{"id":36529,"date":"2024-04-15T12:00:41","date_gmt":"2024-04-15T19:00:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=36529"},"modified":"2024-04-15T12:28:39","modified_gmt":"2024-04-15T19:28:39","slug":"embrace-the-suck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/embrace-the-suck\/","title":{"rendered":"Embrace the Suck"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the spirit of Bobby Duffy’s Why We’re Wrong About Nearly<\/em> Everything<\/em>, let me begin with a confession to all my doctoral peers*<\/strong> that I was wrong about something: \u00a0Brene Brown is amazing.<\/strong><\/p>\n

In a previous blog post<\/a> I made an arguable statement: “I’m not a huge Brene’ Brown fan. Go ahead, crucify me. I know she is popular, brilliant, and contributes widely to society. I don’t hate her, OK. I just didn’t jump onto the Brene’ bandwagon like so many…”<\/em><\/p>\n

Welp, I was wrong. Bren\u00e9 Brown is pretty legit. I will now return my borrowed copy of Dare to Lead,\u00a0<\/em>and from this point forward I will purchase my own copies [at full price], and add her splendid works to my burgeoning library.<\/p>\n

The phrase that won me over is: \u00a0Embrace the Suck.**<\/strong><\/p>\n

For whatever reason I gingerly placed Bren\u00e9 Brown in the Oprah, Hobby Lobby, Venti Caramel Macchiato with Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Foam, “Hey, Gurl, Speak Your Truth” category. But, in reality, this writer is kind of bad ass. She doesn’t pull many, if any, punches. And I don’t say this (trust me) with some kind of “for a woman” disclaimer. Brown doesn’t pull many punches by ANY authors’ standards, female or male.<\/p>\n

What tripped me up previously was a cursory knowledge of Brown’s primary subjects; empathy and vulnerability. I chocked these concepts up as fru fru, passive and overly emotive. But in reality, Brown contends that these subjects involve courage, bravery and the ability to “rumble.” She defines “rumble” as “a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to take a break and circle break when necessary, to be fearless in owning our parts, and listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard” (Brown, 10). She goes on to contend that, “Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability” (Brown, 11).<\/p>\n

There is nothing fru fru about that!<\/p>\n

I now know this due to two reasons:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Because I actually read<\/strong> something by Bren\u00e9 Brown, rather than forming an opinion of her as an author merely by hearsay, tweets, or memes.<\/li>\n
  2. Because I am farther along with my NPO, and I now have qualifiable proof\/data that empathy and vulnerability, as well as “Embracing the Suck,” are important aspects in pastoral resilience.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    My NPO: Foursquare Lead Pastors are increasingly burning out, isolated, and\/or leaving the ministry, and it may be due to a combination of waning self-care, diminishing joy and connection, and an under-developed theology of suffering. <\/em><\/p>\n

    Through my research, workshops, one-on-one interviews, and prototypes I have discovered that pastoral leaders long to be known, seen, heard, and loved. Also revealed is the importance of “a robust theology of suffering.” Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder in Rare Leadership<\/em> would term this \u201csuffering well.\u201d They say, “We all suffer. We all endure hardship. What separates maturity from immaturity is the ability to suffer well.\u201d[1]<\/a><\/p>\n

    Bren\u00e9 Brown simply calls this: “Embrace the Suck.”<\/p>\n

    And, in life and ministry, sometimes, suck it does (said in my best Yoda voice).<\/p>\n

    Warner and Wilder go onto make an important connection between suffering well and joy. \u201cJoy makes it much easier to bounce back from the hard things that happen throughout the day\u2026the human brain was designed for joy. It is a joy-seeking machine [that] seeks joy above every other human experience.\u201d[2]<\/a> This is why Warner and Wilder contend that \u201cthe key to enduring hardship is relational joy.\u201d[3]<\/a> Joy and suffering are connected throughout Scripture, and Warner and Wilder have found them to be confirmed by brain science research as well. Scripturally, Peter, in 1 Peter 1:6-9 wrote that it was possible to experience \u201cinexpressible and glorious joy\u201d in spite of enduring \u201cgrief in all kinds of trials. James 1:2 instructs us to \u201cconsider it all joy\u2026whenever you face trials of many kinds.” Hebrews 12:2 invites us to run with perseverance, fixing our eyes on Jesus, who \u201cfor the joy set before him, endured the cross.\u201d<\/p>\n

    In other words, Jesus embraced the suck and so should WE. Philippians 3:10 exhorts us this way: \u201cI want to know Christ\u2014yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.\u201d This scriptural and theological understanding is often overlooked or downplayed in modern Evangelical church leadership, replete with celebrity pastors, the prosperity-lite gospel and Instagram accounts such as @preachersnsneakers that seem to only showcase success and wealth. Lead Pastors are not immune to the lure, yet when struggles come, and tragedy strikes, disillusionment and depression are soon to follow, resulting in burnout, isolation, and\/or resignation.<\/span><\/p>\n

    Perhaps suffering is a feature, not a bug. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Perhaps, Bren\u00e9 Brown is right in her invitation to Embrace the Suck. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Perhaps I was wrong about Bren\u00e9 Brown. <\/span><\/p>\n

    Perhaps, in the spirit of Bobby Duffy, I am wrong about nearly everything!<\/span><\/p>\n

    That there is me being vulnerable, yet, without shame.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    *\u00a0I want to mention just how amazing I think my doctoral peers are. I am so blessed to be in this degree with you all. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Honestly, I’m actually quite emotional even typing these words. You have been a gift from God.\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

    ** There is a 2021 book entitled “Embrace the Suck” by Brent Gleeson, of which I have not read, nor do I know if the term “Embrace the Suck” originated with Gleeson. I will let Bren\u00e9 Brown and the Navy Seals sort that out. My money is on Bren\u00e9.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    [1]<\/a> Brene Brown, Dare to Lead<\/em> (New York, NY: Random House, 2018), 10.<\/p>\n

    [1]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership in the Workplace<\/em> (Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 2021), 15.<\/p>\n

    [2]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership <\/em>(Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016), 51.<\/p>\n

    [3]<\/a> Ibid. 188.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    <\/a><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    In the spirit of Bobby Duffy’s Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything, let me begin with a confession to all my doctoral peers* that I was wrong about something: \u00a0Brene Brown is amazing. In a previous blog post I made an arguable statement: “I’m not a huge Brene’ Brown fan. Go ahead, crucify me. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":172,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2310],"tags":[3104,3105,3108,3106,3107,1517],"class_list":["post-36529","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doctor-of-leadership-3","tag-brene","tag-dare","tag-embrace","tag-lead","tag-suck","tag-brown","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36529","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/172"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36529"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36529\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":37529,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36529\/revisions\/37529"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36529"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36529"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36529"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}