![\"How](\"https:\/\/www.verywellfamily.com\/thmb\/A3euF_zpWBxickACiBKOweZ8jmM=\/1500x0\/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()\/sb10069280ad-001-56a99af85f9b58b7d0fd44ec.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
When I was 12, I started High School in Australia. My Father was the pastor of the local Pentecostal Church, and the opening of the magnificent new church premises[1]<\/a> coincided with my first weeks in a new school. The new church was the talk of the small town. It was front-page news and seemingly the gossip on all the street corners in our city of 60,000 people. Little did I know the effect the opening of that new building was going to have on my life.<\/p>\n Simon Walker states, \u201cThe emotion of fear makes us instinctively defend ourselves.\u201d[2]<\/a> He says, \u201cas long as we feel for our job, as long as we fear for our salary, as long as we fear for our reputation, as long as we fear for our popularity, as long as we fear for our credibility, as long as we fear for our wealth, as long as we fear for our control, we cannot be truly free.\u201d [3]<\/a> I might also add as long as we fear for our life in that last statement.<\/p>\n The church building opened, I went to school, and imagine my surprise when the school bullies chose me, the son of THAT pastor from THAT church, for their \u201cfun\u201d game called \u201cCrucify the Christian!\u201d Whether it was books being knocked out of my hands, being pursued during lunch break, or the horrors of being hung by my feet off the second-story balcony, three years of bullying had an effect. Fortunately, the nurturing environment of a loving family (unaware of the bullying) and the vibrant community of my church youth group provided a counterbalance to the distress of being bullied. Nevertheless, this experience shaped me into a guarded individual, naturally evolving into a “defended leader” as a consequence.<\/p>\n Walker’s clever articulation of the four egos\u2014shaping, defining, adapting, and defending\u2014gave me pause for thought. I found myself resonating with the characteristics of each ego, which initially caused some concern. I was encouraged, however, when he wrote, \u201cNo single pattern will define us.\u201d [4]<\/a> I was then reminded of the wonders of marriage. According to Walker’s book, being subjected to teenage bullying and becoming a defended leader are unavoidable consequences. Walker discusses the crash associated when the frontstage has been given a lot of attention, but the backstage has been neglected.[5]<\/a> I have seen that all too often in ministry with colleagues from Bible school and pastors in churches over the past 28 years. I can honestly say, “There but for the grace of God go I.” Marriage saved me. My wife is from a Latin American family, but she was born and raised in Australia. She is fierce. She believes in \u201cCosa Nostra,\u201d[6]<\/a> and she is true. My wife will not allow my backstage[7]<\/a> \u00a0to be neglected. Two years into our marriage, after returning home late on Friday nights from leading youth ministry, I found myself in a weekly routine. I would wake up early on Saturdays, open the curtains downstairs, and then return to bed. This pattern persisted until my wife confronted me one morning. She wanted to know why I went downstairs early every Saturday morning. I explained that I did it to avoid neighbours assuming I was sleeping in on a Saturday. Her response was explosive yet poignant. She refused to let our lives revolve around appearances. I was faced with a choice: adapt or face consequences. Thankfully, that pivotal moment 26 years ago set me on a journey of ensuring that the backstage of our lives receives the attention it deserves so as not to jeopardise the frontstage.<\/p>\n Walker’s analysis highlights a prevalent dilemma in Church leadership, which I’ve personally experienced: leaders tend to fall into either the category of “very safe or very unsafe” [8]<\/a> as defined by him. About types of leaders, he writes, \u201cIt is very safe if you are on his side \u2013 protection is yours. However, for those on the backstage, in the shadows, life is very unsafe.\u201d[9]<\/a> What a sad indictment on any organisation, let alone the church. Regrettably, given Walker’s insightful examination of the tensions between backstage and frontstage dynamics, as well as the detrimental effects of the Messiah Syndrome attributed to both pastors and congregations, it’s likely that we’ll witness more instances of leadership breakdowns.<\/p>\n In highlighting moral authority[10]<\/sup><\/a> in the opening chapter of the book, the author sets out the ideal model for us to emulate. In the same way David killed a Lion and Bear (1 Samuel 17), which gave him the private moral authority during the public moment of opportunity against Goliath, our aim must always be the integrity of the unseen world (backstage) supporting the visible world (frontstage) in leadership. Perhaps the bullying, which created a defended leader mindset within me, and marriage which exposed it for what it was, was my Lion and Bear moment. The vulnerability of backstage is met with the truth that \u201cwe are secured not by our skills and resources but by attachment to another one who is big enough not to be overwhelmed by our failures and weaknesses.\u201d[11]<\/a> Selah.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n [1]<\/a> Toowoomba Assembly Of God<\/em>, 1983. https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=QDHEvFRSPko<\/a>.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Walker, Simon P. Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership: No. 1<\/em>. Piquant Editions, 2007. 141.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Ibid, 103.<\/p>\n [4]<\/a> Ibid, 96.<\/p>\n [5]<\/a> Ibid, 75.<\/p>\n [6]<\/a> Ibid, 67.<\/p>\n [7]<\/a> Ibid, 26.<\/p>\n [8]<\/a> Ibid, 67.<\/p>\n