{"id":36078,"date":"2024-02-22T18:19:49","date_gmt":"2024-02-23T02:19:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=36078"},"modified":"2024-02-22T18:19:49","modified_gmt":"2024-02-23T02:19:49","slug":"whos-showing-up-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/whos-showing-up-today\/","title":{"rendered":"Who’s Showing Up Today?"},"content":{"rendered":"

For a little over a year, I\u2019ve been meeting with a leadership coach, thanks to our assignments and reading Mining for Gold<\/em>.[i]<\/a> The person I currently meet with is retired from running several companies and spends much of his time coaching others and speaking at leadership conferences, which is where I met him. He is also heavily involved in his church in Kansas City.<\/p>\n

Besides his joyful demeanour, which I’ll get to later, one thing I\u2019ve noticed about my coach over the last year is his ability to read people. He is incredibly intuitive. Unfortunately, this gift was birthed from years of pain and instability in his childhood. One day I mentioned his knack for noticing social cues and he explained that he grew up with an alcoholic and verbally abusive Father. Every day when his dad got home he would begin scanning body language to gauge which Dad was showing up that day. Was it angry dad, stressed dad, relaxed dad, or happy dad? \u00a0The Dad who showed up<\/em> from work determined the climate of the house, and alcohol only intensified his mood.<\/p>\n

My coach\u2019s childhood trauma is truly a case of what Paul says in Romans 8:28, \u201cAnd we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.\u201d, because he uses this developed sensitivity to meet the needs of those he leads. However, this scenario also illustrates the climate a leader creates when their mood, attitude, or behaviour is inconsistent or unpredictable. Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder\u2019s insights on leading well, by prioritizing relationships, even when we are stressed, hurt, moody, angry, feel shame, or sad is extremely practical and convicting. They call this Rare Leadership<\/em>. This acrostic (with some of my own takeaways) means:<\/p>\n

R-Remain Relational (In contrast to prioritizing tasks or solving problems)<\/p>\n

A-Always Be Yourself (the best version of yourself)<\/p>\n

R-Return to Joy (feel your emotions, but maintain habits that quickly move you back to joy)<\/p>\n

E-Endure Hardship Well (we become reliable leaders<\/em> when we practice the first three)[ii]<\/a><\/p>\n

One of the reasons AI is so enticing and useful is its level of reliability, which is increasing all the time. It problem-solves, calculates, and spits out data. Even better, AI doesn\u2019t get offended, it doesn\u2019t feel despair, and never holds a grudge\u2026at least I don\u2019t think it does. However, we humans sure can. This is part of our \u201cjunk code\u201d that Eve Poole discusses in her book Robot Souls<\/em>. Our \u201cmessy emotions\u201d and propensity for mistakes contribute to our \u201chumanness\u201d.[iii]<\/a><\/p>\n

I would love to think I am always steady, grounded, and consistent in my temperament and mood, but I know better. I don\u2019t always show up as my \u201cbest self\u201d to those I lead and influence. This book encouraged me to evaluate what I do when I feel hurt, angry, sad, fed up, ashamed, insecure, or overwhelmed. Rather than quickly return to joy, I can get quiet and may withdraw, and then my joy and playfulness quickly dwindle. I notice the impact this has on our staff and my family. When I bring the energy it is contagious, the opposite is true as well. Sometimes this means faking it and pulling from a wellspring that\u2019s empty, which drains me even more. This is usually due to a lack of the three things Warner and Wilder mention in their books.<\/p>\n