{"id":36770,"date":"2024-03-15T13:47:18","date_gmt":"2024-03-15T20:47:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=36770"},"modified":"2024-03-15T15:23:31","modified_gmt":"2024-03-15T22:23:31","slug":"the-shaping-of-who-we-are-how-we-lead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/the-shaping-of-who-we-are-how-we-lead\/","title":{"rendered":"The Shaping Of Who We Are & How We Lead"},"content":{"rendered":"

In \u201cLeading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership,\u201d <\/span>\u00a0Simon Walker invites us to engage leadership on a more personal level, seeing it as a journey of self-awareness that\u2019s<\/span> fundamentally \u201cabout who you are, not what you know or what skills you have.\u201d\u00a0 With this as the foundation,<\/span> he says that\u00a0 \u201cleadership is about trust, and it is about power.\u201d[1]\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I appreciate how he frames leadership as a practice of vulnerability and self-emptying that is most concerned with serving others. <\/span>However, this isn\u2019t always so easy in practice. Walker is highly aware of this challenge and claims it\u2019s due to the natural inclination we have towards <\/span>defensiveness that comes when trying to preserve one\u2019s sense of power and influence, <\/span>especially as it relates to their ability to shape and control how others see them.[2]\u00a0 In exploring strategies of defense, he outlines the various types of power people possess (inviting us to move our questioning away from <\/span>if<\/span><\/i> power is used to <\/span>how<\/span><\/i> power is used) and how we enter dangerous territory as leaders when we try to attain a sense of security through exercising control in\/over our relationships. He exposes how clinging to selective presentation, power, and control as strategies of protection ultimately proves futile since control only offers an illusion of security and we can never fully hide ourselves.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m reminded of Brother Lawrence, a monk I got to know while living in Boston years ago. He once shared how no matter how hard you try to show only what you deem as favorable aspects of yourself, eventually Community will \u201cout\u201d you.\u00a0 Walker highlights this as he pulls from Erving Goffman\u2019s theory speaking to the front stage and back stage of leadership.\u00a0 The front stage is where we perform for our audience. This is any and everything that can be seen by those around us. Whereas the back stage is home to everything we don\u2019t feel able to show an audience without losing love or value; it\u2019s \u201cwhere we hide our hopes, thoughts, plans, feelings, and more negative thoughts like doubt, failure, frustration, and fears.\u201d [3]\u00a0 We utilize these two \u201cstages\u201d as an attempt to reduce the risks and perceived threats of those around us but anytime we focus on one more than the other we can expect \u201cleakage\u201d to happen, as whatever occurs in one area will always have an impact in the other area,\u00a0<\/span>due to our instinct to overcompensate with negative coping mechanisms. In my work we often use the following phrase to capture this: the personal is the professional.<\/span><\/p>\n

To locate the roots of the \u201cdefended\u201d self, Walker invites us to dig deeper within ourselves and revisit our childhoods. He outlines how our defensiveness stems from idealization, idealism, and unmet emotional needs. Going back to the idea of leadership ultimately being about power and trust, Walker does a deep dive into our experience of and response to trust, building on the work of psychologists Bartholomew and Horowitz around ego formation.\u00a0 They identified four varying shapes of ego dependent on how nurturing one\u2019s environment was during infancy: secure, dismissing, preoccupied, and fearful.[4] Walker translates these into what he calls <\/span>Shaping Leadership ego, Defining Leadership ego, Adapting Leadership ego, and Defending Leadership ego, which each have a \u2018front-stage\u2019 or \u2018back-stage\u2019 tendency. <\/span>\u00a0[5]<\/span><\/p>\n

