{"id":39226,"date":"2024-10-31T13:50:46","date_gmt":"2024-10-31T20:50:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=39226"},"modified":"2024-11-04T07:19:46","modified_gmt":"2024-11-04T15:19:46","slug":"transformational-leadership-embracing-joy-through-weakness-tenderness-and-the-presence-of-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/transformational-leadership-embracing-joy-through-weakness-tenderness-and-the-presence-of-god\/","title":{"rendered":"Transformational Leadership: Embracing Joy Through Weakness, Tenderness, and the Presence of God"},"content":{"rendered":"

What is the job of a leader?<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cTo guide people through the unknown to something better than they can imagine,” says Yaseen Dadabhay, therapist and coach. [1]<\/span><\/p>\n

Another way to say that is that the job of leadership is to put on an attitude of constant transformation. (My definition: attitude is <\/span>what<\/span><\/i> you think and <\/span>how<\/span><\/i> you think it.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Yaseen adds, \u201cYour life is always in beta. You are iterating all the time.\u201d <\/span>\u00a0[2]<\/span><\/p>\n

A leader would then ask, \u201cWhat creates true transformation? How can people be invited to take on uncertainty without fear?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Fortunately, in their book, Joy Starts Here; The Transformation Zone, <\/i>Jim Wilder, et al, have an answer: <\/span>joy<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

First, what is joy? \u201cJoy is a relational experience in which someone is glad to be with me.\u201d <\/span>\u00a0[3]<\/span><\/p>\n

Imagine someone\u2019s eyes lighting up when you enter the room. Or young children jumping up and down when their parent or another favorite person walks into the room. That\u2019s joy!<\/span><\/p>\n

Wilder writes, \u201cJoy is relational. Joy is contagious. Joy is transforming. Joy start with a smile. Joy helps our brain grow better than any health food. Joy reduces stress. Joy has more social impact than looking sexy. Joy improves our immune system more than exercise. Joy protects marriages. Joy raises brighter, more resilient children. Joy improves resilience after disasters. Joy spreads to transform lives.\u201d <\/span>\u00a0[4]<\/span><\/p>\n

Wilder points out that \u201cGod promises joy more often than He promises eternal life! Jesus lists joy as the reason for His teaching in John 17:13, \u2018I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them\u2019 (NIV).\u201d<\/span>\u00a0[5]<\/span><\/p>\n

Because joy is a high-energy state for the brain, it builds brain strength. It becomes easier to bounce back with resilience after a tough time. It is easier to withstand suffering. We don\u2019t view problems as win-or-lose. We don\u2019t view other people as \u201cenemies\u201d but as beloved children of God. We become creative and can face uncertainty with assurance. We move our bodies in response to the joy we feel within: dancing, running, jumping, stomping our feet to the music, clapping our hands, and laughing together.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Wilder and the other authors focus on the places where joy is most easily shared: home, school, and church. Yes, they agree that there is a great need for joy in the workplace, but they have also found that joy needs multiple generations to be transferred most effectively. So they have chosen the largest workplace environment in the US: education.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The t-Zone<\/span><\/h2>\n

What else does joy need for transference and sustainable transformation?<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The weak and strong are together and interacting.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Tender responses to weakness are the rule.<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. The interactive presence of God (Immanuel) maintains shalom.<\/span>\u00a0[6]<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Starting with the third element of the t-Zone (Transformation Zone), it is clear that experiencing God\u2019s active presence in our lives makes it possible to leave our comfort zones. We recognize that we are not alone, so we can step into uncertainty more confidently. We can admit our problems and fears to God who is gently present with us in our weakness, and we know that we are deeply loved. We can be securely attached to God, even in our weakness, which helps us develop spiritual and emotional maturity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Strong and Weak<\/span><\/h2>\n

    It is important to understand weakness within the context of leadership. Younger generations are weak in many ways. All of us are weak at times. It is critical to express tenderness toward weakness, in ourselves and in others.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    The strong and the weak must interact otherwise the strong do not change and the weak do not maintain any gains they have made in joy.<\/span><\/p>\n

    When we are in \u201cherds\u201d (or communities) with others, there are three possible positions<\/span>\u00a0[7]:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    • Protectors: <\/span><\/i>Typically, people who grew up in high-joy homes and have learned how to treat weakness with tenderness are protectors. They do not exploit other people\u2019s weaknesses, but protect the weak.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n
        \n
      • Predators<\/span><\/i>: We need training by gentle protectors or we can become predators. Predators discover and exploit weakness to remain dominant. They will hurt others if they feel threatened, which is a fear-based response. They do their best to hide their weaknesses and project constant strength.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
      • Possums<\/span><\/i>: In low-joy herds, possums are the other fear and anxiety-based response. Because they\u2019ve been hurt before, possums hide and conceal their weaknesses, and will do anything to avoid being exploited by predators and hurt again. When pounced on by predators, possums feel shame.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

        While some shame is helpful for learning, the kind of shame produced by being pounced on by one who is stronger creates shame that causes us to hide.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

