{"id":40995,"date":"2025-03-06T05:36:36","date_gmt":"2025-03-06T13:36:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=40995"},"modified":"2025-03-06T05:36:36","modified_gmt":"2025-03-06T13:36:36","slug":"leadership-that-is-resilient-relational-and-rare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/leadership-that-is-resilient-relational-and-rare\/","title":{"rendered":"Leadership That Is Resilient, Relational, and RARE"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s clear there\u2019s a \u201ccontrol factor\u201d at play.<\/span><\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t that often the case in a church?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

You\u2019re on staff, and they pay you for your expertise. But so often, there\u2019s at least one volunteer who is quite sure they know just as much as you do.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They manage to get onto the committee with which you collaborate, and then they take over. So much for collaborating.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As I\u2019ve been reading Warner and Wilder\u2019s book, <\/span>Rare Leadership; 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/span><\/i>, I keep thinking of this situation at my church. I definitely don\u2019t have this dynamic figured out yet; I am in prayer that we\u2019ll come to a really comfortable place (it\u2019s been about a year), but it\u2019s a work in progress. I know now from Warner and Wilder that I must always prioritize the relationship itself over solving problems.<\/span><\/p>\n

This struggle isn\u2019t unique to me\u2014it\u2019s a reality in leadership, especially in ministry. When control takes priority over connection, relationships suffer. Warner and Wilder\u2019s <\/span>Rare Leadership<\/span><\/i> offers a compelling alternative: leadership rooted in relational strength, emotional resilience, and identity-based integrity rather than reactivity or power struggles.<\/span><\/p>\n

Their model aligns with biblical principles of servant leadership, as seen in Christ\u2019s example of leading through relationship rather than control (John 15:15). It also resonates with neuroscientific insights, showing how leaders function best when they engage relationally rather than getting stuck in survival mode. <\/span>The four habits noted in the title are:<\/b><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Remain Relational<\/b><\/li>\n
  2. Act Like Yourself<\/b><\/li>\n
  3. Return to Joy<\/b><\/li>\n
  4. Endure Hardship Well<\/b>\u00a0[1]<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The RARE Leadership model reflects core Christian leadership values, integrating theology, neuroscience, and ethical leadership principles to form a holistic, Christ-centered approach to leading well.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Biblical Foundations of Relational Leadership<\/span><\/h2>\n

    Leadership in Scripture is inherently relational.<\/b> From Moses mentoring Joshua to Paul discipling Timothy, biblical leadership is not about control but about forming others in the context of trust and connection.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Jesus as the Ultimate Relational Leader<\/span><\/h3>\n

    Jesus consistently modeled relationship over power. In <\/span>John 15:15<\/span><\/i>, He tells His disciples, “I no longer call you servants, but friends.” This shift from hierarchy to relationship is central to RARE Leadership, where remaining relational prevents leaders from falling into fear-based or reactive leadership.<\/span><\/p>\n

    When it comes to being spiritually formed in the likeness of Jesus Christ so you can <\/span>act like yourself<\/b>, in <\/span>The Divine Conspiracy,<\/span><\/i> Dallas Willard states that,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Very little of our being lies under the direction of our conscious minds, and very little of our actions runs from our thoughts and consciously chosen intentions\u2026 The training that leads to <\/span>doing<\/span><\/i> what we hear from Jesus must therefore involve, first, the purposeful disruption of our \u2018automatic\u2019 thoughts, feelings, and actions by doing different things with our body\u201d and then we are \u201cretrained away from the old kingdoms around and within us and into \u2018the kingdom of the Son of His love\u2019 (Col. 1:13 NAS). [2]<\/span><\/p>\n

    Likewise, Warner and Wilder emphasize the <\/span>neuroscience of transformation, which is identity-based<\/b>: \u201cInteraction with a personal God who is there and is not silent is crucial to helping us overcome deformities in our identity. This type of intimacy with God is a hallmark of emotionally mature leaders who pay attention to their fast-track habits\u201d [55] [3], the \u201cautomatic\u201d habits that run faster than conscious thought.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Servant Leadership and Emotional Stability<\/span><\/h3>\n

