{"id":38767,"date":"2024-10-10T15:36:12","date_gmt":"2024-10-10T22:36:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=38767"},"modified":"2024-10-10T15:36:12","modified_gmt":"2024-10-10T22:36:12","slug":"perhaps-80-years-is-the-sweet-spot","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/perhaps-80-years-is-the-sweet-spot\/","title":{"rendered":"Perhaps 80 years is the Sweet Spot!"},"content":{"rendered":"

I saw the title of the book and immediately thought, \u201cOh No, Thank You!\u201d. The idea of living 100 years is not appealing to me. At 54, there are many things that are left on my \u201cto do\u201d list, really important things but none inspire me to live 100 years to achieve them. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I am grateful for every single day that God grants me. I am also keenly aware of how I am aging both mentally and physically. My mind does not move at the same speed that it once did nor does my body. With each day, I discover a new ailment in my body. I do, however, enjoy the wisdom that comes with aging and maturing. \u00a0Living a long life just seems like and invitation for more aches and pains in my body. Perhaps I am a bit pessimist as I am currently navigating an arthritic knee that just decided to begin hurting out of the blue. The Orthopedic Surgeon said, \u201cOh these things happen with age\u201d which was not very encouraging to hear. Gratton and Scott state, \u201cWhoever you are, wherever you live and however old you are, you need to start thinking now about the decisions you will take in order to make the most of this longer life.[1]<\/a> I would disagree with this statement. I aspire to live a better life with more meaningful experiences and not necessarily a longer life.<\/p>\n

Regenerative Friendships<\/strong><\/p>\n

The most interesting part of the book for me was the section on Regenerative Friendships. I have experienced both of my parents having life-long friendships. Some that stayed consistent throughout their lifespan and some that had ebbs and flow yet remained in the fabric of their lives. As I think about living a meaningful life, it is the community of people that I am emersed in that add to the richness of the experience. Gratton and Surgeon explain this as, \u201cthe development of a posse of like-minded peers builds the professional social capital that supports us in staying productive. However, it is the network of close, positive friends who will keep you sane and happy and contribute to your vitality asset.\u201d [2]<\/a> They further explain the make-up of these by explaining that \u201cregenerative friendships typically are built over many years; indeed, it is not unusual for them to reach back into the early days of education or working, when people are at a stage of their life when they are more \u2018plastic\u2019 about the development of relationships. [3]<\/a> It is curious to me that many of my long-standing friendships, much like my parent\u2019s friendships, are interwoven into many aspects of my life. They have grown with me through my most formative and most foolish stages. \u00a0The authors bring clarity to this as they state, \u201cThese regenerative relationships are often multi-stranded, in the sense that you know your friend across many different circumstances and in different roles \u2013 at home, with their family \u2013 and inevitably share some common interests.\u201d [4]<\/a> For me, these friendships have been essential in me navigating the most challenging as well as the most rewarding seasons of my life so far. \u00a0As, \u201cThese multi-stranded, emotionally laden relationships pay a central role in well-being and vitality. They provide the backdrop to a working life and often, when they reach back in time, they support the narrative and commentary about life and identity.\u201d[5]<\/a> I can get behind this, they are woven into my life and are as much a part of my histrionics as my own siblings are.<\/p>\n

Going the Distance<\/strong><\/p>\n

If living a long life is becoming increasingly common, then the value of investing in relationships becomes more important. The things that we pour into and cultivate will bear fruit and in the case friendships, this is absolutely true. Yet there is also a complexity with having long friendships, most of them require attention especially as we progress beyond the working years. The authors make the point that, \u201cover 100 years, these sorts of deep, emotionally leaden friendships will be both harder to keep and also more valuable.[6]<\/a> They continue with pointing out that these friendships are, \u201charder to keep because, as people live longer and go through more transitions, the ties that bind then will loosen and potentially break as their sense of identity changes. [7]<\/a> I believe that there is some truth in that. It is harder to keep them because of life changes and also it is difficult to see the physical and mental changes as we grow older. The reality is that if you live a 100-year-old life, you will have very few friends that are still living. I have witnessed this with my parents and now with my mother-in-law. It is painful to watch all of your peers pass away. I vote for the meaningful life, experiencing all the beautiful life events while I can enjoy them, remember them, and physically participate in them. Maybe that is an 80-year-old life, only God knows for sure. But what I do know is that I am grateful for my tribe and every single day that I am on this side of Heaven.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/a>\u00a0Lynda Gratton and Andrew Scott, The 100-Year Life: Living and Working in an Age of Longevity<\/em> (London, England: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2020), 1.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Ibid.,\u00a0108-9.<\/p>\n

[3] Ibid., 109.<\/a><\/p>\n

[4] <\/a>Ibid.,\u00a0109.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Ibid., 109-10.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Ibid., 110.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a>\u00a0Ibid., 110.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I saw the title of the book and immediately thought, \u201cOh No, Thank You!\u201d. The idea of living 100 years is not appealing to me. At 54, there are many things that are left on my \u201cto do\u201d list, really important things but none inspire me to live 100 years to achieve them. Don\u2019t get […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":174,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2310],"tags":[3294],"class_list":["post-38767","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doctor-of-leadership-3","tag-grattonandscott","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38767","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/174"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38767"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38767\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38768,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38767\/revisions\/38768"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38767"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38767"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38767"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}