We must struggle toward choosing one plan over another, not because it is the right one,<\/p>\n
but because it is the best one we can come up with<\/p>\n
-Joseph Bentley and Michael Toth-<\/em><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Cases of domestic violence in our country have shown an increasing number in recent years. In 2023 data, around 18,138 women were recorded as victims.[1]<\/a> That is why the divorce rate in Indonesia has increased significantly in recent years. This is not only a deep and complex social phenomenon, but also a challenge and problem that Christianity and the church must answer. This worrying trend encourages us not to ignore it because of the large number of problems, it also includes many Christian couples and families.<\/p>\n My NPO tries to answer problems related to the need for marriage enrichment for husbands and wives in our local church, which we hope can also be used outside our local church community. In the process of building the NPO, I tried to understand the root causes of problems, to find effective solutions. In this context, the concept of metawork and the meta approach can be a valuable guide for addressing complex problems such as divorce. Bentley and Toth write in their book, \u201cGoing meta means getting better at thinking, talking, and reasoning, and at almost any other activity: making decisions, persuading others, leading a meeting, praising colleagues, disciplining children, giving feedback, composing an essay, or writing a report. And that especially includes solving problems.\u201d[2]<\/a> Bentley and Toth helped me to position myself as a pastor who has a calling on marital relations issues to be able to look at these issues using a broader and deeper perspective.<\/p>\n Addressing the issue of increasing cases of violence in marriage and divorce cases cannot be considered as an individual problem alone, but rather as the impact of ongoing and interrelated social, economic, and cultural conditions. In my NPO, the situation of a prolonged absence of comprehensive, enriching, and strengthening marriage guidance is said to be the main cause of the emergence of problems in Christian marriages. That is why the prolonged chaos in marital relations that plagues Christian husbands and wives is an impact that arises from a prolonged lack of treatment. Bentley and Toth describe that situation as wicked problems, a mess \u201congoing, interrelated, dynamic, fuzzy, complicated, confusing, complex, chaotic situations.\u201d[3]<\/a> A marriage relationship that begins in goodness and is full of blessings can turn into a \u201chell on earth\u201d that seems never-ending.<\/p>\n Facing this challenges, the metawork concept offers a way to initiate change from within us. Metawork begins with introspection, examining how we see, think, and act. The first step in addressing the increase in divorce is realizing that change is not only needed at the structural or system level, but also at the individual level. According to Bentley and Toth, \u201cMetawork begins by whatever we are doing, examining how we are doing it, and then making changes so that things start to work better.\u201d[4]<\/a> Doing metawork in the context of marriage in facing the challenges of violence and divorce means more than just highlighting facts or figures. This includes exploring the underlying causes, both personal and social. In this context, metawork can direct us to become better at thinking, speaking and acting, especially in dealing with complex problems such as divorce. My NPO research shows the need for guidance, strengthening, and enriching marriages is an important need that husbands and wives in our local church need to maintain their marriages. It is important for me as a pastor to pay attention to the needs of the members of the congregation I serve. Jules Glanzer in his book, The Sound of Leadership writes, \u201cCarefully observe the various aspects of the situation and attempt to see the situation the way God sees it. Observing the who, what, when, where, and why of a situation provides the leader with a healthy view of the perceived reality.\u201d[5]<\/a> This means, a pastor or leader needs to always be attached to God to be able to understand the problems that occur and accompany the members of the congregation to resolve their struggles.<\/p>\n Otherwise, Bentley and Toth also give a sign of warning regarding wicked problems. \u201cWicked problems refuse to cooperate. They are messy, ill-defined, open to many competing interpretations, more complex than we understand, and lacking correct answers.\u201d[6]<\/a> I acknowledge that this can certainly dampen hope and enthusiasm. Moreover, Bentley and Toth have emphasized from the early part of their book, \u201cWicked problems can never be truly solved.\u201d[7]<\/a> However, we as God’s servants need to have the attitude of doing our duties as well as possible and responsibly, the rest is God’s authority. Peter Northouse reminds me how to deal with wicked problems. He writes, \u201cLeaders direct their energies toward individuals who are trying to achieve something together. By common, we mean that the leaders and followers have a mutual purpose.\u201d[8]<\/a> For this reason, I continue to set my heart and mind to be optimistic. As Bentley and Toth insist, \u201cOur challenge is twofold: to make changes in ourselves while at the same time we are making changes in the world.\u201d[9]<\/a> Let’s turn back wicked marriage!<\/p>\n [1]<\/a>https:\/\/www.kompas.com\/tren\/read\/2023\/06\/27\/111440465\/tingginya-kasus-kdrt-di-indonesia?page=all<\/a>. Accessed February 14, 2024.<\/p>\n [2]<\/a> Joseph Bentley and Michael Toth,\u00a0Exploring Wicked Problem: What They are and Why They are Important<\/em>\u00a0(Bloomington, IN: Archway Publishing, 2020), 41.<\/p>\n [3]<\/a> Ibid, 63.<\/p>\n [4]<\/a> Ibid, 48.<\/p>\n [5]<\/a> Jules Glanzer,\u00a0The Sound of Leadership: Kingdom Notes to Fine Tune Your Life and Influence<\/em>\u00a0(Plano, TX: Invite Press, 2023), Scribd Version, page 39 of 230.<\/p>\n [6]<\/a> Bentley and Toth, 53.<\/p>\n [7]<\/a> Ibid, 2.<\/p>\n