    In <\/span>In the Name of Jesus<\/span><\/i>, Henri Nouwen contrasts self-serving leadership with <\/span>servant leadership<\/b>\u2014a theme deeply embedded in the RARE Leadership model. Nouwen writes, \u201cTrue ministry must be mutual\u2026It is a servant leadership, in which the leader is a vulnerable servant who needs the people as much as they need their leader.\u201d [4]<\/span><\/p>\n

    Warner and Wilder explain how leaders thrive when they have a group of allies for their ongoing formation. This<\/span> identity group<\/b> is committed to each other, not for fear-based accountability, but for loving, vulnerable tenderness. It is based on three I\u2019s:<\/span> Imitation; Identity<\/i><\/b>; and <\/b>Intimacy<\/i><\/b>.<\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    With an identity group like this, leaders can help each other process the emotions that arise from life experiences with a <\/span>mutual mind<\/b>. This allows leaders to accept their raw, difficult emotions (<\/span>anger, fear, sadness, shame, disgust, hopeless despair<\/b>) and ultimately turn them into <\/span>wisdom<\/b>. [5]<\/span><\/p>\n

    Leaders who operate from a relational mindset avoid falling into <\/span>enemy mode<\/span><\/i>, where people become obstacles rather than image-bearers of God.<\/span><\/p>\n

    This echoes Jesus\u2019 call to lead with humility (Philippians 2:5-8). When leaders remain relational, they reflect this Christlike humility, keeping the <\/span>fast track (relational engagement)<\/b> active rather than getting stuck in the <\/span>slow track (problem-solving without connection)<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Joy as a Leadership Strength<\/span><\/h3>\n

    Nehemiah 8:10 declares, “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” <\/span>Joy,<\/b> as Warner and Wilder repeatedly emphasize, <\/span>is central to resilient leadership<\/b>. Neuroscientifically, joy helps leaders prioritize relationships over \u201cgetting things done.\u201d This also keeps leaders from burnout\u2014helping them return to relational thinking even in conflict. [6] Theologically, joy is an indicator of God\u2019s presence and a sign of spiritual maturity.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Overcoming Emotional Reactivity: Getting \u201cUnstuck\u201d<\/span><\/h2>\n

    One of the biggest challenges in leadership is <\/span>emotional reactivity\u2014when leaders get stuck in fear, insecurity, or control instead of leading with relational strength and resilience<\/b>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Using the <\/span>metaphor of a 4-story building and the elevator as the fast track<\/b> (see my attempt at illustrating this, below), Warner and Wilder describe how the <\/span>limbic system (2nd Floor)<\/b> can hijack leaders, causing them to react out of fear or shame rather than wisdom. Scripture provides clear examples of both fear-based leadership and leaders who endured hardship well by staying relationally grounded.<\/span><\/p>\n

    The Limbic System and Fear-Based Leadership: King Saul vs. David<\/span><\/h3>\n

    In this 4-story model, a leader stuck in fear-based leadership often operates from the limbic system, which is designed for quick, emotional responses but not for wise, relational leadership. In Scripture, King Saul is a prime example\u2014his leadership was marked by fear of people\u2019s opinions (1 Samuel 15:24), insecurity, and reactive decision-making that led to his downfall.<\/span><\/p>\n

    By contrast, David\u2014though imperfect\u2014often responded from a secure identity in God. When faced with criticism, betrayal, and hardship, he frequently returned to joy through worship and trust in God\u2019s presence (\u201c<\/span>You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.\u201d <\/span>Psalm 16:11). This ability to regulate his emotions and remain relational is a hallmark of RARE Leadership\u2019s “Return to Joy” principle.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Emotional Resilience & Returning to Joy: Insights from Dan Siegel\u2019s Wheel of Awareness<\/span><\/h3>\n

    Neuroscientist Dr. Dan Siegel\u2019s “Wheel of Awareness” <\/b>is a model for emotional resilience that aligns with the RARE Leadership emphasis on “Returning to Joy.” Siegel emphasizes that self-awareness and mindful attention allow leaders to interrupt emotional reactivity and engage their higher brain functions. He writes that the \u201cthree pillars of mind training include the cultivation of focused attention, open awareness, and kind intention.\u201d\u00a0 [7]<\/span><\/p>\n