        When we fear being vulnerable and hide our true selves out of shame, we can\u2019t experience the joy of someone who is delighted to be with the real me.<\/span><\/p>\n

        In addition to shame, low-joy environments often lead to BEEPS: pseudo-joy Behaviors, Events, Experiences, People, or Substances. They are substitutes for truly joyful, life-giving connections with God and others. <\/span>[8]<\/span><\/p>\n

        Joyful Leadership<\/span><\/h2>\n

        Leaders have so much responsibility! As the \u201cstrong\u201d person in a community or \u201cherd\u201d, we must be protectors and treat people tenderly who are weaker than we are. We must cultivate high joy in ourselves and in others around us, so predators cannot prey on possums.<\/span><\/p>\n

        In addition, protectors must be careful not to pretend we are stronger than we are. \u201cWe inflate ourselves to look as strong as possible in order to be liked. However, joy comes from someone being glad to be with the real me which might be too hidden for anyone to find. Meanwhile communities punish anyone who might bring predators their way. Communities punish anyone who shows weakness while the growing number of predators exploit every weakness they see. Joy levels drop.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0 [9]<\/span><\/p>\n

        When leaders neglect to use our own weaknesses as opportunities for growth, we can become ashamed of them. This can lead to self-justification in which we are \u201cright\u201d and everyone else is wrong.<\/span><\/p>\n

        Protectors respond to weakness and create joy in at least three ways <\/span>[10] :<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. They amplify every little bit of joy they find. This is high-energy joy.<\/span><\/li>\n
        2. They notice when people are tired and let them rest. This is why we need to alternate high energy with peace, shalom.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n
        3. They share the distress caused by weakness. This creates a bond that makes it easier to return to joy.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          What Others Say<\/span><\/h2>\n

          There is a great deal more I could share from Wilder\u2019s book, but space prohibits more. Instead, I\u2019ll share what a few other authors have to say about some of these topics.<\/span><\/p>\n

          Andy Crouch<\/span><\/h3>\n

          In his book <\/span>Strong and Weak<\/span><\/i>, Andy Crouch makes a case for how \u201cFlourishing requires us to embrace both authority and vulnerability.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0[11]<\/span><\/p>\n

          Crouch explains that vulnerability is when we \u201cbear burdens and expose ourselves to risk that no one else can fully see or understand.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0[12] Simultaneously, we must also \u201cdescend to the dead\u201d in which we are willing to visit the brokenness of the world and of our own hearts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          Curt Thompson<\/span><\/h3>\n

          Psychiatrist and author Curt Thompson has a whole chapter on \u201cJoy, Shame, and the Brain\u201d in his book, <\/span>The Soul of Shame<\/span><\/i>. He writes, \u201cIt is not simply joy for joy\u2019s sake but rather that joy is the signature indication of deep, mindful, intentional connection.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0[13]<\/span><\/p>\n

          Thompson goes on, \u201cThere is no domain that the creative power of joy, given the right nutrients in the soil, cannot grow in. It is to the world\u2019s advantage that the parent, teacher, coach, pastor, police officer, emergency room nurse, middle manager, CEO, boat captain and farmer cultivate cultures of joy.\u201d <\/span>[14] In other words, wherever there is a leader, that leader must be a protector and cultivate joy in their \u201cherd.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

          Shame, however, has a shearing-off effect. When someone is \u201cmoving in a direction of creative exploration, minding our own business, when an unexpected force of nature enters and brutally throws us off course\u2026 shearing off of joyful anticipation, a blindsiding that overtakes [us] and completely catches [us] off-guard.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0[15]<\/span><\/p>\n

          Thompson explains the effect on the brain which then affects our bodies (we turn in on ourselves, then lower our eyes and turn away from other people). Shame also prevents us from thinking coherently, making good choices, or regulating our right brain, from which all the emotion is pouring out.<\/span>\u00a0[16]<\/span><\/p>\n

          \u201cThis movement toward virtual infinite separation is our desperate attempt to deescalate the awful emotional sensation that we are enduring at the moment.\u201d <\/span>[17]<\/span><\/p>\n

          Thompson doesn\u2019t leave us in this pit of shame. Fortunately, he gives us tools to de-isolate ourselves with one or two or three trusted people with whom we are mutually known. I don\u2019t have space to share more here; I highly recommend this book, as well as the others referenced in this post.<\/span><\/p>\n

          But Thompson has another book, <\/span>The Deepest Place<\/span><\/i>;<\/span> Suffering and the Formation of Hope<\/span><\/i> that is also relevant. He writes, \u201chope is actually a word that, in the world of interpersonal neurobiology, serves as a proxy for an ever-deepening attachment love with Jesus and the commensurate awareness of God\u2019s relationsl presence of lovingkindness.\u201d <\/span>[18] As Wilder points out, joy increases when we have a deepening sense of God\u2019s presence with us.<\/span><\/p>\n

