{"id":38714,"date":"2024-10-08T12:02:04","date_gmt":"2024-10-08T19:02:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=38714"},"modified":"2024-10-08T15:37:14","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T22:37:14","slug":"the-intangibles-of-life-a-century-of-lessons-from-my-great-grandfather","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/the-intangibles-of-life-a-century-of-lessons-from-my-great-grandfather\/","title":{"rendered":"The Intangibles of Life: Nearly A Century of Lessons from My Great-Grandfather"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ralph Veenema came to the United States in the early 1900s.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He didn\u2019t know any English when he left the Netherlands and arrived in America. He was a young, 17-year-old blacksmith who moved into a Dutch enclave in northern New Jersey.<\/span><\/p>\n

He and another young Dutch immigrant blacksmith bought their shop together a couple of years later. Eventually, my great-grandfather Ralph got a degree in mechanical engineering, and he and his business partner, Ernst Weigers, became pioneers in building specialty truck bodies and trailers. I guess that was a reasonable career progression from blacksmithing during the twentieth century.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I remember attending Pop-pop\u2019s 90th birthday party when I was a very young child. I especially remember his heavy Dutch accent and that he always smelled like his pipe (though I hate cigarettes, the smell of a pipe always reminds me of my great-grandfather). He lived for a few more years after that party.<\/span><\/p>\n

I have always been proud of his courage and industriousness, and amazed at the changes he saw in the world during his lifetime. Amazed, that is, until I think about the changes my grandmother saw during<\/span> her<\/span><\/i> lifetime.<\/span><\/p>\n

My grandmother, Voge Veenema, outlived my grandfather (Ralph\u2019s son) by about 35 years. She was learning a little about computers when she died in her early 90s, about 12 years ago. Assuming she was born around 1920 (I\u2019d have to check), that means she went from the early days of radio and TV to the sending of people and satellites into space, all of that leading to the rise of the internet and smartphones.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

These technological advances fundamentally changed how people communicate, work, and live.<\/span><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t help but think of my long-lived great-grandfather and grandmother while I was reading <\/span>The 100-Year Life<\/span><\/i> by Lynda Gratton and Andrew Scott. In this book, they discuss the pace of change during a long life, and the need to plan for greater longevity every year.<\/span><\/p>\n

But the part of the book that really stood out to me was the section on three categories of \u201cIntangibles\u201d:<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Productive assets<\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Vitality assets<\/span><\/li>\n
  3. Transformational assets [1]<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Productive Assets<\/span><\/h2>\n

    The authors describe <\/span>education<\/span><\/i> and <\/span>knowledge<\/span><\/i> as <\/span>productive assets<\/span>. But \u201cit turns out that how we acquire knowledge and how productive we are depends very much on others. Making knowledge productive is, in other words, a team game.\u201d [2]\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Pop-pop\u2019s knowledge and skills, combined with those of his business partner, resulted in a successful truck-building company. <\/span>Reputation<\/span><\/i> is another intangible productive asset. Their company, V&W Trucking, was so important to the war effort, it kept the two men stateside during WWII.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Although technology is the most obvious external change over a long life, I\u2019m far more interested in how such technological transformation changes our relationships and other intangibles. So let\u2019s look at the next category.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Vitality Assets<\/span><\/h2>\n

    Moving away from my family story, the second set of intangibles are <\/span>vitality assets<\/span>. These include <\/span>fitness and health<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>balanced living<\/span><\/i>, and <\/span>regenerative friendships<\/span><\/i>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Together, these vitality assets help reduce stress, a primary goal of my NPO project. The authors write, \u201cWhether it is the Harvard longitudinal study\u2026 or studies of communities of people who enjoy vitality into their old age, they all inevitably show the same phenomenon\u2013people who are well connected to others are more vital, energetic and positive than those who are isolated.\u201d [3]<\/span><\/p>\n

