{"id":37295,"date":"2024-04-15T22:21:17","date_gmt":"2024-04-16T05:21:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=37295"},"modified":"2024-04-08T22:27:24","modified_gmt":"2024-04-09T05:27:24","slug":"37295-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/37295-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Bren\u00e9 Brings it All Together"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n

There have been a couple of overarching themes running through our doctoral learning. We\u2019ve read and discussed a great deal about leading out of who you are[1]<\/a>, leadership and differentiation and being a non-anxious presence[2]<\/a>. I\u2019ve felt this internal work deeply, to the extent that I\u2019ve joked with a couple of close friends that I\u2019m doing a doctoral-level self-help program. But in all seriousness, some of these ideas have been threshold concepts for me personally and I\u2019ve heard my cohort say the same.<\/p>\r\n

Another major theme, notably this semester, has been the big umbrella under which we can put identity politics which has led to cancel culture and its antidote intelligent discourse. As I\u2019ve had these various themes rolling around in my head and sometimes even vying for attention, I hadn\u2019t really been able to bring them all together until now. Reading Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s Dare to Lead<\/em> felt like the perfect integration of personal growth, emotional intelligence and courageously refusing to self-censor in the face of identity politics\u2019 excesses.<\/p>\r\n

Many are already familiar with Brown\u2019s research as a sociologist. Her work has focused on the importance of vulnerability, empathy, and connection especially as a remedy to shame.[3]<\/a> She has done fantastic work on bringing those qualities, or being wholehearted as she sometimes calls it[4]<\/a>, into the realm of leadership. Today I\u2019d like to explore what it looks like to bring wholeheartedness into the space where cancel culture meets rational discourse.<\/p>\r\n

In the opening pages of her book, Brown suggests creating \u201ca culture in which people feel safe, seen, heard and respected.\u201d[5]<\/a> While of course these are generally good things to aim for, we have seen how when taken to the extreme they can contribute to an environment where we all walk on eggshells. For fear of making someone feel uncomfortable, we self-censor. For fear of being canceled, we disengage from discourse and thereby disconnect from each other. As Brown says, \u201cWe are hardwired for connection,\u201d[6]<\/a> so it\u2019s no wonder that we\u2019re seeing more and more anxiety and brokenness all around us.<\/p>\r\n

What wisdom might we find in Brown\u2019s research and writing to resist cancel culture and all that goes with it?<\/p>\r\n

    \r\n
  1. Lean into discomfort instead of numbing our emotions or avoiding hard conversations.[7]<\/a><\/li>\r\n
  2. Practice integration instead of false binaries.[8]<\/a> To me this speaks of nuance in our conversations and even in our identities. Could it be that Brown is even advocating integrating our shadow selves as Daniel Lieberman talked about?[9]<\/a> How might we even integrate our unwanted identities that lead to shame reactions?[10]<\/a><\/li>\r\n
  3. Employ courageous curiosity which may have the added benefit of increasing such traits as creativity, intelligence, improved learning and problem solving.[11]<\/a><\/li>\r\n
  4. And finally, practice and build up the skills of empathy, which Brown outlines in a four-step process.[12]<\/a><\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n

    All of these principles taken together seem like a good start to combat the “erosion of civility in discourse\u201d manifested in tactics like shouting down our opponents or moral grandstanding.[13]<\/a> As we continue to pursue rational discourse and free speech, there is one more author who I would like to include in this conversation. At the recommendation of my coach, I\u2019ve begun reading Boundaries for your Soul<\/em> by Allison Cook and Kimberly Miller. I\u2019m only a couple of chapters into the book, but it\u2019s already brought me a new perspective on empathy and emotional health. The authors describe a unique approach to managing emotions, namely not letting them too close (thereby controlling you) nor pushing them too far away (thereby suppressing or ignoring them).[14]<\/a> This complements Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s advice when she says, \u201cRuminating and getting stuck is as unhelpful as not noticing.\u201d[15]<\/a><\/p>\r\n

    At the end of the day, that advice could be applied equally to the thoughts and arguments of others. We can listen with curiosity to both our own emotions and to others\u2019 arguments. We can interact with and explore, dialogue with nuance, and in the end accept all or part or none of someone else\u2019s argument. In the same way, Cook and Miller describe how we can dialogue with our own emotions.[16]<\/a> Bren\u00e9 Brown\u2019s wisdom can help us navigate our own selves, our leadership contexts and even our polarized society as we grow in curiosity, empathy, and connection.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

     <\/p>\r\n

    [1]<\/a> Simon P. Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/em>, The Undefended Leader Trilogy. 1 (Piquant, 2007).<\/p>\r\n

    [2]<\/a> Friedman, Edwin H..\u00a0A Failure of Nerve : Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix (10th Anniversary, Revised Edition), <\/em>Church Publishing Incorporated, 2017.<\/p>\r\n

    [3]<\/a> Bren\u00e9 Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts<\/em> (London: Vermilion, 2018)136.<\/p>\r\n

    [4]<\/a> Ibid., 156.<\/p>\r\n

    [5]<\/a> Ibid., 12.<\/p>\r\n

    [6]<\/a> Ibid., 25.<\/p>\r\n

    [7]<\/a> Ibid., 87.<\/p>\r\n

    [8]<\/a> Ibid, 90.<\/p>\r\n

    [9]<\/a> Daniel Lieberman, Spellbound<\/em> (Dallas, TX: BenBella Books, 2022).<\/p>\r\n

    [10]<\/a> Bren\u00e9 Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts<\/em> (London: Vermilion, 2018) 123.<\/p>\r\n

    [11]<\/a> Ibid., 171.<\/p>\r\n

    [12]<\/a> Ibid., 143.<\/p>\r\n

    [13]<\/a> Lukianoff, Greg & Rikki Schlott.\u00a0The Canceling of the American Mind: How Cancel Culture Undermines Trust, Destroys Institutions, and Threatens Us All.<\/em>\u00a0NY: Simon and Schuster,\u00a02023. <\/em>Chapter 7.<\/p>\r\n

    [14]<\/a> Cook, Allison and Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul<\/em> (Nashville, TN: Nelson Books, 2018). 7.<\/p>\r\n

    [15]<\/a> Bren\u00e9 Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts<\/em> (London: Vermilion, 2018) 149.<\/p>\r\n

    [16]<\/a> Cook, Allison and Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul<\/em> (Nashville, TN: Nelson Books, 2018). Kindle location 381.<\/p>\r\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    There have been a couple of overarching themes running through our doctoral learning. We\u2019ve read and discussed a great deal about leading out of who you are[1], leadership and differentiation and being a non-anxious presence[2]. I\u2019ve felt this internal work deeply, to the extent that I\u2019ve joked with a couple of close friends that I\u2019m […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":186,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2310],"tags":[2489,1517],"class_list":["post-37295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doctor-of-leadership-3","tag-dlgp02","tag-brown","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/186"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37295"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37301,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37295\/revisions\/37301"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}