{"id":35975,"date":"2024-02-20T08:29:40","date_gmt":"2024-02-20T16:29:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=35975"},"modified":"2024-02-20T09:52:09","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T17:52:09","slug":"developing-rare-leaders-is-my-npo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/developing-rare-leaders-is-my-npo\/","title":{"rendered":"Developing RARE Leaders is my NPO!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead<\/em>, by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder is a timely read. I\u2019ve been researching a variety of models as I begin designing platforms to develop relational connections for ministry leaders with the goal of supporting their social-emotional and spiritual well-being. This book has given me much to consider. The mere mention of the words trust, joy, and engagement in the title caught my attention immediately as being necessary for building strong connections among ministry leaders in my family of churches. The strength of the book is in the personal application for the leader and the potential for coming along side others who desire connection and support in their leadership roles. I find the authors approach and tools personally supportive. This book is a great companion to Wicked Problems <\/em>by Joseph Bentley and Michael Toth. If I\u2019m going to tackle the wicked problems in my sphere of influence, then I need to practice the uncommon habits described in this book, and I need to do them with the support of other people.<\/p>\n

The Uncommon Habits<\/strong><\/p>\n

The uncommon habits are: R<\/strong>emain relational, A<\/strong>ct like yourself, R<\/strong>eturn to joy, and E<\/strong>ndure hardships well.[1]<\/a> Warner and Wilder state, \u201cRARE leaders are the ones who find relational ways to solve problems and thus, keep relationships bigger than problems.\u201d[2]<\/a> They remain relational rather than problem-focused. They don\u2019t lose sight that the relational connection is most important. RARE leaders act like themselves under pressure. The authors identified \u201ctriggers and masks\u201d as reasons leaders stop acting like themselves in tough situations, creating confusion for those they lead.[3]<\/a> Understanding our triggers and the masks we wear to cover weaknesses and shame are critical to developing emotional maturity. Leaders need safe people to come along side so triggers can be tamed, and the masks can fall away. RARE leaders return to joy having learned to validate and manage the strong emotions of anger, shame, fear, hopeless despair, disgust, and sadness.[4]<\/a> Joy can be found even in the midst of trials. Rare leaders endure hardships well. Knowing we are never alone, returning to joy, remembering who we are, while sharing our suffering with others makes this possible.[5]<\/a> These uncommon habits are developed within the context of safe relationships.<\/p>\n

Transforming Slow Thinking into Fast Thinking<\/strong><\/p>\n

What Warner and Wilder are saying is that these habits need to become automatic, but they are far from automatic in most human beings. These skills are developed in the Slow-Track system and transferred to the Fast-Track system through practice. Practice makes behaviors automatic. The authors state, \u201cIt [the Brain] learns by imitation and practice.\u201d[6]<\/a> We need mature leaders to imitate and lots of practice in order to develop these habits.<\/p>\n

I did a quick review of Daniel Kahneman\u2019s System 1 and System 2 thinking.[7]<\/a> Kahneman\u2019s describes System 1 as fast, automatic, intuitive, emotional, involuntary, and heuristic; and System 2 as slow, deliberate, effortful, logical, and controlled.[8]<\/a> This corresponds to the Fast-Track and the Slow-Track systems described by Warner and Wilder.[9]<\/a> We want the RARE Leadership habits to become so automatic that we don\u2019t even think about them, we just do them. Moving skills that take practice in the slow-track system and transforming them into fast-track system behaviors that are automatic help us stay present in the moment, attend to those we are leading, and address wicked problems in a mindful way.<\/p>\n

Edwin Friedman stated in Failure of Nerve<\/em>, \u201cThe kind of \u201csensitivity\u201d that leaders most require is a sensitivity to the degree of chronic anxiety and the lack of self-differentiation in the system that surrounds them.\u201d[10]<\/a> Chronic anxiety and a lack of differentiation within the systems in which we live, and work are wicked problems. They also describe how we humans tend to react rather than respond in challenging situations. This is where our System 1 Thinking or Fast-Track system can derail us. The RARE Leadership habits are skills that help us work through these types of wicked situations so we can get to the specific problem we want to make better and lead effectively.<\/p>\n

Managing these reactions through responding well actually moves us towards connection with others during conflict. As Bentley and Toth clarified, \u201c\u2026wicked problems exist on all levels: intrapersonal, interpersonal,\u00a0 group, team, and organizational levels, as well as societal, national, and global levels.\u201d[11]<\/a> Where conflict, anxiety, and undifferentiated people exist there a wicked problem of some sort needs to be addressed. Moving towards one another instead of away from one another is key.<\/p>\n

Applications to my NPO<\/strong><\/p>\n

My NPO statement: New Life Fellowship of Churches ministry leaders and spouses could benefit from meaningful, practical, and more frequent opportunities for relational connection that encourage being known, accepted, and loved.<\/p>\n

In chapter 6, Imitation, Intimacy, and Identity were identified as places to begin. This practical perspective aligns well with how I am developing my prototypes for a variety of platforms for small group connection and retreat. Within these spaces RARE leadership habits are practiced, experienced, and become automatic. Imitation speaks to mentorship and having a senior, well-differentiated leader meet with ministry leaders on an ongoing and relational basis. Intimacy speaks to developing intimacy with God individually and within the group context. Identity speaks to the tone of the groups as being safe spaces to nurture relationships, develop a team of allies who are supportive, tender towards weaknesses, while remaining committed to seeking God.[12] <\/a>The groups and experiences I am designing are not about accountability. They are about honest sharing with people who are trustworthy, love unconditionally, listen well, are willing to support during challenging times, and rejoice when times are good. They are connection points that bring joy, not fear.<\/p>\n

Personal reflection: Is my identity as an individual and\/or within the groups I belong motivated by fear or joy? How does my answer impact my ability to trust and engage with others on my leadership journey?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead <\/em>(Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2016), 19.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership<\/em>, 123.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid., 149.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Ibid., 159, 171.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Ibid., 177.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Ibid., 110.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=PirFrDVRBo4<\/a><\/p>\n

[8]<\/a> Daniel Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow<\/em>, (New York, NY: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 2013), 20-21.<\/p>\n

[9]<\/a> Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership<\/em>, 26-27.<\/p>\n

[10]<\/a> Edwin Friedman, Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix.<\/em> (New York, NY: Church Publishing, 1999), 146.<\/p>\n

[11]<\/a> Joseph Bentley and Michael Toth, Exploring Wicked Problem: What They are and Why They are Important <\/em>(Bloomington, IN: Archway Publishing, 2020), 36.<\/p>\n

[12]<\/a> Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership<\/em>, 116-119.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead, by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder is a timely read. I\u2019ve been researching a variety of models as I begin designing platforms to develop relational connections for ministry leaders with the goal of supporting their social-emotional and spiritual well-being. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":184,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2310],"tags":[2489,2594,2595],"class_list":["post-35975","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doctor-of-leadership-3","tag-dlgp02","tag-warner","tag-wilder","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35975","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/184"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35975"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35975\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35984,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35975\/revisions\/35984"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35975"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35975"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35975"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}