    In my coaching certification course this week, our instructor, psychologist Yaseen Dadabhay, shared about the Lover archetype from Jung:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    \u201cIt\u2019s all about the glorious experience of a deep emotional connection to another person. It\u2019s a fundamental part of humanity, that we connect deeply with another person. The archetypal energy of the Lover [within all of us] is more primal than an expression of sexuality. It\u2019s a deep, deep emotionally connected relationship. But that relationship must also be one of a glorious experience. First with one other human being, then with others as well.\u201d [4]<\/span><\/p>\n

    In their book, <\/span>Burnout; the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle<\/span><\/i>, authors Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski describe the importance of authentic connection:<\/span><\/p>\n

    Two-person neuroscience (2PN) is brand new and researchers are still trying to establish the most valid and effective ways to measure, in the brain, the experience of connected synchrony, but so far the results are astonishing. When people watch a movie together, their brains\u2019 emotional responses synchronize, even if they\u2019re strangers. Simply sharing physical space with someone\u2013mere co-presence\u2013can be enough to synchronize heartbeats. We automatically mirror the facial expression of the person we\u2019re talking to and experience the emotion that goes with those expressions\u2026 [5]<\/span><\/p>\n

    The Nagoskis explain that \u201csocial connections fuel your body just as eating nutritious foods and taking deep breaths do,\u201d creating a \u201cBubble of Love.\u201d [6] This Bubble has two critical components:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    1) <\/span>Trust<\/span><\/i>. Trust is based on a combination of authenticity and vulnerability. \u201cWhen the people in our Bubble can turn with kindness and compassion toward our difficult emotions, and we can do the same for them, it strengthens the Bubble like nothing else.\u201d [7]<\/span><\/p>\n

    2)<\/span> Connected Knowing.<\/span><\/i> In contrast to <\/span>separated knowing<\/span><\/i> \u201cwhen you separate an idea from its context and assess it in terms of some externally imposed rules,\u201d [8] connected knowing \u201cis careful, effortful, often slow, and <\/span>intensely rational,<\/span><\/i> meaning it follows predictable patterns and progression. It integrates emotion\u2026 is imaginative\u2026 and is a way to connect with and understand our own internal experience and develop our own identities.\u201d [9]<\/span><\/p>\n

    The Nagoskis wrap up this section of their book with this: \u201c<\/span>When we share trust, authenticity, and connected knowing with someone, we change, and it\u2019s scary and good and important. We come to know certain people, the right people, as intimately as we know ourselves, and, in coming to know them, we come to know ourselves in new and deeper ways.\u201d <\/span><\/i>[10]<\/span><\/p>\n

    Transformational Assets<\/span><\/h2>\n

    And this sentiment moves right into the third category of intangibles: <\/span>transformational assets. <\/span>These assets \u201chelp increase the success of transition and reduce the uncertainty and costs of change.\u201d [11]\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Transformational assets include self-knowledge and diverse networks, which both contribute to self-identity.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Gratton and Scott write, \u201cSelf-knowledge is needed to plot a path through change and transitions and, above all, to provide a sense of identity\u2026 building a life narrative that had coherence. To shape this, there has to be both <\/span>continuity<\/span><\/i> (what is it about me that remains the same) and <\/span>causality<\/span><\/i> (what is it that has happened to me that explains the change).\u201d [12]<\/span><\/p>\n

    They add, \u201cSince your identity is fundamentally embedded in relationships and friendships, as you begin to make a transition you inevitably begin to shift connections\u201d [13] which allows you to connect to new people and new networks.<\/span><\/p>\n

    These assets are all critical components of my NPO project about healing and preventing overwhelm, stress, and burnout, especially from a Christian perspective.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Applying a Christian Lens<\/span><\/h2>\n

    As I look at all of this through the lens of Christ, a few things stand out:<\/span><\/p>\n

    1. Over the course of a long life and after a major move, my great-grandfather was able to gain new knowledge and skills to begin anew in work because of his connections and network: he was ensconced in a community of like-minded people, regenerative friendships. Sometimes that\u2019s what we need to realize our God-given potential.<\/span><\/p>\n

