{"id":36634,"date":"2024-03-14T09:51:06","date_gmt":"2024-03-14T16:51:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=36634"},"modified":"2024-03-14T09:51:06","modified_gmt":"2024-03-14T16:51:06","slug":"by-our-wounds-we-are-healed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/by-our-wounds-we-are-healed\/","title":{"rendered":"By Our Wounds We Are Healed"},"content":{"rendered":"

“I’ve watched my dreams all fade away
\nAnd blister in the sun
\nEverything I’ve ever had is unraveled and undone
\nI’ve set upon a worthless stack
\nOf my ambitious plans
\nAnd the people that I’ve loved the most
\nHave turned their backs and ran<\/p>\n

This is the good life
\nI’ve lost everything
\nI could ever want
\nAnd ever dream of
\nThis is the good life
\nI found everything
\nI could ever need
\nHere in Your arms.” (Lyrics from the song, “Good Life” by Audio Adrenaline)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’d like to tell you how I’m famous.<\/p>\n

In resistance to “impression management” I want to share with you that I hold the record for the most points given up in the least amount of time in ALL of American college football history. ALL of it. All the college football games, in all the divisions, in all of its history.<\/p>\n

27 points in 79 seconds<\/a>. 79 seconds was all it took for my college football career to end.\u00a0 While I wasn’t the only one on the field when all this occurred, I was the quarterback (ironically or gracious unnamed in the article), the one primarily responsible for the success, or failure, of the offense on the field.<\/p>\n

I had worked hard to recover from a devastating knee injury to return to the field of play, and was having the game of my life, until those fateful 79 seconds. I was splitting time on the field with my younger brother at quarterback, a whole other story. But after a fumble and two interceptions, my football career was essentially over. I vividly remember sitting on the sidelines with a towel over my head, reflecting on the 15 years of football I had played up until this moment and all the dreams and aspirations I had that would no longer be a reality.<\/p>\n

It was one of the best things to ever happen to me.<\/p>\n

I wanted to be a leader. I wanted to follow Jesus with all of my heart, mind, soul and strength. But I was unfamiliar with suffering.<\/p>\n

What I didn’t realize in the loss of my dreams and hopes and the reality of my failure as a college athlete was that God was shaping in me a deep reservoir of acquaintance with grief and sorrow. I grew up in a loving home with tremendous privilege and was successful in school, sports and in life. I had built my identity around my success in those things, and my Defining Ego was driven on the Front Stage of success and a bright future and driven Back Stage by hard work and a loving home. But I was unfamiliar with suffering, and unfamiliar with pain. This experience was one of many that introduced me to suffering and loss in the next ten years of my life. I was invited, as Walker states, “to discover the freedom to fail, to learn that they can fail and survive. They need to acknowledge their failures rather than burying them in denial as they are tempted to do.” (107)<\/p>\n

The Undefended Leader<\/em>\u00a0is a treasure trove of leadership development and understanding, tracing what forms us as leaders and how we embrace an undefended leadership posture in our daily lives. It is a book that I will return to often for many different insights, but it was this insight on suffering and leadership that was most compelling to me. Walker articulates well how a Defining Ego strives for success in every area of their life. (71) And he competently and persuasively articulates the power of suffering and loss in the shaping of a leader’s moral authority. Walker states that, “Moral authority…has to do with the kind of life one has lived. Very often it is only acquired through personal struggle and loss. “(7)<\/p>\n

As I’ve learned to navigate the role of pastor in a faith community over the last 15 years, I’ve realized that what faith communities need are vulnerable and transparent leadership. In Dan Allender’s book Leading with a Limp<\/em> he reminds us that, “This is the strange paradox of leading: to the degree you attempt to hide or dissemble your weaknesses, the more you will need to control those you lead, the more insecure you will become, and the more rigidity you will impose\u2014prompting the ultimate departure of your best people. The dark spiral of spin control inevitably leads to people\u2019s cynicism and mistrust. So do yourself and your organization a favor and don\u2019t go there. Prepare now to admit to your staff that you are the organization\u2019s chief sinner.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leaders that are willing to embrace their weaknesses and be appropriately vulnerable and transparent give the people around them permission to do the same and keep themselves in a right relationship with a God who lavishes grace and mercy upon anyone who is humble enough to ask for it. The death of my dreams, the vulnerable engagement with the suffering and loss I’ve experienced, the confession of failures and mistakes I’ve made in leadership have been the rich soil in which God has produced the best fruit in my life and my leadership. I realize now that I am living out Walker’s articulation of a Definer’s journey with pain: “For the Definer, the pain of failure…can be the catalyst for monumental life change. Often, they will perceive such moments as ‘conversions’ that turned their lives around. These can fill their lives with purpose and meaning, as they become evangelists for the new reality they’ve discovered.” (143)<\/p>\n

The death of my dream as a college athlete birthed in me a new closeness and intimacy with Jesus, “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” (Is. 53:3) It has brought me closer to others, and closer to my true self. It has given me a deep appreciation for the people in my life that love me unconditionally and the joy that comes from each day’s opportunities and challenges. I am learning to become an undefended leader, by the grace of God and the mercy of those who love me. This really is the Good Life.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

“I’ve watched my dreams all fade away And blister in the sun Everything I’ve ever had is unraveled and undone I’ve set upon a worthless stack Of my ambitious plans And the people that I’ve loved the most Have turned their backs and ran This is the good life I’ve lost everything I could ever […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":196,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-36634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/196"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36634"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36642,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36634\/revisions\/36642"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}