          That\u2019s the critical piece, isn\u2019t it? That Jesus does not leave us alone. Thompson reminds us that,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          \u201cno matter what our stories have been\u2013no matter the depth of our traumas and shame, no matter how impossible it seems to imagine a life in which the suffering you\u2019ve endured and are enduring will ever be any different\u2013hope is waiting to be formed. We cannot form it on our own\u2026 We are forming our hope as the result of being loved by Jesus\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          Jesus \u2026 is the one who is loving us into hope, remaining with us as we persevere on this long road of life, which is full of the suffering in which we come to rejoice because of the secure attachment we have to him and to his people.\u201d <\/span>[19]<\/span><\/p>\n

          Simon Walker<\/span><\/h3>\n

          Simon Walker explains in his book <\/span>Leading Out of Who You Are; Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/span><\/i> that power is an asset. The strong have power over the weak. He writes, \u201cI had to acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that there was something in me that enjoyed this dominance and was happy to exploit it\u2026 I often tell leaders now to \u2018tread lightly\u2019 when they express an opinion\u2013they must appreciate the extra weight it will carry simply by being theirs.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0[20]<\/span><\/p>\n

          He also explains that control offers us an illusion of security, and that we must be careful about \u201cimpression management\u201d, selectively revealing or concealing aspects of ourselves or our stories from our \u201caudience.\u201d <\/span>[21]<\/span><\/p>\n

          Walker discusses weakness in his own way, and shares, \u201cThe idea of undefended leadership is that we are secured not by our skills and resources but by our attachment to another\u2013one who is big enough not to be overwhelmed by our failures and weaknesses.\u201d <\/span>[22]<\/span><\/p>\n

          Bringing The Threads Together<\/span><\/h2>\n

          From these and other sources I don\u2019t have time to share, we see that effective leadership is a journey of transformation that intertwines strength, vulnerability, joy, and the embrace of our weaknesses, all underpinned by the presence of God.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          As leaders we guide others through uncertainty by creating environments based on genuine, gentle connections where joy can flourish. This relational joy, as highlighted by Wilder, is essential for fostering resilience and nurturing growth within our communities.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          By recognizing and tenderly responding to weakness\u2014both in ourselves and in others\u2014we cultivate a culture of protection and support, where everyone can feel valued and safe.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          The core thread for transformational leadership is experiencing God\u2019s active presence in our lives. Knowing we are deeply loved and never alone, we are empowered\u00a0 to step into the unknown with confidence, and can help others do the same.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          By acknowledging our own weaknesses and transformation, we invite others in our \u201cherd\u201d to embrace their vulnerabilities and share in the joy of authentic relationships. Walking together in faith, we pave the way for lasting change, demonstrating that leadership is not merely about authority, but about nurturing a shared journey toward a brighter, more connected future grounded in the love, joy, and shalom of God.<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n

          1 – Yaseen Dadabhay, private class, March 13, 2024.<\/span><\/p>\n

          2 – Dadabhay.<\/span><\/p>\n

          3 – E. James Wilder, Edward M. Khouri, Chris M. Coursey, Shelia D. Sutton, <\/span>Joy Starts Here; The Transformation Zone<\/span><\/i> (Holland, Michigan, Life Model Works, 2021), 4-5.<\/span><\/p>\n

          4 – Wilder, 4.<\/span><\/p>\n

          5 – Wilder, 7.<\/span><\/p>\n

          6 – Wilder, 5.<\/span><\/p>\n

          7 – Wilder, 13.<\/span><\/p>\n

          8 – Wilder, 10.<\/span><\/p>\n

          9 – Wilder, 104.<\/span><\/p>\n

          10 – Wilder, 5.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          11 – Andy Crouch, <\/span>Strong and Weak; Embracing a Life of Loe, Risk, and True Flourishing<\/span><\/i> (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2016), 11.<\/span><\/p>\n

          12 – Crouch, 25.<\/span><\/p>\n

          13 – Curt Thompson, <\/span>The Soul of Shame; Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves<\/span><\/i> (Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2015), 61.<\/span><\/p>\n

          14 – Thompson, 62.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

          15 – Thompson, 65.<\/span><\/p>\n

          16 – Thompson, 67.<\/span><\/p>\n

          17 – Thompson, 67.<\/span><\/p>\n

          18 – Curt Thompson, <\/span>The Deepest Place; Suffering and the Formation of Hope<\/span><\/i> (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2023), 5.<\/span><\/p>\n

          19 – Thompson, <\/span>The Deepest Place<\/span><\/i>, 203.<\/span><\/p>\n

          20 – Simon P. Walker, <\/span>Leading Out of Who You Are; Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/span><\/i> (Carlisle, UK, 2007), 39.<\/span><\/p>\n

          21 – Walker, 26.<\/span><\/p>\n

          22 – Walker, 103.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

          What is the job of a leader? \u201cTo guide people through the unknown to something better than they can imagine,” says Yaseen Dadabhay, therapist and coach. [1] Another way to say that is that the job of leadership is to put on an attitude of constant transformation. (My definition: attitude is what you think and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,2595],"class_list":["post-39226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-wilder","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39226"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39226\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":39283,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39226\/revisions\/39283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}