{"id":36009,"date":"2024-02-21T00:47:33","date_gmt":"2024-02-21T08:47:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=36009"},"modified":"2024-02-21T13:17:09","modified_gmt":"2024-02-21T21:17:09","slug":"empathy-not-always-empati-tidak-semestinya","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/empathy-not-always-empati-tidak-semestinya\/","title":{"rendered":"Empathy… Not Always (Empati… Tidak Semestinya)"},"content":{"rendered":"

In my reading this week, I learned that the author criticizes the dominant leadership models that rely on data, empathy, and quick fixes. He argues that these models are based on a fallacy of empathy that mixes up feeling and thinking, and reactivity and responsibility. He proposes a different leadership approach that is based on strength, self-differentiation, and adventure, which can overcome the regressive forces that hinder our progress – Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve: <\/em>Leadership in the Age of the Quick<\/em> Fix.[1]<\/a> is an inspiring book. <\/em><\/p>\n

The fallacy of empathy assumes that empathy is a necessary and sufficient condition for making moral judgments or decisions, and that empathy always leads to the right or best outcome.[2]<\/a><\/p>\n

The focus on empathy rather than responsibility lessens the potential for survival of both leaders and followers. [3]<\/a>\u00a0\u00a0 It has contributed to a major misorientation in our society about the nature of what is toxic to life itself.[4]<\/a> According to Friedman, orientation toward empathy rather than responsibility lessens the potential for survival of both leaders and follower.[5]<\/a><\/p>\n

Based on Friedman\u2019s argument on the \u2018fallacy of empathy\u2019 in chapter four [6]<\/a>, I reflected on my own experience as a leader. I used to manage the Bid & Contract department, where I supervised employees and led a cross-functional improvement project for the organization. The work environment was demanding but not hostile. Every task had a deadline and a deliverable to meet customer expectations. Bids had to be submitted on time to avoid disqualification. In this context, I had two employees who often called in sick or had family emergencies, especially on Mondays or after a holiday. Sometimes they would only call at 9:00 a.m. to say they were not coming in, leaving me and the rest of the team with extra work and pending timelines. At first, I empathized with their situations, such as \u2018family emergencies, car breakdowns, and so on.\u2019 But then I wondered, how could they be sick so often when they seemed fine the day before and after a one-day absence? My empathy gradually diminished. I expected these employees to be responsible for the work they were hired and agreed to do. I expected them to show some initiative to share the workload with those who covered for them for their frequent absences or worked overtime to complete their tasks. They never did!<\/p>\n

These absentees created stress and anxiety in other team members, as I mentioned it was a demanding work environment. It impacted on my state of mind to manage productivity, to manage resources and at the same time keeping the rest of the team members happy. (Often to show appreciation I would reward these dedicated team members through HR employee reward program). Thus I agree with Friedman, \u201cas lofty and noble as the concept of empathy may sound and as well-intentioned as those may be who make it the linchpin idea of their theories of healing, education or management, societal regression has too often perverted the use of empathy into a disguise for anxiety a rationalization for the failure to define a position and a power tool in the hands of the \u201csensitive.\u201d[7]<\/a> Honestly, I started to resent these two employees, I started to doubt them, and I disliked how I was feeling. Potentially, this could have become a hostile environment.<\/p>\n

Just about that time, I decided to enter seminary and I struggled with how insensitive I was because the word \u2018empathy\u2019 came up frequently in my classes. Throughout my adult life I have questioned my sensitivity and constantly becoming self-aware when I started to question someone\u2019s accountability and responsibility towards their actions. As I was looking for answers in the scriptures and explore the teachings of Jesus and how He attended to be people, I came across Matthew 9:36, \u201cWhen He saw the crowds, He had compassion<\/u> on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.\u201d [8]<\/a> Empathy is nowhere in the English Bible, not even when I checked the Malay Bible. Compassion and empathy maybe inter-related but the meaning is different. According to Fredman, the word empathy only came into the English language is 1992.[9]<\/a><\/p>\n

I did not think of it much, until I read a book by Paul Bloom, Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion, \u201cIf the claim here is that you need to empathize in order to do good, then it\u2019s easy to see that this is a mistake. \u2026you can do good things without empathy.[10]<\/a>.<\/p>\n

To summarize, I agree with Friedman\u2019s claim and my own experience that responsibility, not empathy, is the key factor in this equation. Being empathic to others, instead of being responsible for one\u2019s own integrity, can reduce the chances of survival for an organism by making them more sensitive to pain, avoiding challenges, and losing their \u201cnerve.\u201d When the leader falls into the empathy trap, it can endanger not only the follower\u2019s survival, but also the leader.[11]<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve:<\/em> Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix<\/em>, 10th <\/sup>Anniversary ed. (New York, Church Publishing, 2017), 18, 31-32. Kindle.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Ibid., 186.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid., 48.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Ibid., 189.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Ibid., 48.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Ibid., 186.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Ibid., 188.<\/p>\n

[8]<\/a> Mathew 9:36 NIV.<\/p>\n

[9]<\/a> Ibid., 190.<\/p>\n

[10]<\/a> Paul Bloom, Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion<\/em>. (New York: NY Harper Collins Publishing, 2016), 42. Kindle.<\/p>\n

[11]<\/a> Ibid., 190-191.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In my reading this week, I learned that the author criticizes the dominant leadership models that rely on data, empathy, and quick fixes. He argues that these models are based on a fallacy of empathy that mixes up feeling and thinking, and reactivity and responsibility. He proposes a different leadership approach that is based on […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":198,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,236],"class_list":["post-36009","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-friedman","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36009","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/198"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36009"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36009\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":36012,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36009\/revisions\/36012"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36009"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36009"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}