"modified":"2025-03-06T11:34:09","modified_gmt":"2025-03-06T19:34:09","slug":"they-are-people-not-problems","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/they-are-people-not-problems\/","title":{"rendered":"They are People not Problems"},"content":{"rendered":"

We had just finished a lovely evening celebrating a friend\u2019s birthday at the only chain restaurant in my country, PAUL.<\/em> This bakery-restaurant combination attracts many foreigners and affluent citizens. Due to the clientele, it also draws beggars hoping for charity or food. As we stepped outside, I noticed the beggar children just as they noticed us. These children have been trained to tug at purse strings, jam door locks, and fake injuries or even pretend to be run over to gain attention and, hopefully, some money. The short walk from the restaurant door to being safely locked inside the car can be stressful. Dealing with aggressive children is possibly one of the most challenging aspects of living in Africa for me. Sometimes, I give them food or water, ignore them, ask them to leave us alone, or push away little hands reaching for my wallet. Nothing alleviates the situation. I feel heartbroken about their plight and confused about what I can do. I want to use my resources wisely, yet those seem to worsen the situation, whether I give them or not.<\/p>\n

Poverty is a wicked problem. It is a complicated, multifaceted issue with no easy solution. In my context, I see many people burning out because of the challenges surrounding us. Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/em> presents four practices that leaders can implement despite their circumstances. As the title indicates, these actions can foster trust, joy, and engagement rather than burnout and discouragement. Following our discussion last week on wicked problems, I found this book to be a timely read and applicable to situations like those I encounter with beggars<\/p>\n

The authors, Marcus Warner, a former pastor and professor, and Jim Wilder, a clinic psychologist, combine their expertise to address leadership from a neuro-theological perspective.[1]<\/a> They suggest that identity and relational belonging lead to transformation. The book presents four habits, abbreviated as RARE, that leaders can develop around identity and belonging that cultivate emotional maturity and transformation.[2]<\/a><\/p>\n

R: Remain relational\u2014Keep relationships bigger than the problems.[3]<\/a>
\nA: Act like yourself\u2014Allow the heart of Christ to work through you.[4]<\/a>
\nR: Return to joy\u2014Allow peace and joy to referee <\/em>your emotions.[5]<\/a>
\nE: Endure hardships well\u2014Build your emotional capacity to suffer well. [6]<\/a><\/p>\n

Of these four habits, remaining relational is the area I need the most work in. I like to think that I can \u201ckeep relationships bigger than problems.\u201d[7]<\/a> If I am honest, Africa presents many big problems that can easily compete for relationships. The book proposes a better option: joy-driven leaders who can \u201csolve problems in a way that makes relationships stronger when they are finished.\u201d[8]<\/a> Four strategies are given to help keep relationships bigger than the problem: curiosity,[9]<\/a> appreciation,[10]<\/a> kindness,[11]<\/a> and envelope conversations.[12]<\/a> Rather than discuss each of these linearly, I will try to weave these into the situation I shared at the beginning of my post. Regretfully, I have usually responded to the beggar children as problems rather than people for the past twelve years. Last Friday night, as I stepped out of the restaurant, the Holy Spirit guided and directed me to respond in a new and creative that allowed me to remain relational.<\/em><\/p>\n

As the children approached us, a girl grabbed my arm and asked me for \u201ccharity.\u201d I stopped. I smiled at her, took her hand in mine, and led her to a corner of the sidewalk. I looked at her and asked her name. The first strategy is to be curious, which helps us remain relational<\/strong>.[13]<\/a> Chad Hall, author of The Coaching Mindset, <\/em>suggests that the opposite of curiosity is judgment.[14]<\/a> My response of curiosity instead of judgment piqued the other children’s curiosity. They left my friends and ran over to me. Eagerly, they started telling me what their names were. I went around the little circle a few times, repeating the names. They repeated mine, giggling. Collectively, we were experiencing kindness or \u201cshared joy.\u201d<\/strong>[15]<\/a>After a few rounds of our game, I waved goodbye to my new little friends, walked over to the car, no longer harassed, and drove off. That night, \u201cthose beggar children\u201d became Brahim, Fatimatou, Mame, Aishe, Miriam, and Oumoukheir. The problem of poverty and begging had been enveloped in a relational conversation<\/strong> with these little people.[16]<\/a> Perhaps for a moment, I went from being \u201ca white lady\u201d to a fun auntie with a sparkle in her eye. In this brief interaction we were able to appreciate<\/strong> one another. I experienced how \u201cappreciation attracts, while resentment repels.\u201d[17]<\/a> Rather than a sad and hopeless spirit, I left with joy in my heart.<\/p>\n

Rare Leadership<\/em> is filled with insightful truths, application, and encouragement for those seeking to be Godly leaders transformed through our identity and belonging to Christ. The God of the Universe demonstrated the most loving and relational act by stepping into our world, seeing us, knowing us, and loving us. As we strive to be\u00a0RARE, leaders\u2014remaining relational, acting like ourselves, returning to joy, and enduring hardships well\u2014may we reflect His love in how we lead, serve, and respond to those around us. That night, a simple question, \u201cWhat is your name?\u201d showed me the power of being a RARE leader. What moments have shaped your RARE leadership journey?<\/p>\n

\n

[1]<\/a> \u201cRare Leadership in the Workplace: Life Model Works,\u201d 2021, https:\/\/lifemodelworks.org\/rare-leadership-in-the-workplace\/.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits For Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/em> (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2016), 46.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid, <\/em>123.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Ibid, 141.<\/em><\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Ibid, 159<\/em><\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Ibid, <\/em>175.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Ibid, <\/em>123.<\/p>\n

[8]<\/a> Ibid, <\/em>127.<\/p>\n

[9]<\/a> Ibid, 129.<\/em><\/p>\n

[10]<\/a> Ibid, 131.<\/em><\/p>\n

[11]<\/a> Ibid, 132.<\/em><\/p>\n

[12]<\/a> Ibid, 133.<\/em><\/p>\n

[13]<\/a> Ibid, 129-130.<\/em><\/p>\n

[14]<\/a> Chad Hall, The Coaching Mindset: Eight Ways to Think Like a Coach<\/em> (Chad W. Hall, 2016), 16.<\/p>\n

[15]<\/a> Warner, Rare Leadership, 132.<\/em><\/p>\n

[16]<\/a> Ibid, 133.<\/em><\/p>\n

[17]<\/a> Ibid, 131.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We had just finished a lovely evening celebrating a friend\u2019s birthday at the only chain restaurant in my country, PAUL. This bakery-restaurant combination attracts many foreigners and affluent citizens. Due to the clientele, it also draws beggars hoping for charity or food. As we stepped outside, I noticed the beggar children just as they noticed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":206,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,2594,2595],"class_list":["post-41012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-warner","tag-wilder","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/206"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41012"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41013,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41012\/revisions\/41013"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}