{"id":37648,"date":"2024-04-18T22:48:30","date_gmt":"2024-04-19T05:48:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=37648"},"modified":"2024-04-18T22:48:30","modified_gmt":"2024-04-19T05:48:30","slug":"to-dare-or-not-to-dare-that-is-the-question","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/to-dare-or-not-to-dare-that-is-the-question\/","title":{"rendered":"To Dare or Not to Dare…. That is the Question"},"content":{"rendered":"

I am a Bren\u00e9 Brown fan.\u00a0 Anyone who has the courage to talk about shame and vulnerability deserves respect.\u00a0 In fact, I am a big enough fan that as I was looking for what\u2019s next for me prior to this Doctorate I was seriously considering getting a daring greatly coaching certificate through her business. I\u2019m glad I\u2019m here, in this program and feel like I\u2019ve come full circle to end this semester with Brown\u2019s book Dare to Lead: Brave work, Tough conversations, whole hearts.<\/em><\/p>\n

NOT EVERYONE DARES<\/p>\n

Fairly early in my leadership in my current organization we decided as a leadership team to read this book together and work through the companion workbook.\u00a0 Let me say it did not go well.\u00a0 Not everyone has the courage and bravery to discuss shame and vulnerability in order to get to the other side of courageous and a different kind of Leadership.\u00a0 I was thrilled, but in order to get to this place of trust, we all got stuck on exercise 2 of her workbook.\u00a0 The Question we needed to answer was \u201cContainer Building\u201d[1]<\/a>.\u00a0 We needed to answer on sticky notes the following questions: \u201cWhat do you need to show up and do the work? What will get in the way of you showing up and doing the work? and What does support look like?\u201d A few of my colleagues struggled with respecting this exercise for others.\u00a0 One of my colleagues said for her to show up and be vulnerable she needed others to show up and to listen.\u00a0 Right after this, someone got an \u201cimportant\u201d phone call, left to answer then came bounding back into the group talking and interrupting right as this person was sharing.\u00a0 This was the beginning of the break down, someone\u2019s needs were trampled on the first go!\u00a0 I believe in this group we only got through introduction and exercise one of Rumbling with vulnerability and it all crumbled.\u00a0 One of her exercises was \u201cWhat stands in the way becomes the way\u201d.[2]<\/a>\u00a0 Not everyone dares to lead in a courageous way, this was a lesson learned. While this may not be a very academic rigorous book, I believe, if we truly take her words to heart as leaders, it\u2019s perhaps the most difficult of all our readings to live into, as it requires the courage to tap into our own shame and vulnerability.<\/p>\n

The 4 E\u2019s<\/p>\n

My NPO is on having courageous and soulful conversations around end-of-life.\u00a0 As I\u2019ve worked through my prototypes, I have come to realize I can teach others to have these conversations utilizing 4 E\u2019s: Empathy, Exploration, Education and Empower.\u00a0 Dare to Lead <\/em>also begins with empathy.<\/p>\n

EMPATHY<\/p>\n

\u201cEmpathy is one of the linchpins of cultures built on connection and trust-it\u2019s also an essential ingredient for teams who take risks and show up for rumbles.\u201d[3]<\/a>\u00a0 Why would anyone jump into a deeper conversation or relationship with anyone who cannot show empathy in an authentic way, and in turn, also express vulnerability?\u00a0 I worry that our social media culture is slowly or quickly pulling our children away from authenticity and vulnerability and decaying their (our) ability to listen with empathic ears.\u00a0 How quickly do we all jump to judgement.\u00a0 This leads to the next E:<\/p>\n

EXPLORATION<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen the going gets rough, turn to inquiry and wonder\u201d[4]<\/a>.\u00a0 I have used Parker Palmer\u2019s circle of trust before within this format and once again will post a link to his website in footnotes, but this encapsulates so much for me the need be non-judgmental and curious. [5]<\/a> One of my teachers in Celtic Christianity talked about how important it is to be and explorer and not a detective.\u00a0 As we dare to lead, we must be curious not only about our organizations and those we lead, but we must be curious about ourselves.\u00a0 Our teacher Jason Clark quoted to us our first year in Cape Town South Africa \u201cthe greater the island of our knowledge grows, so does the shore of ignorance.\u201d\u00a0 This feeds into the audacity we all have at this point to explore more about what we think we know and want to put out into the world.\u00a0 Our own process has forced and nudged and encouraged us to continue to be curious about our projects, about who are stakeholders are, and what need, problem and\/or opportunity we have to fill in the gap!\u00a0 \u201cWe aren\u2019t curious about something we are unaware of or know nothing about\u201d.[6]<\/a>\u00a0 Play explorer: ask more questions, don\u2019t be a detective who thinks they already have the answer and look only for evidence to prove themselves right!\u00a0 This exploration leads to:<\/p>\n

EDUCATION<\/p>\n

We need to continue to walk along the shore of our ignorance!\u00a0 This semester is proof of that for me, there is so much I\u2019ve learned that I need to explore more of, such as AI, cancel culture and identity, to name a few I feel compelled to explore.\u00a0 While we were in Oxford, the student who took us on a tour told us that what mattered most in getting into Oxford was to be able to answer the question \u201cwhat are you reading? And what has that compelled you to read next?\u201d.\u00a0 Oxford doesn\u2019t want cookie cutter students who passed what the country has determined to be the standard core of knowledge (although I\u2019m sure that\u2019s a given) they want to know what kind of student you are of the world and of yourself and do you have the courage to Dare to step into new learnings on your own without a syllabus telling you to do so.\u00a0 I have been convicted of that thought and it has ruminated in my soul all year.\u00a0 Walk the shore of your own ignorance\u2026often.<\/p>\n

EMPOWER<\/p>\n

As Brown\u2019s book implies, it takes Daring to lead this way.\u00a0 To lead through vulnerability and understanding how shame, undealt with, will absolutely be what drives our leadership.\u00a0 What if we took from Bren\u00e9\u2019s book the courage to truly be vulnerable and wrestle with our own shame, so that we may empower others to do the same!\u00a0 What a change that could be for ourselves, our organizations and the world.\u00a0 This book is hard!<\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Brown, Bren\u00e9. Who we are is how we lead workbook.<\/em>(London, Penguin House, 2018) Pg 5<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Brown, Bren\u00e9., pg 6<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Brown, Bren\u00e9. Dare to Lead: Brave work, Tough conversatios, Whole hearts. <\/em>(London, Penguin Press, 2018). 136<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Palmer, Parker. A Hidden Wholeness: the Journey Toward an Undivided Life.<\/em> (San Francisco, Jossey-Bass, 2004) 218<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> https:\/\/couragerenewal.org\/courage-renewal-approach\/<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Brown, Bren\u00e9. Dare to Lead: Brave work, Tough conversatios, Whole hearts. <\/em>(London, Penguin Press, 2018). 174<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am a Bren\u00e9 Brown fan.\u00a0 Anyone who has the courage to talk about shame and vulnerability deserves respect.\u00a0 In fact, I am a big enough fan that as I was looking for what\u2019s next for me prior to this Doctorate I was seriously considering getting a daring greatly coaching certificate through her business. I\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":187,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1519,2489,922],"class_list":["post-37648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-brenebrown","tag-dlgp02","tag-empathy","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/187"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37648"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37648\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37649,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37648\/revisions\/37649"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}