{"id":36059,"date":"2024-02-22T11:57:29","date_gmt":"2024-02-22T19:57:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=36059"},"modified":"2024-02-22T12:00:30","modified_gmt":"2024-02-22T20:00:30","slug":"transforming-anxiety-into-calm-embracing-the-with-god-life-for-effective-leadership","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/transforming-anxiety-into-calm-embracing-the-with-god-life-for-effective-leadership\/","title":{"rendered":"Transforming Anxiety into Calm: Embracing the ‘With-God Life’ for Effective Leadership"},"content":{"rendered":"

What does a \u201cwith-God life\u201d look like?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

What makes it different and attractive?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Do we need to have a perfect with-God life to invite others to join us on the journey?<\/span><\/p>\n

These are questions I had been praying about so I could discern how to talk about discipleship and disciple-making for my doctoral project.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I didn’t have good answers to these questions and was concerned about being a bit hypocritical if my own life is not attractive to those who are not yet following Jesus. I wrote in my journal, asking God to help me with this.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then I picked up the commentary by David Atkinson that is helping me work through Genesis. I turned to the section about Cain. Atkinson wrote, “There is no peace for human beings unless they can discover the freedom of living within the providence of God, can see their lives as the focus of his care, and believe that their highest good is found in living under his will… When, as with Cain, we are separated from God, our world is one of constantly searching anxiety. For in him is our satisfaction. Anywhere else, as Augustine said, our hearts are restless until they rest in God.” [1]<\/span><\/p>\n

He then quotes Calvin, “There is no peace for men, unless they acquiesce in the providence of God, and are persuaded that their lives are the objects of his care.” Atkinson concludes, “Does not the restlessness of Cain picture vividly a life that is lived outside the presence of God?” [2]<\/span> That describes exactly (at least one aspect of) what the with-God life is all about: a life without anxiety, without the restless searching for meaning, purpose, and unchangeable love\u2014a life of <\/span>shalom<\/span><\/i>.<\/span><\/p>\n

I love it when I ask God for something and he immediately gives it to me! I can’t say that happens very often, but it is a true gift when it does. I shared this experience with a friend and she replied, \u201c<\/span>I agree that asking and receiving from the Lord Jesus is life-giving and feels like love – which it is!\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

In his book, <\/span>A Failure of Nerve<\/span><\/i>, Edwin Friedman provides a long commentary about how important it is for leaders to differentiate themselves by a combination of courageously distinguishing their individual <\/span>self<\/span><\/i> yet staying connected to others. But this is a challenge. He states, \u201cThe struggle between individuality and togetherness exists in every relationship system.\u201d [3]<\/span><\/p>\n

A key part of Friedman\u2019s thesis is that effective leaders must be able to remain a calm, non-anxious presence within an anxious system (whether that be a family, church, business, country, etc.). He describes how leadership stress and burnout (the topic of my doctoral project!) are far less about busy schedules and far more about triangulated emotional relationships. Taking responsibility for others\u2019 relationships is exhausting. He says, \u201cThe way out is to make the two persons responsible for their own relationship, or the other person responsible for his or her problem, <\/span>while all still remain connected<\/span><\/i>\u2026 Staying in a triangle without getting triangled oneself gives one far more power than never entering the triangle in the first place.\u201d [4]<\/span><\/p>\n

Building on this idea, in my coach training I learned about the \u201c6 Human Needs\u201d by Anthony Robbins.<\/span> [5] The first two – which are somewhat in tension with each other – are certainty and variety. The second two – which are also somewhat in tension with each other – are significance and love\/connection\/belonging. The last two, which stand alone, are growth and contribution.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Source [6]<\/em><\/p>\n

