{"id":36189,"date":"2024-02-28T13:02:54","date_gmt":"2024-02-28T21:02:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=36189"},"modified":"2024-02-28T13:02:54","modified_gmt":"2024-02-28T21:02:54","slug":"sacred-memories-nurturing-our-relationship-with-god-through-remembering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/sacred-memories-nurturing-our-relationship-with-god-through-remembering\/","title":{"rendered":"Sacred Memories: Nurturing Our Relationship with God Through Remembering"},"content":{"rendered":"

We were on a cross-country driving trip when I told my sister about how apparently, an angel had taken care of me.<\/span><\/p>\n

It was July 2020, the month when it finally dawned on most people that Covid wasn\u2019t going away \u201cin two weeks.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After an ugly divorce, my sister – younger than I am by three-and-a-half years, and childless – had moved to Texas from Oregon less than three years before. She is an incredible massage therapist and esthetician. Needless to say, however, her livelihood was completely shut down at that time; she was living utterly alone and isolated; and she knew it was time for another dramatic change.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Although post-college she had started as a paralegal in little Orford, NH, she had spent several decades living on the West Coast. Now she decided to sell her house near Dallas, Texas, and move back to NH to live with our parents until she could work again, and so she could be close to my tight-knit family of adult children (she has always been the \u201ccool aunt\u201d!), and start her life all over again.<\/span><\/p>\n

I knew I needed to help her, but I didn\u2019t trust flying at that time. So I drove a rental car from Maine to Nashville, where I met her, along with her three dogs and a trailer with all her worldly possessions. We took turns driving her car from there to New London, NH.<\/span><\/p>\n

Along the way, we talked about our earliest memories. I told her about how – when I was only about three years old, living in the first apartment our parents had rented in NJ – I used to play a little game.<\/span><\/p>\n

I would climb from the landing to the first step, turn around, and jump down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I\u2019d go to the second step, turn around, and jump down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I kept doing this until I got higher and higher. When I jumped off the sixth or seventh step, I distinctly remember \u201cfloating\u201d down to the landing at the bottom. It felt like an angel had carried me through the air and placed me gently on the floor. (I stopped jumping off of stairs at that point!)<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cOh my God!\u201d she said (yes, she says that). \u201cI had almost the exact same experience!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Here we were, in our 50s, just getting to know each other for the first time in our adult lives. Driving across the country together for several days, sharing stories we\u2019d never shared before. Remembering things we had forgotten.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remembering helped us connect with each other in a more caring and intimate way. It set the stage for continual growth in our relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Remembering is also an important way we attach to God and grow in him, through depending on him.<\/span><\/p>\n

In Psalm 77, the psalmist writes,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me. When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands, and I would not be comforted.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI remembered you, God, and I groaned; I meditated, and my spirit grew faint\u2026 I thought about the former days, the years of long ago; I remembered my songs in the night\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The first part of this psalm is written in clear desperation and despair. But it doesn\u2019t stay there. As so often happens in the Psalms, the psalmist ends by remembering the goodness of God. He writes,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThen I thought, \u2018To this I will appeal: the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c’I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201c’I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds\u2026\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In his book, <\/span>Thinking Fast and Slow<\/span><\/i>, Daniel Kahneman first explains that we have two \u201csystems\u201d that operate in our minds. System 1 is unconscious and affects our thoughts and behaviors in ways about which we are often ignorant. System 2 is conscious; we think we\u2019re in charge of what we\u2019re doing and the choices we make, but System 1 often sneaks in priming and other strategies that affect everything we think and do.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kahneman then introduces the concept of two selves: the experiencing self and the remembering self. The experiencing self lives in the moment, feeling pleasure and pain, while the remembering self reflects on past experiences and evaluates them overall. The remembering self plays a significant role in decision-making, as it focuses on memories rather than present experiences.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Kahneman highlights that our happiness is influenced more by <\/span>how we remember<\/span><\/i> experiences rather than the experiences themselves. Because memory is aided by powerful emotions, this influence is due to factors like the <\/span>peak-end rule<\/span><\/i>, where memories are shaped by the peak pleasure or pain of an experience and how it ends, and <\/span>duration neglect,<\/span><\/i> which minimizes the impact of the duration of an experience on memory.<\/span><\/p>\n

