{"id":35845,"date":"2024-02-15T06:52:27","date_gmt":"2024-02-15T14:52:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=35845"},"modified":"2024-02-19T01:05:01","modified_gmt":"2024-02-19T09:05:01","slug":"stop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/stop\/","title":{"rendered":"STOP!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cStop!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLouder, with more authority. He needs to know you mean it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStOp!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSay it like your life depends on it because it does.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSTOOOOOP!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcellent. Again.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSTOOOOOP!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAgain.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSTOOOOOP!\u201d<\/p>\n

Our self-defense instructor encouraged us, \u201cPractice this in the car, your room, wherever, keep practicing. You need to develop that muscle memory. Practice this so often that, God forbid, if you need it, your body will respond before you even have time to think about it.\u201d That night, at every stoplight on the drive home, I practiced, \u201cSTOOOOOP!\u201d I was a sophomore in college when I took this self-defense class. I wanted to learn ways to help protect myself, as much as was in my power. This is the class I still vividly remember from twenty years ago. The lesson I took away from that course was that any skill learned needs to be practiced so that the muscle memory is ready to react when the need arises.<\/p>\n

In her book, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership, <\/em>Eve Poole also emphasizes \u201cmuscle memory.\u201d <\/em>Her book centers around the idea that preparing and practicing leadership skills over thousands of hours will build muscle memory to respond to future leadership situations, especially the challenging ones we would prefer to avoid. Her method empowers leaders to approach each situation with skills and ability to respond with action over emotion.[1]<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cSTOOOOP!\u201d I whirled around, thrust my arm out, hand flexed, and yelled. Shocked, he stopped. My friends did, too. With a strong and authoritative voice, I told him we did not want his presence, nor his services, and he should leave us alone or I would call the police. To my surprise, he apologized and quickly walked away, probably to find more friendly tourists. When he was far enough for my comfort level, my friends and I quickly headed in the opposite direction towards our guesthouse. Once we turned a corner, I was pummeled by my friends: \u201cHow did you know to do that?\u201d \u201cOne minute he was harassing us, the next he was gone!\u201d \u201cWhat did you say to him?\u201d As I tried to stop the trembling in my knees, I realized I had just successfully stopped a potentially harrowing situation in the narrow and isolated paths of the Old City, Medina, in Marrakech. According to my friends, I did it all in French. Although I have no recollection of which language I used, my brain apparently knew what to say and in which language.<\/p>\n

Prior to going to Marrakech, I had done some research on the city. At the time, it had a reputation for people taking advantage of tourists. Thanks to my research, I learned there was a law against this type of harassing and the police were supposed to enforce it. This knowledge and my self-defense lessons triggered my muscle memory and immediately stopped what could have become a more uncomfortable situation. Living in a similar culture in another country had also helped build my muscle memory as I learned to negotiate the unsolicited advances of far too friendly men. My muscle memory\u2019s response earned me the \u201cleader\u201d badge for the remainder of the trip. This was a pivotal point in my leadership journey. I experienced firsthand that knowledge and preparation paired with practice can prevent, diffuse, or improve a situation. To this day, I still practice, \u201cSTOOOOP!\u201d<\/p>\n

In Leadersmithing, Poole creatively provides practical ways to apply practicing leadership skills using a deck of cards. The card that jumped out to me was the 6 of clubs–gravitas.[2]<\/a> Since this was not a word I was familiar with, nor was it defined in the book, I went out on a search for knowledge. According to the Cambridge dictionary, gravitas<\/em> means seriousness and importance of manner, causing feelings of respect and trust in others.[3]<\/a> This is an area where I could use extra practice to improve muscle memory and build my leadership repertoire.<\/p>\n

Gravitas did not come easily when I become the director of a small medical clinic. For seven years prior I was a colleague, friend, and mentor to those with whom I worked. As I shifted into the role as director, our comradery continued, for which I was glad. However, there were moments where intentional gravitas would have been beneficial to bring gravity and wisdom into a situation.<\/p>\n

Poole recommends minimizing one\u2019s contribution to a meeting to bring a higher level of gravitas. We probably can all picture a person we know who meets this description, \u201c\u2018wise\u2019 people seem to say less.\u201d[4]<\/a>\u00a0 Proverbs is full of verses that speak to the wise carefully using words in contrast to the fool who speaks too much. One of my favorites verses in Proverbs and personally convicting is Proverbs 29:11, \u201cA fool gives vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.\u201d [5]<\/a><\/p>\n

My plan for building gravitas is to keep asking myself this acronym that Tom Camacho recommends in Mining for Gold, \u201c<\/em>WAIT: Why Am I Talking?\u201d.[6]<\/a> In the past, I have used this tool to remind myself to stop and let others be heard. For the future, I want to remember that strategic silence is also a way to build trust, meaning, and gravitas. Going forward, I want to remember to \u201cSTOOOOP!\u201d My word does not need to be the first, the only, and the last. What do you need to stop and practice to make you the leader you were designed to be?<\/p>\n

_________________________________<\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Eve Poole, Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership<\/em> (London, England: Bloomsbury Business, 2017).<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Poole, Leadersmithing,<\/em> 114.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> \u201cGravitas,\u201d Cambridge Dictionary, February 14, 2024, https:\/\/dictionary.cambridge.org\/dictionary\/english\/gravitas.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Poole, Leadersmithing, 116<\/em>.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> The Holy Bible, English Standard Version <\/em>(Crossway, 2016).<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> Tom Camacho, Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders Through Coaching<\/em>, First published (Nottingham: IVP, 2019), Kindle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cStop!\u201d \u201cLouder, with more authority. He needs to know you mean it.\u201d \u201cStOp!\u201d \u201cSay it like your life depends on it because it does.\u201d \u201cSTOOOOOP!\u201d \u201cExcellent. Again.\u201d \u201cSTOOOOOP!\u201d \u201cAgain.\u201d \u201cSTOOOOOP!\u201d Our self-defense instructor encouraged us, \u201cPractice this in the car, your room, wherever, keep practicing. You need to develop that muscle memory. Practice this so […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":206,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[2967,2090],"class_list":["post-35845","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dlgp03","tag-poole","cohort-dlgp03"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35845","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/206"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35845"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35845\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35943,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35845\/revisions\/35943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35845"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35845"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35845"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}