    2. My grandmother never chose to invest her time and energy in learning new technology, but that didn\u2019t matter. Over the course of her long life, new technologies dramatically, if incrementally, changed her world in ways she hardly even considered. The same is happening to each of us today.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    I\u2019ll add that financially, Voge was ultimately dependent on family members to survive. Gratton and Scott don\u2019t address the fifth of the Ten Commandments in their book (\u201chonor your parents\u2026\u201d), but they do address that a longer life will require financing in new and creative ways.<\/span><\/p>\n

    3. Deep, glorious connection with another vulnerable human being\u2013that \u201cBubble of Love,\u201d based on trust and being known\u2013is a critical component of reducing stress. We know this because that is how Jesus made disciples and taught us how to do the same.<\/span><\/p>\n

    4. \u201cThe experience of connected synchrony\u201d describes attachment. This is not only how we are gloriously connected with\u2013and attached to\u2013other humans, but also with and to God. It is only through attachment to God that we can grow in intimacy with the One who created us.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    Two of many passages that describe this attachment: \u201cDraw near to God and he will draw near to you\u2026\u201d James 4:8. And \u201cYou shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.\u201d Luke 10:27.<\/span><\/p>\n

    5. Self-knowledge is critically necessary for effective leadership and ongoing spiritual formation. St. Augustine, John Calvin, and others have all shared the idea that \u201cTo know God we must know ourselves; to know ourselves, we must know God.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    I think especially of Psalm 139:23-24: \u201cSearch me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!\u201d And James 4:10: \u201cHumble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

    6. Finally (for today!), the idea that we gain our self-identity from others is foundational to personal and spiritual growth and formation. In their book, <\/span>The Other Half of Church<\/span><\/i>, Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks write, \u201cIn the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus delivers a heavy dose of group identity for a chosen, royal, holy, special people. He answers the questions: What kind of people are we? How do we act as members of God\u2019s kingdom on earth?\u201d [14]\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    And there are many instances in scripture where we are reminded that our identity is first and foremost in Christ: \u201cif anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come\u201d (2 Cor. 5:17).\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    ===<\/p>\n

    To sum this up, we can now see the impact played by \u201cthe intangibles\u201d\u2014such as productive, vitality, and transformational assets\u2014in personal and spiritual growth, and in navigating life’s changes. The long life of my great-grandfather Ralph Veenema illustrates many of these concepts.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

    As seen through a Christian lens\u2013which would have delighted him\u2013we can also see how community, knowledge, and deep connections contribute to resilience and identity in Christ, fostering a fulfilling life.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n

    1) Gratton, Lynda and Andrew Scott, <\/span>The 100-Year Life: Living and Working in an Age of Longevity <\/span><\/i>(<\/span>London: Bloomsbury Publishing, 2020),<\/span>\u00a0 71-72.<\/span><\/p>\n

    2) Gratton, 77.<\/span><\/p>\n

    3) Gratton, 85.<\/span><\/p>\n

    4) Yaseen Dadabhay, private course, Oct. 7, 2024.<\/span><\/p>\n

    5) Nagoski, Emily and Amelia Nagoski, <\/span>Burnout; the Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle<\/span><\/i> (New York: Ballantine Books, 2020),<\/span> 136.<\/span><\/p>\n

    6) Nagoski, 141.<\/span><\/p>\n

    7) Nagoski, 144.<\/span><\/p>\n

    8) Nagoski, 144.<\/span><\/p>\n

    9) Nagoski, 146.<\/span><\/p>\n

    10) Nagoski, 151.<\/span><\/p>\n

    11) Gratton, 90.<\/span><\/p>\n

    12) Gratton, 94.<\/span><\/p>\n

    13) Gratton, 95.<\/span><\/p>\n

    14) Wilder, Jim, and Michel Hendricks, <\/span>The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation<\/span><\/i> (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2020),<\/span>\u00a0112.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Ralph Veenema came to the United States in the early 1900s.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t know any English when he left the Netherlands and arrived in America. He was a young, 17-year-old blacksmith who moved into a Dutch enclave in northern New Jersey. He and another young Dutch immigrant blacksmith bought their shop together a couple of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[3205,2967],"class_list":["post-38714","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-gratton","tag-dlgp03","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38714","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=38714"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38714\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":38721,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/38714\/revisions\/38721"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=38714"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=38714"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=38714"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}