{"id":35792,"date":"2024-02-19T12:58:19","date_gmt":"2024-02-19T20:58:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/?p=35792"},"modified":"2024-02-19T22:18:33","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T06:18:33","slug":"eq-is-rare-but-growing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/eq-is-rare-but-growing\/","title":{"rendered":"EQ is RARE but growing"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n

I first heard the term EQ or Emotional Intelligence about 15 years ago. I was hooked from the start. The deeper I went into learning about EQ the more it changed my perspective in myriad ways. It\u2019s no surprise, then, that emotional health and maturity is a cornerstone of my NPO project. It also seems to be a recurring theme in our leadership readings.

This week we learned from Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder about a leader\u2019s need for EQ. They connect emotional intelligence to what they call “fast-track” leadership (as opposed to “slow-track” leadership which deals more with managing results and the like), emphasizing the need for leaders to develop the relational side and grow in emotional maturity. [1] Their RARE model highlights the following:
R : Remain relational
A : Act like yourself
R : Return to joy
E : Endure hardships well [2]

Warner and Wilder\u2019s work in Rare Leadership<\/em> and Rare Leadership in the Workplace<\/em> is reflective of Simon Walker\u2019s counsel to lead out of who we are. [3] I even see connections to Daniel Lieberman\u2019s discussion of the shadow self and the emotional intelligence it takes to face the darker parts of ourselves. [4]

EQ and the Church<\/strong>
I\u2019m about to make some sweeping generalizations, so buckle up. It seems that in some Christian traditions, we have historically been taught to suppress emotions, mistrust emotions, or even treat them as sinful. I\u2019ve also witnessed some bizarre toxic positivity rebranded as trusting God.

I want to take a minute and acknowledge that this by no means the case in every church nor in every denomination. One of the things that I most appreciate about our cohort is seeing a broader perspective outside my own church experience, so I invite you to speak into this topic and nuance what I\u2019m saying. Where have you seen examples of emotional unhealth in the church? Perhaps you can also share encouraging examples of the church embracing emotional maturity. One such example comes to mind. That is emotionally healthy discipleship championed by leaders like Pete Scazzero. In his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality<\/em> he argues, \u201cGod made us as whole people, in his image (Genesis 1:27). That image includes physical, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, and social dimensions.\u201d [5]

Emotional Discipleship and Cross-Cultural EQ<\/strong>
If this blog post has turned down a winding path, it\u2019s because I\u2019m retracing my own winding journey of learning about the emotional-spiritual connection. Last year I was introduced to one of my favorite thinkers on this topic. Becky Cassel Miller is a PhD student who is developing a model of emotional discipleship. One aspect of her work is to dive deep into how emotions are constructed and how they are understood very differently across different cultures. She describes a lovely example of a Dutch word that means a cozy together-ness around the fire with a warm drink in a way that makes one feel safe.\u00a0 [6] As I\u2019ve followed her work and learned more from her, I see growing implications for my own spiritual growth and church leadership, especially cross-cultural discipleship and leadership. As many of you are in beautifully multicultural contexts, I\u2019ll simply conclude by sharing a few questions I\u2019ve been thinking about.

1. How do we handle the emotions, or the expression of emotion, in those we lead? As a reminder, the RARE leadership model urges us to remain relational and act like ourselves even in the midst of anger. [7] How are we (how am I) doing with that? How am I teaching those I lead to do the same?

2. How am I allowing space for others, particularly others of different cultural background, to experience emotions differently. What questions could I ask to better understand their emotional experience?

3. How do my emotions enter into the discipleship process? How can I grow spiritually as I learn more about emotional concepts that might be present in other cultures but absent in my own?<\/p>\r\n

___________________________________________<\/p>\r\n

1 Warner, Marcus and Jim Wilder. Rare Leadership in the Workplace: Four Uncommon Habits That Improve Focus, Engagement, and Productivity,<\/em>\u00a0(Northfield Publishing, 2021).<\/p>\r\n

2 Warner, Marcus, and Jim Wilder.\u00a0Rare Leadership : 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead,<\/em> (Moody Publishers, 2016).<\/p>\r\n

3 Simon P. Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership<\/em>, The Undefended Leader Trilogy. 1 (Piquant, 2007).<\/p>\r\n

4 Daniel Lieberman, Spellbound (Dallas, TX: BenBella Books, 2022).\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

5 Peter Scazzero, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It\u2019s Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature<\/em>, Updated edition (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 2017). 22.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

6 Becky Cassel Miller, \u201cEmotions and Spiritual Formation,\u201d interview by The Living Room Disciple, January 8, 2024, https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=J7bGzc6OFNw<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

7 Warner, Marcus, and Jim Wilder.\u00a0Rare Leadership : 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead,<\/em> (Moody Publishers, 2016). 126.\u00a0<\/p>\r\n

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I first heard the term EQ or Emotional Intelligence about 15 years ago. I was hooked from the start. The deeper I went into learning about EQ the more it changed my perspective in myriad ways. It\u2019s no surprise, then, that emotional health and maturity is a cornerstone of my NPO project. It also seems […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":186,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2310],"tags":[2489,2594,2595],"class_list":["post-35792","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-doctor-of-leadership-3","tag-dlgp02","tag-warner","tag-wilder","cohort-dlgp02"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35792","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/186"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35792"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35792\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35973,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35792\/revisions\/35973"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35792"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35792"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.georgefox.edu\/dlgp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35792"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}