{"id":37567,"date":"2024-04-17T09:19:48","date_gmt":"2024-04-17T16:19:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=37567"},"modified":"2024-04-17T09:19:48","modified_gmt":"2024-04-17T16:19:48","slug":"who-is-responsible-for-a-leaders-wholeness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/who-is-responsible-for-a-leaders-wholeness\/","title":{"rendered":"Who is Responsible for a Leader’s Wholeness?"},"content":{"rendered":"

In\u00a0Daring to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations and Whole Hearts,<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>researcher and storyteller,\u00a0Brene Brown, inspires her audience and readers to lead bravely through her accessible insights. \u00a0As I write my last post for the semester, I am reflecting on how profoundly grateful I feel for who we are as a doctoral student cohort extraordinaire. \u00a0Thinking back to our Zoom conversation on Monday about JR Woodward\u2019s\u00a0The Scandal of Leadership<\/span><\/em>,<\/em> I heard us trying to solve a problem through dialogue, or as Brene Brown would call it, a rumble. In just a few short minutes, Jason facilitated our conversation as we puzzled over Domineering Leadership, how to have power without abusing it, the breakdown of social contracts with leaders, and as Scott Dickie asked, \u201cIs the breakdown of leader accountability a systemic issue?\u201d \u00a0What captured my attention was how John Fehlen connected taking care of people with differentiating between the powers\u2013he asked, \u201cHow can we walk in humility?\u201d I believe I heard someone ask \u201cwith true power?\u201d It was as if we were asking aloud, \u201cWho is responsible for the leader\u2019s wholeness?\u201d As I watched the little squares disappear from the screen, I was asking myself this question: What cultures or people groups draw from the best powers caring well for their leaders? \u00a0How can we learn from them? \u00a0I honestly do not know the answer to that question. \u00a0After reading Brene Brown\u2019s book this week, here\u2019s what I would look for in other cultures as I learn how to support leaders well.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Antidote for Demanding Power and Control<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Brene Brown writes about her conversations and exchanges with her team members because they want people to share in their commitment, purpose and mission. \u00a0In reading through the dialogues, I am struck by the fact that Brene Brown is the leader, the personality and the one for whom everyone works. \u00a0Yet, in her conversations with her employees, she demonstrates how she walks her talk. \u00a0In her example of being out of town with a colleague facilitating a daring leadership workshop, Brene tells the story of being frustrated with how the colleagues just stuff an envelope under her hotel room, giving her more work to do. Or in another scenario, Brene causes more work for her CFO by handing him incomplete invoices. \u00a0As the scenarios unravel, we as the reader discover what it looks and sounds like for leaders to name and normalize fear and uncertainty by not working from constant compliance. Rather than just write about \u201cCultivating commitment and shared purpose,\u201d like many leadership authors do, Brene Brown illustrates how the antidote for demanding power and control sets people free by giving them authority. It\u2019s kind of ironic. She writes, \u201cLeaders who work from compliance constantly feel disappointed and resentful, and their teams feel scrutinized. Compliance leadership also kills trust, and ironically, it can increase people\u2019s tendency to test what they get away with.\u201d[1]<\/a><\/sup><\/p>\n

This makes me wonder if senior pastors, board chairs, Christian public figures or those given \u201cpower\u201d can feel in bondage to the people with whom they serve and work? As if the dialogues are so off mission, they are adding one more handcuff to their prisoners? \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Leadership Derailment<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

While we were in Oxford, England last September, Jo Nelson presented a provocative summary of Leadership Derailment. \u00a0She was asking a similar question, \u201cHow do we support leaders?\u201d \u00a0WIth the foundation of her talk based upon The Toxic Triangle, Jo Nelson pointed out how leaders destruct from not speaking up, passive\/aggressive behaviors, and a critical spirit. \u00a0Might the reason I am connecting Nelson\u2019s work to Brene Brown is that Brave leadership, Vulnerability and not abusing one\u2019s power has a curious correlation to feedback? To dialogue?. \u00a0Listen again to Jo Nelson: \u00a0\u201cDerailment can almost always be tied to relationship problems. When relationships are strong, people will forgive mistakes. But when relationships erode, tolerance for mistakes will get a manager fired.\u201d[2]<\/a><\/sup>\u00a0 Or when relationships erode, leaders abuse power.<\/span><\/p>\n

As you may recall, Jo Nelson then offered us helpful classifications of neurotic needs:<\/span><\/p>\n