{"id":40956,"date":"2025-03-10T03:11:58","date_gmt":"2025-03-10T10:11:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=40956"},"modified":"2025-03-10T03:11:58","modified_gmt":"2025-03-10T10:11:58","slug":"jesus-make-me-rare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/jesus-make-me-rare\/","title":{"rendered":"Jesus, make me rare"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Serving in stated Christian leadership for more than thirty years has brought with it the relentless growth curve in seeking to be more like Jesus and inviting others to do the same, coupled with the brutal reality that my ego is really tough to transcend.<\/p>\n<p>Despite years of seeking to live with self-awareness about my own ego\u2019s needs that are in conflict with taking up my cross and following Jesus (Luke 9:23), I still find myself struggling with withdrawal when criticized, have put on a mask to go along with the crowd, have given way to pessimism, anger and total frustration, and have wanted to quit in the face to leadership struggles. Can you relate? Despite years of working with people, there are moments I would simply rather not. Despite decades of pastoral work, there are times when I\u2019m the one who needs pastoral care and recentring. So I didn\u2019t mind getting a solid reminder of the importance of emotional intelligence this week.<\/p>\n<p>In their clear and easy-to-digest <em>Rare Leadership<\/em>, Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder lay out 4 habits that can increase emotional intelligence. <span class=\"s1\">They are: <\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Remain Relational <\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Act Like Yourself <\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Return to Joy <\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Endure Hardship Well [1]<\/span>.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These shouldn\u2019t be rare, but unfortunately are. Yet when these are cultivated, something beautiful happens to a leader\u2019s internal regulation and output, and it sounds like the voice of Christ beckoning me to a place of wholeness, and to lead from the genuine place of acceptance about who God has made me to be.<\/p>\n<p>Warner and Wilder frame rare leadership in contrast to \u201csandbox leadership\u201d, which Harvard Business Review describe as full of \u201carrogance, pouting, tantrums, personal attacks and betrayal of trust\u201d, and which the authors call <span class=\"s1\">\u201cgrown-ups in positions of responsibility who lack emotional maturity [and create] catastrophic consequences for their unsuspecting followers\u201d [2]. When something is off within, i<\/span><span class=\"s1\">mmaturity and lack of emotional intelligence create a trail of carnage. That is not the recipe for coping well with the hardships we face.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I agree with the importance of growing in emotional intelligence and soft skills for becoming more successful in leading others. <span class=\"s2\">Dr. Hans Finzel quantifies it: \u201ce<\/span><span class=\"s1\">motional intelligence counts for twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined to be successful in leading others\u201d, he writes in the forward for this book [3]. Why? The four habits start with drawing others in. As a leader, I am reminded to draw others in, even when it\u2019s hard. For we are all human <em>beings<\/em>, and even human <em>becomings<\/em>, not merely human <em>doings<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Remain Relational. In order to be effective, Warner and Wilder warn that our brains move into isolation thinking without warning when we are operating in fear, or feeling threatened [4]. Combatting this isolation, Annabel Beerel highlight the importance of <span class=\"s1\">\u201ctranscending the ego\u201d in her chapter exploring Transpersonal Leadership [5], guiding people away from isolation and back towards others involvement and viewpoints [6]. Emotional intelligence rests on being honest and truthful about my own limitations, and therefore showing human vulnerability. And Christ-following leaders have this beautiful example in the words of the Apostle Paul, \u201cfollow me as I follow Christ\u201d (1 Corinthians 11:1) in a mutual submission to Christ (Ephesians 4:20).<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span class=\"s1\">I love how Warner and Wilder present relational strategies with the C.A.K.E. Acronym: Cultivate curiosity, show appreciation, express kindness, and envelope conversations by surrounding discussion about problems with history, then the problem, and then hope for a stronger relationship once solved [7].<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I just came off a full weekend of facilitated conversations to sharpen the future focus for one of the organizations I serve. My prayer is that Jesus would make me rare, helping me stay relational first and foremost.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>___________________<\/p>\n<p>[1] <span class=\"s1\">Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, <\/span><span class=\"s2\"><em>Rare Leadership : 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/em>,<\/span><span class=\"s1\"> (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016), 15.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[2] <em>Rare<\/em>, 33<\/p>\n<p>[3] <em>Rare, <\/em>3.<\/p>\n<p>[4] <em>Rare, <\/em>67.<\/p>\n<p>[5] <span class=\"s1\">Annabel Beerel, <em>Rethinking Leadership: A Critique of Contemporary Theories,<\/em> (1st ed.). Routledge, 2021), <\/span><span class=\"s1\">236.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[6] <em>Rethinking, <\/em><span class=\"s1\">241<\/span><span class=\"s1\">.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>[7] <em>Rare, <\/em><span class=\"s1\">100-103.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Serving in stated Christian leadership for more than thirty years has brought with it the relentless growth curve in seeking to be more like Jesus and inviting others to do the same, coupled with the brutal reality that my ego is really tough to transcend. Despite years of seeking to live with self-awareness about my [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":203,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3432],"class_list":["post-40956","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-warner-wilder-dlgp03","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40956","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/203"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40956"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40956\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41118,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40956\/revisions\/41118"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40956"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40956"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40956"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}