How does our experience or memory contribute to – or detract from – our happiness? Kahneman writes,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThe experience of a moment or an episode is not easily represented by a single happiness value. There are many variants of positive feelings, including love, joy, engagement, hope, amusement, and many others. Negative emotions also come in many varieties, including anger, shame, depression, and loneliness. Although positive and negative emotions exist at the same time, it is possible to classify most moments of life as ultimately positive or negative\u2026\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

“An individual\u2019s mood at any moment depends on her temperament and overall happiness, but emotional well-being also fluctuates considerably over the day and the week. The mood of the moment depends primarily on the current situation\u2026\u201d [1]\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In his book <\/span>Self-Care: A Theology of Personal Empowerment & Spiritual Healing,<\/span><\/i> Ray S. Anderson explains what this means for faithful believers,<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe can make a distinction between feelings as the irrational aspect of the self which \u2018stirs up\u2019 the heart, and emotion which is the attitude of the heart as oriented toward the promises of God. The psalmist prays: \u2018Relieve the troubles of my heart, and bring me out of my distress\u2019 (Ps. 25:17). The first sentence literally reads, \u2018Expand the narrow places of my heart.\u2019 H.W. Wolff comments: \u2018Here the pains of angina and its anxiety coincide. But in Ps. 119:32, talk about the \u201cenlarging\u201d of the heart, that is to say the relieving of its cramp, has already left the idea of physical recovery far behind:\u2019 \u2018I run the way of your commandments, for you enlarge my understanding [heart]\u2019 (ps. 119:32).\u201d [2]\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Anderson continues, \u201cthe intellectual or rational aspect of the self is not viewed as a capacity for abstract thought but as fully integrated with the affective power of the emotions. As a matter of fact, there was no Hebrew equivalent to our infinitive, \u2018to think.\u2019 Rather, the function of the heart is \u2018to remember,\u2019 \u2018 to reflect upon,\u2019 and \u2018have true knowledge.\u2019\u201d [3]\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As we also learned from\u00a0A Failure of Nerve<\/em> by Edwin Friedman, “Messages… come through less because of the quality of their content than because of the emotional envelope in which they are delivered.” [4]<\/p>\n

In our spiritual journey, remembering is key in our relationship with God, and emotions play an important role in encoding those memories into our experience and our bodies. Just as recalling past experiences with my sister deepened our bond, reflecting on God’s faithfulness, provision, and guidance can strengthen our faith. Remembering stories of God’s goodness can inspire gratitude, provide comfort in trials, and nurture a deeper connection with the God who calls us \u201cbeloved child.\u201d In this journey, may we look back with thankfulness and forward with hope, trusting in God’s promises to guide us in love and faith.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

========<\/p>\n

1 – Daniel Kahneman,\u00a0Thinking Fast and Slow<\/em> (New Delhi: Penguin Random House, 2011),\u00a0 \u00a0393-394\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

2 – Ray S. Anderson, Self-Care: A Theology of Personal Empowerment & Spiritual<\/span><\/i> Healing (Eugene, OR: WIPF & STOCK, 2010),<\/span> 80.<\/span><\/p>\n

3 – Anderson,\u00a081.<\/span><\/p>\n

4 – Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve\u00a0<\/em>(New York: Church Publishing, 2017),\u00a0<\/span>136.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We were on a cross-country driving trip when I told my sister about how apparently, an angel had taken care of me. It was July 2020, the month when it finally dawned on most people that Covid wasn\u2019t going away \u201cin two weeks.\u201d After an ugly divorce, my sister – younger than I am by […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,2052],"class_list":["post-36189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-kahneman","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36189","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36189"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36189\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36194,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36189\/revisions\/36194"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36189"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36189"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36189"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}