Walker argues that \u201dcontrol is one of the least acknowledged defenses of the leader and often prevents them from working collaboratively with others\u201d[6]. This is an issue because working collaboratively and allowing individuals to see both our front stage and our back stage is the only way we will ever be free to lead.\u00a0 I love this idea of freedom at the core of our leadership, as it aligns with my beliefs and fits in nicely with my aim to support people in leading from a place of authenticity and wholeness.\u00a0 He takes a moment to focus on leaders in the social sector, highlighting common traps that keep those drawn to this type of work in bondage, feeling as though they live in a world that is happening <\/span>to<\/span><\/i> them, thus evoking a need for self-protection, which kick-starts all their defenses.\u00a0 For Walker,\u00a0 true leadership must be \u2018undefended\u2019 which doesn\u2019t come from \u201cgrasping power or seeking colleagues\u2019 approval but rather from\u00a0 \u201cour attachment to another\u2019 who offers \u201cunconditional regard\u2019\u201d. [7]\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But how and where do we gain this type of security in unconditional love? Walker argues this is a role only God can play, for no matter how well intended a human is, true security can only be found in an identity rooted in Christ. This is where I begin to get even more excited about Walker\u2019s work. I couldn\u2019t scribble down quickly enough as I took notes on what I was reading. It all felt like fuel to the fire of my NPO.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Understanding that we hide when we can\u2019t trust ( ourselves and others)…Understanding just how much of our adult lives and leadership are shaped by our experiences during childhood\u2026Understanding that our job as adults is to know ourselves, free ourselves and help others do the same\u2026 Understanding that we need restoration\u2026 Understanding that true restoration can only come from God\u2026Understanding that we often must be taught to receive\u2026Understanding that this work is about freedom, healing, reconciliation, trust, vulnerability, intimacy, and Oneness\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As thoughts continue to stir, I can\u2019t help but wonder what this means for me. While I don\u2019t have a concrete next-step application, what I do know is that I feel affirmed and encouraged that Im moving in the right direction. That said, this did resurface a curiosity of who best to target for the greatest level of impact regarding leadership intervention.\u00a0 Despite initially doing his research on adults, Walker has now established a practice working with adolescents, as they develop into adults and \u201cundefended\u201d leaders. \u00a0 So much of the work I must do with the women I serve is about revisiting younger versions of themselves and reparenting that inner child who feels scared, alone, afraid, unloved, etc. I\u2019m now wondering what it might look like to expand my program intergenerationally. The theme of intergenerational connection and community building has already come up in my research regarding collective healing, however, I was looking at it more so from a lens of bringing in women who are even older than my target audience. Now I sit with what it could look like to address these deeper issues right when they first appear in a young girl\u2019s life.\u00a0 As I continue to make space for things to unfold, im curious to know,\u00a0 in what way(s) are you thinking about and addressing the impact of past experiences and developmental stages on your NPO audience?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1] <\/span>Walker, Simon P. <\/span>Leading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/span><\/i>. Carlisle, UK: Piquant, 2007.<\/span><\/p>\n

[2]<\/span>Ducker, Chris. \u201cLeading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership .\u201d <\/span>Encounters Mission Journal<\/span><\/i>, no. 39 (n.d.). <\/span>https:\/\/www.redcliffe.ac.uk\/research\/encounters-mission-journal\/encounters-mission-journal-issue-39-book-review-3<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

[3]<\/span>Hartman, Andrew. \u201cLeading out of Who You Are by Simon P Walker. An Executive Book Summary.\u201d Squarespace. Andrew Hartman, September 23, 2016.<\/span>https:\/\/static1.squarespace.com\/static\/5df3bc9a62ff3e45ae9d2b06\/t\/5e384525947a5125262f7a7c\/1580746028131\/Leading+Out+of+Who+You+Are.Walker.EBS.pdf<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

[4]Ibid<\/span><\/p>\n

[5]<\/span>Morgan, Alison. \u201cSimon Walker: The Undefended Leader Trilogy.\u201d Alison Morgan. Alison Morgan, April 2014. <\/span>https:\/\/www.alisonmorgan.co.uk\/Books\/Walker%202007.pdf<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

[6]Ibid<\/span>[7] <\/span>Ducker, Chris. \u201cLeading out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership .\u201d <\/span>Encounters Mission Journal<\/span><\/i>, no. 39 (n.d.). <\/span>https:\/\/www.redcliffe.ac.uk\/research\/encounters-mission-journal\/encounters-mission-journal-issue-39-book-review-3<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In \u201cLeading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership,\u201d \u00a0Simon Walker invites us to engage leadership on a more personal level, seeing it as a journey of self-awareness that\u2019s fundamentally \u201cabout who you are, not what you know or what skills you have.\u201d\u00a0 With this as the foundation, he says that\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":209,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,1718],"class_list":["post-36770","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-walker","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36770","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/209"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36770"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36770\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36783,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36770\/revisions\/36783"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36770"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36770"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36770"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}