We all need ALL of those needs (hence, the name). But the first two are on a spectrum, as are needs three and four. In terms of Friedman\u2019s and Steinke\u2019s works, it\u2019s easy to see that when a person or group of people lean too far in one direction or another – too much variety, say, or too much individualization – it leads to anxiety individually and within the group.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Because Friedman doesn\u2019t give much detail about what it means to be a non-anxious leader in a church (it\u2019s just one of many systems he discusses), I turned to Peter Steinke\u2019s <\/span>Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times<\/span><\/i>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Steinke points out, \u201cAnxiety comes from an interesting family of words. The great-grandfather is the Greek <\/span>ananke<\/span><\/i>, meaning \u2018throat\u2019 or \u2018to press together.\u2019 In fact, <\/span>Ananke<\/span><\/i> was the name of the Greek god of constraint who presided over slavery. <\/span>Ananke<\/span><\/i> was the word used for the yokes or rings on the necks of slaves. Anxiety can hold us back, take us by the throat, and chain us like a slave.\u201d<\/span> [7]<\/span><\/p>\n

Anxiety affects us by decreasing our capacity to learn; replacing curiosity with a demand for certainty; stiffening our position against another\u2019s; flooding the nervous system so we cannot hear others clearly; prompting a desire for a quick fix; simplifying our thinking (yes\/no; either\/or); arousing feelings of helplessness or self-doubt; making us defensive; diminishing our flexibility in facing life\u2019s challenges; and diminishing our creativity. [8]<\/span> No wonder anxiety is a key factor in relationships and communities that don\u2019t function well.<\/span><\/p>\n

This brings me back to my questions and the answers I received – by God\u2019s grace – from Atkinson: A with-God life is non-anxious. Not only is it attractive as a way of life, it\u2019s also critical for leadership.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So\u2026 how do we live a with-God life that results in a non-anxious presence, which in turn results in more effective leadership?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Richard Foster explains more about the self and being connected: \u201c\u2018Spiritual formation\u2019 is the process of transforming the inner reality of the self (the inward being of the psalmist) in such a way that the overall life with <\/span>God<\/span><\/i> seen in the Bible naturally and freely comes to pass in us. Our inner world (the secret heart) becomes the home of Jesus, by his initiative and our response. As a result, our interior world becomes increasingly like the inner self of Jesus, and, therefore, the natural source of the words and deeds that are characteristic of him. By his enabling presence, we come to \u2018let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus\u2019 (Phil. 2:5).\u201d [9]<\/span><\/p>\n

So as I move forward with my NPO project and prepare to assist pastors and ministry leaders of all types in healing and preventing burnout and busy-ness, I will be certain to talk about spending time with Jesus – the with-God life – to become more like Jesus. This is the key to being a non-anxious, non-triangulating presence that ultimately shifts the culture of its community, so the leader can lead more effectively.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The eye of the storm seems very calm indeed when the wind is howling and nothing else is stable. That calm stability is a gift of God. It\u2019s how we are called to lead in the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

====================<\/p>\n

1 – David Atkinson,\u00a0The Message of Genesis, 1-11<\/em>. (Downers Grove, ILL: IVP Academic, 1990), 111.<\/p>\n

2 – Atkinson, 112.<\/p>\n

3 – Edwin Friedman,\u00a0A Failure of Nerve <\/em>(New York: Church Publishing, 2017), 184.<\/p>\n

4 – Friedman, 234.<\/p>\n

5 – Team Tony, “Discover the 6 Human Needs”.\u00a0 Tony Robbins, accessed Feb. 22, 2024, https:\/\/www.tonyrobbins.com\/mind-meaning\/do-you-need-to-feel-significant\/<\/p>\n

6 – Team Tony, “Discover the 6 Human needs.”<\/p>\n

7 – Peter Steinke,\u00a0Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times<\/em> (New York: Roman & Littlefield: 2006),\u00a0 \u00a07-8.<\/p>\n

8 – Steinke, 8-9.<\/p>\n

9 – Richard Foster,\u00a0Life with God<\/em> (No location: Harper Collins Publishers, 2008),\u00a010.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What does a \u201cwith-God life\u201d look like?\u00a0 What makes it different and attractive?\u00a0 Do we need to have a perfect with-God life to invite others to join us on the journey? These are questions I had been praying about so I could discern how to talk about discipleship and disciple-making for my doctoral project.\u00a0 I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":197,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,236],"class_list":["post-36059","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-friedman","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36059","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/197"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36059"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36059\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36063,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36059\/revisions\/36063"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36059"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36059"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36059"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}