    In a similar way, RARE Leadership teaches leaders to create habits of mind that help them move past fear-based reactions and return to relational connection.<\/span><\/p>\n

    In practical and theological terms, this means that <\/span>leaders must develop the habit of returning to God\u2019s presence in difficult moments<\/b>. Psalm 46:10\u2014”Be still and know that I am God”\u2014illustrates how <\/span>spiritual stillness helps leaders engage the fast track (right brain relational thinking) rather than getting stuck in the slow track (left brain problem-solving in isolation)<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Aligning “Endure Hardship Well” with Paul\u2019s Resilient Leadership<\/span><\/h3>\n

    Warner and Wilder\u2019s principle of “Enduring Hardship Well” is exemplified in Paul\u2019s leadership journey. In 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, Paul writes:<\/span><\/p>\n

    We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Paul faced immense hardship\u2014imprisonment, betrayal, and persecution\u2014yet he refused to let fear or emotional distress dictate his leadership. Instead, he remained relationally connected to his team (his identity group of allies), his mission, and God. This reflects the RARE Leadership model\u2019s call for leaders to stay grounded in relational joy and identity rather than reacting out of stress or fear.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Leading with Joy, Resilience, and Relationship<\/span><\/h2>\n

    Leadership is never just about strategy or expertise\u2014it is deeply relational. As I reflect on my own leadership challenges, I see how easy it is to get stuck in reactivity, control, or problem-solving at the expense of connection. Yet, Warner and Wilder\u2019s <\/span>RARE Leadership<\/span><\/i> reminds us that true leadership is about remaining relational, acting like ourselves, returning to joy, and enduring hardship well. <\/span>(My prayer for these times: Lord our God, may our leaders discover RARE Leadership soon\u2026)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

    This model is not <\/span>just<\/span><\/i> a modern neuroscientific leadership strategy; it is profoundly biblical. From David\u2019s returning to joy through mutual mind with God, to Jesus\u2019s relational leadership, to Paul\u2019s endurance in hardship, Scripture consistently shows that great leaders do not lead through fear or control but through humility, relational connection, and joy. <\/span>Neuroscience reinforces this truth, demonstrating that leaders who engage relationally are healthier, more resilient, and more effective.<\/b><\/p>\n

    At its core, <\/span>RARE Leadership<\/span><\/i> challenges us to lead like Christ\u2014not by asserting power, but by prioritizing relationships. Whether in ministry, business, or personal leadership, the call remains the same:<\/span> stay relational, return to joy, and lead with love.<\/b><\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \n

    1 – Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, <\/span>Rare Leadership; 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/span><\/i> (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016).<\/span><\/p>\n

    2 – Dallas Willard, <\/span>The Divine Conspiracy; Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God<\/span><\/i> (San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997), 322.<\/span><\/p>\n

    3 – Warner, Wilder, 55.<\/span><\/p>\n

    4 – Henri J.M. Nouwen, <\/span>In the Name of Jesus; Reflections on Christian Leadership<\/span><\/i> (New York: Crossroad, 1989), 62-63.<\/span><\/p>\n

    5 – Warner, Wilder, 138-139.<\/span><\/p>\n

    6 – Warner, Wilder, 33.<\/span><\/p>\n

    7 – Daniel J. Siegel, <\/span>The Developing Mind; How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are, Third Edition<\/span><\/i> (New York: The Guilford Press, 2020), 66.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    It\u2019s clear there\u2019s a \u201ccontrol factor\u201d at play. Isn\u2019t that often the case in a church?\u00a0 You\u2019re on staff, and they pay you for your expertise. But so often, there\u2019s at least one volunteer who is quite sure they know just as much as you do.\u00a0 They manage to get onto the committee with which […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,2594,2595],"class_list":["post-40995","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-warner","tag-wilder","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40995","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40995"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40995\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":40997,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40995\/revisions\/40997"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40995"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40995"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40995"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}